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what am i doing wrong?

(5 Posts)
mummysgoingmad Thu 13-Jan-11 18:30:33

ds is now 2, i posted a couple of months back regarding his lack of communication. my original thread since i lasted posted we have made very little progress. I raised my concerns with my health visitor who agreed with me that my ds does need to been seen by a SALT and maybe a paediatrician. i raised my concerns in October and when we went for his 2 year check in Novemeber she said she would make a referral.
the specialist health visitor is coming to our home on thursday and right now i feel i may turn into a blubbering wreck. the constant moaning is really getting to me. Some days (like today) i can feel myself getting really frustrated.
I feel i need a bit of support, i have tried everything to get him to talk but my efforts are never rewarded.
Today for the 1st time i thought whats the point, i'm getting no where anyway i might as well just give up!
Please tell me i'm not the only person to think things like this from time to time.

Spinkle Thu 13-Jan-11 18:41:15

Oh, no you are not.

My DS didn't speak until about 3. Nothing, no babbling, nothing.

I'd speak to him. Nothing back. Talked about what we were doing, where we were going. Nothing. Singing songs, nothing.

Days of silence and me talking to myself. Drove me mad. Batty, in fact.

My DS is ASD but I recall that as probably one of our more hopeless periods in his life.

He is now 6. Has had a lot of speech and language therapy (we had to pay for most of it) and now doesn't stop talking and singing. Verbal diarrhoea, in fact.

He's still autistic, of course but so so so much easier to handle now he can communicate in his own way.

Get snotty. Demand help from the SALT.

adcd Thu 13-Jan-11 18:50:51

You are doing nothing wrong! Of course everyone feels like giving up at some point - you are only human and dealing with a stressful situation as best you can.
I've had a quick read of your original thread and there are some obvious positives -firstly, he can hear and secondly, although he may clap when you say hello, he's clearly got a grasp of communication.

If you can, try to lower your expectations of him - by this, i mean, talk to him, sing songs and rhymes etc to him, but don't expect him to join in with you yet. I think it's really important to keep exposing him to the fun of talking (even just making sounds) without tyring to make him speak. I am sure he'll start speaking when he is ready - as frustrating as that is for you.

PS Don't worry about turning into a blubbering wreck, i do it all the time, and HV's have always seen worse! And remember, you're doing a great job! Good luck!

Marne Thu 13-Jan-11 19:19:44

I think we all feel like giving up sometimes sad, dd2 was non-verbal until 3.5, she's now 4.9 and slowlly catching up. I found it very frustrating when she would not talk and it felt like she would never talk. I spent a lot of days in tears worrying about her future.

Dd2 has just shouted down (from her bed) for a chocolate biscuit, to think 18 months ago she could not talk.

Have you looked at PECS? I think i might have mentioned it on your other thread (i am a big fan of PEC'S as it has worked well for us).

mummysgoingmad Fri 14-Jan-11 16:02:29

thank you all for understanding, i just get so frustrated sometimes. ds is quite big for his age so when people come up to speak to him they naturally think because of his size he can talk back, then when i carry on the conversation they look at me as if to say why wont you let the child speak for himself.

i know this sounds daft but i just want to be able to talk to him, the moaning is unbearable sometimes and i just want to scream i don't know what you want from me!

spinkle- do you think i should look into private SALT for him? the health visitor did say it could take a while for him to be assessed. I have no idea about how to go private though, how would i do this?

adcd- maybe your right maybe i do need to lower my expectation of him, i do all the things that you talk about on a day to day basis, most of the time he either moans back at me or just crys sad

thanks marne i'll take a look at it.

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