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Hold my hand..

(30 Posts)

My DS2 is 13.5 years old with moderate learning difficulties and Aspergers. He goes to a club on a saturday mornings and his older sister has always taken him (she goes too) and brought him back, using his bus pass (free for people with disabilities btw!)

Before Xmas she decided to quit club. Today he has asked if he can come home on the bus still. BY HIMSELF.

The bus stop is just outside the club hall and he has the same routine every week.. club, sweet shop next door, bus home with sister.

He has never been out alone!

I know he can do this.. his routine is fixed in his head. I will meet him at the bus stop . I am incredibly proud that he wants to try...

but I'm scared........

starfish71 Sat 08-Jan-11 10:48:40

Fantastic that your DS wanted to still go even without his sister! He will be fine, what time is he due to get back?

know it is really hard. You are right to be proud!

bigcar Sat 08-Jan-11 11:18:46

<offers calming cuppa> what time is he due back? smile

wow you must be very proud of him. <hands out biscuit to go with tea>

StartingAfresh Sat 08-Jan-11 11:29:08

OMG, I'm so nervous and excited on your behalf!

Brilliant news!

Al1son Sat 08-Jan-11 11:39:09

Here, have on of my Guylian Seashells and chill.

You've obviously done a really good job of supporting his self confidence.

Do tell us when he's home.

purplepidjin Sat 08-Jan-11 12:05:43

FWIW, that sounds like a carbon copy of the independence training I used to do with teenagers with Asperger Syndrome when I worked at a residential school.

First you do it with them loads so they get used to it. Then you follow a few paces behind. Then you give them a 10 minute head start... Then they should be ready.

You did it "by the book" before you even knew the book existed grin

Al1son Sat 08-Jan-11 12:13:38

The problem isn't about the child being ready! For me at least it's about the parent being ready blush

purplepidjin Sat 08-Jan-11 12:20:24

Sorry, Al1son, that was meant to be reassuring to Medusa that she's done the right thing blush

Al1son Sat 08-Jan-11 12:22:48

No it's fine. That came out wrong. You're quite right. I'd just love someone to make it easier for me!

Goblinchild Sat 08-Jan-11 12:23:33

Well done!
I've been doing similar stuff with my 16 year old for the past few years, it's terrifying and satisfying in equal measures.
Even if it doesn't work perfectly first time, it's a very good start.
I'm very grateful for the invention of the mobile, given my boy so much more freedom, with a lifeline.

TheArsenicCupCake Sat 08-Jan-11 12:27:33

Well done !

< doing the mummy nervous jiggle for you>

LollipopViolet Sat 08-Jan-11 12:35:47

"FWIW, that sounds like a carbon copy of the independence training I used to do with teenagers with Asperger Syndrome when I worked at a residential school.

First you do it with them loads so they get used to it. Then you follow a few paces behind. Then you give them a 10 minute head start... Then they should be ready."

Purple, it's not just for teens with Aspergers. I'm visually impaired and first my school, then my college, did this with me, exactly as you said. It was really beneficial to me and now I hop on and off buses (and trains) alone all the time!

Medusa, I'm sure he'll be fine, and it's fantastic that he wants to try. I remember the first time I came home from town on my own, I rang home to say I was doing it, and asked 2 nice ladies if they'd point me in the direction of the bus station. I was ever so proud when I got home with no problems!

DameEdnaBeverage Sat 08-Jan-11 12:52:04

Meusa ,I expect he'll be fine - our dc's have a habit of surprising us don't they? My ds (10) has been taken to London for the day and I an really fretting too. i expect he will be fine though. My real worry is secondary school when he will have to travel by bus. Will be doing what Purplpidgin suggests all summer long! grin

LollipopViolet Sat 08-Jan-11 12:55:34

DameEdna, talk to his primary school. My secondary got in touch with the council for me, and they provided someone to do the training, so you might not have to do it all yourself over summer, they can start the process now.

He did it grin ..!!!!

Dad took him in the car and he caught the bus home himself after getting his sweets. He is very pleased with himself and I am THRILLED!

This was a kid we weren't sure was going to walk or talk, let alone catch a bus! In some ways he is 'clever' (he can scan wikipedia and know amazing facts) but attends a special school and has the worldly understanding of a 5 yr old...

We are using his absolute routine-bound-ness to help him develop patterns of independence.. so far so good . We started with him walking to our corner shop at the end of the road (with Dad lurking behind hedges lol) and are gradually trying to build up is confidence.

I am sooooo pleased for him today.. it's amassive massive milestone!

TheArsenicCupCake Sat 08-Jan-11 14:27:07

Yay! ( have been lurking to see if he managed it okay )

purplepidjin Sat 08-Jan-11 14:43:20

Oops, Lolli, my only experience of independence training has been with teens with AS. I'm glad it's across the board.

Medusa, you win the perfect parents of the day award, congratulations grin

And well done MiniMedusa grin

Good luck, DameEdna smile

bigcar Sat 08-Jan-11 15:17:57

well done to your ds smile

Ineedalife Sat 08-Jan-11 15:25:20

I have been lurking too, with fingers crossed that it went ok.

Well done your Ds and well done you for letting him do itsmile.

bullet234 Sat 08-Jan-11 15:37:37

It sounds like he did brilliantly grin. I was 15 before I went to the local shops (two streets away) on my own and 17 before I went on a bus or train completely on my own.

SauvignonBlanche Sat 08-Jan-11 15:40:50

That's lovely! smile

5inthebed Sat 08-Jan-11 15:46:55

Oh excellent! Well one to your DS!

LollipopViolet Sat 08-Jan-11 15:59:58

Yay! Well done your DS! And yes, well done to you

Bullet, I was 13 when I walked to my corner shop, literally down my road, 16 before I caught a bus on my own and unbelievably 19 when I caught a train on my own last year! Now at 21, I go where I fancy, as long as someone knows Independence is great, and because I'm not allowed to drive, it's key for me.

starfish71 Sat 08-Jan-11 16:07:14

Brilliant! So pleased for you and your DS.

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