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i feel a failure

(9 Posts)
needcoffee1982 Tue 11-Jan-11 10:14:56

my dd would like to do an after school club but last time, i couldnt get my ds out the house, so i'm too scared to let her go if i cant pick her up with ds who wont wear clothes and wont go in his major buggy. at this rate we will be housebound with him. i feel she has no life and neither do i because of his autism

Marne Tue 11-Jan-11 10:27:28

You are not a failure (if you are, so am i). Dd1 keeps asking to do after school clubs but i cant get her there because of dd2 (ASD), its just much hastle and stress having to take dd2 backwards and forwards to school to fetch dd1. It does make me feel sad, but hopfully one day we will find a way round it.

needcoffee1982 Tue 11-Jan-11 10:35:43

i'm trying to make up for it by taking them out on weekends, but we dont go too far and dont stay out very long, but its a start. hopefully one day we can go on a daytrip or maybe even a holiday. we havent had one since ds was born

UniS Tue 11-Jan-11 10:37:14

Is there any one else in her friendship group who goes to same afterschool club with a parent who may be willing to walk her home?

needcoffee1982 Tue 11-Jan-11 10:38:58

she dont have any friends and the parents dont talk to me

needcoffee1982 Tue 11-Jan-11 10:40:09

we also dont live in the area that they all do. it is quite a walk

Marne Tue 11-Jan-11 10:44:34

needcoffee- you are living my life grin, i have no one to take dd1 for me (parents tend to avoid us), we try and go out at weekends but it often ends in disaster (if its not 1 dd its the other), we do try and go on holiday but its harder work than being at home sad. We have found one place that we go to in the summer that both dd's love so we go there 3 or 4 times during the summer (last year we came home from holiday early and took the dd's there instead).

What area do you live in? are there any support groups for families/siblings of children with ASD? Some groups do day trips and activities for siblings.

needcoffee1982 Tue 11-Jan-11 10:56:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marne Tue 11-Jan-11 11:06:02

I'm in Dorset, we don't have a lot here in the way of support, i'm thinking of starting a support group. I only really have one friend up the school (she was me neighbour before we moved house a few months ago), sinse we moved i have felt a bit lost (i don't know anyone here), i'm guessing by your name you were born in 82 (same year as me), most of the mums at dd's school are a lot older than me and seem to look down their noses. There maaybe a Cerebra group in your area, they offer support and sometime trips out.

I'm married but dh is also on the autistic spectrum and is happy not to go any where or mix with people so i often have to try and take the dd's out on my own (which isn't easy with 2 autistic kids), this year we are going on holiday without dh (which should be fun).

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