Im at my witt?s end, my son go?s to senior school next year (which we are not sure yet that is a whole other fight) but im utterly exasperated.
For the 3rd time this week he came home last night without his lunch box and I feel as though normal every day tasks don?t register as being important? I know kids are forgetful but he?s costing me a fortune, 3 forgotten lunchbox?s and the 2 spare?s I gave him are now ?lost? this week alone.
He?s 11 and I?ve been told that he?s on the asperger?s end of the scale but im really struggling to instill any sort of independence. I don?t know it just seemed easier when he was younger you ?expect? young kids to need a lot of help but now he?s getting old im expecting him to need less and less help from his mum and it just doesn?t seem to happen.
Every day I have virtually instruct him task by task. Get dressed, brush teeth , have breakfast otherwise he doesn?t move ?ARGH!? We have a real problem with his teeth at the moment every morning and every night I have to TELL him to go and clean them, then when he?s done I go and check and 99% of the time I have to tell him to do them again because I sware he didn?t even make it to the bathroom. Im not sure whats happening he sware?s blind he clean?s them but when I check I can literally see the plaque on them. The only way they get clean is if I actually stand over him while he does it.
The light bulb moment was a few week?s ago he ran upto me with chocolate on his hands asking me what to do? I know it?s silly but I just felt so low.. if an 11 year old boy can?t work out one his own what to do with mucky hands how on earth is he suppose to navigate senior school??
This morning I literally broke down, I took him on a bus to school to get him used to it. Seeing as in September he?s going to have to start doing it for himself.
I gave him the money and a piece of paper with the stop written on it so he could ask the driver himself. We walked down the road and by the time we?d arrived at the bus stop he?d lost both. I gave him more money told him where he was getting off just as the bus arrived on we hopped.
He spent the whole journey looking terrified and overwhelmed (we haven?t done bus?s since he was little because he used to scream and cry every time I took him on one) literally in tears the whole way, I just can?t bare it. if a bus journey with his mum is that traumatic how the hell am I supposed to expect him to manage it on his own in 4 months??! Especially if he ends up at his ?allocated school? which will involve 2 bus journeys and a change in between.
I feel so selfish?. I just feel like im failing him at every turn. I cant get him into a good school, I didn?t get him extra support he clearly needs.
I guess it?s just hit me in the past couple of week?s that a lot of the things I do for him aren?t really normal for an 11 year old. Things I never even considered mentioning to the doctor?s when they saw him? I guess I just didn?t realise that helping an 11 year old to clean his teeth WASN?T normal. I just took it for granted because I?d always done it. Honestly im at the point now where i don't know what is normal for an 11 year old anyone i always felt he wasn't "that" bad but now im having doubts.
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12 replies
leiela · 13/05/2011 14:09
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zzzzz ·
13/05/2011 14:43
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