My 2.9 year old is quite idiosyncratic and I have always put this down to toddler quirks. But lately I've been a bit worried that some of his behaviour might be symptomatic of Aspergers.
I have a developmental assessment booked for next month But in the meantime, can anyone tell me if these are just bog-standard toddler quirks?
He is obsessed with washing machines. He talks about them in his sleep. He often mimics the spinning by spinning his arm. When he tries to engage in conversation in a social context it's often "washing machine haha". Similarly anything that spins - will spin bowls etc. He also likes kettles, tumble dryers, microwaves and hoovers. But his love for washing machines exceeds everything. He will watch it every day and for ages. He makes me draw them for him.
His social skills are very poor, unless it's with people he knows very well (family usually, even though we don't see them very often). Part of this is because we have a nanny share so no creche. I used to take him to toddler groups on my mornings off. But they seemed to stress him - he would stay close to me. He often tells me to go home when we head out in the car. We do have playdates (for want of a better word) and he is okay (not great) on a one to one basis. But he is very awkward and detached at birthday parties and other social events where there are lots of children playing. I've always though that he is just shy, I was chronically shy as child but less so these days. He mostly gets on well with DS2 though can be casually violent.
He is sometimes sensitive to noise and will object to the hoover (even though fascinated) because it's noisy.
Deeply loves all kinds of music. His speech has been quite delayed and while he now has a decent vocabularly, his pronounciation is still very unclear. Seems to struggle to communicate using words.
He has extreme emotional meltdowns. Again, this is what toddlers do. But he seems to have it so much more than my friends' children. I have always just linked this to his verbal difficulties and encourage him to try to use words instead of screaming and crying. But he won't, even when he can.
This is long. Thank you if you managed to wade through. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
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SN children
Does this sound like Aspergers?
LadyDisdain · 15/02/2011 11:52
Be prepared for people to try and fob you off. Stand your ground, point out the key issues but don't let your fears show too much or people will be so busy reassuring you that they may ignore what you're saying.
In particular, don't mention that people on the internet said things sounded a bit suspicious 
as the dr may think you're a nutter (but you could say 'he behaves v. like the son of an acquaintance with asd/as/whatever').
The thing is that children with asd can be really engaged with the world - I think it's a misconception that autistic people are 'in their own world' (in the commonly perceived sense of the term). This in itself doesn't mean a person isn't on the autistic spectrum - a child can be really sociable and seem to be engaged with others, but their interaction and communication can still be atypical or impaired.
My ds is really sociable, but we've realised that much of his interaction is on his terms. We're working very hard to try and reduce his controlling behaviour and rigidity through ABA (behavioural therapy, search these boards for loads of info about this), which has been amazing.
The arm spinning things etc you describe could be stimming - self-stimulatory, repetitive behaviour, common in people with asd - can be physical movements or vocal stims.
Agree with mariamagdelena, don't tell the gp you're basing your concerns on what people on the net have said, even though it's probably the case that posters here have far more experience of asd than the average gp! 
Whatever happens, the outcome really will not be doom and gloom. There will be lots you can do to help your ds if he has difficulties, and he will always be your lovely boy.
Hmm - difficult one. Eye contact and affection are also not diagnostic criteria for AS/ASD. Again, it's a misconception that people on the autistic spectrum aren't affectionate or don't make eye contact. I really think so many people think of autism and think of the 'rainman' stereotype - and fair enough - most people don't know anyone with asd and until you encounter it at close hand, it's one of those conditions which is really hard to understand. I'm only now just beginning to realise all the nuances of it, and how it presents itself.
The thing is that in children with asd, things like eye contact, affection, and desire to interact might probably be different to NT children, but are often so subtle that it's really hard to see - and often comes only with hindsight. As I said, my ds is very sociable and wants to interact most of the time - but compared to my dd (15mo) his interaction is different. It is on his terms, is quite rigid, and is on his agenda. We have learnt (through ABA) how to change this and expand his repetoire of social skills, but it does not come as naturally to him as it does to his tiny toddler sister.
I remember when ds was around a year/18 months old my mum tried to get his attention, and said things like "oh he's just busy" or "oh well he's just doing his own thing for a moment". When he wanted to interact he'd be right there, but if it was someone else initiating interaction and it didn't suit him at the time, then he'd just ignore it.
Anyway, enough rambling 
You are definitely doing the best thing by investigating this, and whatever you do to help his language development will definitely help his social development too. Good luck for the assessment next month.
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