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I've fffff...messed up!

(5 Posts)
DayShiftDoris Fri 07-Jan-11 19:04:56

Ok so had meeting today - all very positive! I didnt blub and although it was more for the school I found the woman personable and enthusiastic and she really listened.

There was a fab moment when I was alone with her (the head had nicked to the office) and I pressed home about wantin to apply one approach to Scallypants behaviour and for the school and I to apply it together. I also said that all the approaches work initially but then very quickly Scallypants will rubbish it.

The head walked in a few mins later and she rehashed what we had been talking about - the head jumped in and said EXACTLY what I had just said. The woman looked at her open mouthed and then me - I shrugged and said 'what can I say we have an understanding!'

So lots of ideas, no real plans but another boxed ticked.

So all was well in the world - he had a really good day at school too!

THEN

I got home to a letter from the comm paed. Have been very disappointed with her already so no surpirses that she has surpassed herself - basically we dont have a dx, he's not had an observations done, the school (until the letter today) has not dont any assessments and the 2 appts have been about her obtaining info and not sharing her thoughts.

yet the letter today smacked of her wanting to lead the CAF angry, suggests he not only has ASD but ADHD and she says the possibility of medication (she's even decided which medication!) will be discussed at CAF angry

I. LOST. IT. angry

I have no issue with dx and treatment but I have a problem with have surprises sprung on me and it smacks a bit of 'oh flip I better play catch up and look like I know what is going on!'

How can someone write and tell you that with no warning, no consideration!

I spoke to her secretary and was very irrational to be fair... I told her that I would not sit in a room with her so you can forget the CAF because I wont be there (yeah i know sad)
I then said i didn't want any further communication with her and would prefer another comm paed... that will be mid April then

Oh and be extra horrid she then said she would ring the school Monday, cancel the doctor going to CAF AND cancel planned observations at the school of other children she had promised to see.

I told her she was being incredibly immature and spiteful.

I have calmed down ish

I am awaiting for a call from the head this evening.

I've really buggered this up haven't I??

StartingAfresh Fri 07-Jan-11 20:23:41

Oh no you haven't buggered it up.

It sounds like the school are onside so perhaps you can go to them and explain what has happened and why and ask them for their advice on how you should deal with this comm paed.

Write to the Comm paed sec to 'clarify' your position. Clarify that she is implying that he has ASD and ADHD and ask if the references to it mean he has a formal dx or a verbal one. Tell her she is welcome to attend the CAF but you would prefer, (as ds' main provider of intervention), to lead the meeting.

Try to completely ignore the Secretary's spiteful comments.

Spinkle Fri 07-Jan-11 20:40:57

I'm sure these secretaries are pretty well used to cross mums. I wouldn't worry your head about that. It might be advantageous to get the parent partnership tp advocate for you too. Sorry it's been so hard today. This paed's name isnt dr. C is it?

DayShiftDoris Fri 07-Jan-11 21:46:43

I just feel (now I've calmed down) such an idiot!

The head had been trying to get hold of me - she had ofcourse read the letter with a detached view and was more reasonable. The comm paed is just proposing further assessments and if they were positive what could be done.

It was such a shock though

Anyway the head is going to smooth it over on Monday and the CAF goes ahead with the head (my choice) in lead role!

StartingAfresh Fri 07-Jan-11 21:49:27

Brilliant.

Idiot or not, it sounds to me that you acted pretty rationally considering.

High head. Put it down to experience. Go into the meeting knowing, not that you lost it but that the paed caused you to loose it and is feeling very insecure and ashamed of her actions and is begging you to pretend it never happened and will promise to do right by you from this day forward.

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