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OMG! after grilling EWO on phone just now about the next TAC meeting...

(6 Posts)
brandy77 Fri 07-Jan-11 15:04:40

the SENCO has asked the Ed Psyche to attend, the EWO has basically said that the school obviously doesnt think my son is "fine" or they wouldnt have asked EP to attend.Someone told me that here yesterday. I asked her what the schools concerns were as she had a meeting yesterday and it boils down to parenting again!!! Im so bloody annoyed! Teacher said that she has heard my son screaming at me when ive rung to say I cant get him in and that when he is in he is "fine" and that it appears hes only shows this behaviour for me. FGS! hes like it at his dads on a sunday and hes like it at my mothers house when he goes to her, she only told me today that he broke down totally when he thought his fish had died on FB game, and he was so distraught she was shocked and just couldnt calm him down, he thought the world had ended sad

Its in CAMHS records that mum and his father say they experience the same behaviour, what is it with these people! dont they listen or read records.

So now it appears at the TAC meeting the EP is going to go down the parenting route! surely they have better things to do with their precious time. sorry, rant over

brandy77 Fri 07-Jan-11 15:07:27

I told the EWO that i want to know if my son has learning difficulties, if he IS emotionally immature then i can treat him differently or if he has ASD then to get him into a special school he would need a statement.

Why oh why does it always come back to parenting sad my son is only 6 and been through so much with hospital/ongoing and all the drugs hes on its obvious hes not going to be normally behaved. I really wish he would flare up at school now and show what hes like sad

IndigoBell Fri 07-Jan-11 16:55:18

Sorry to hear that

They are totally not on questioning your parenting skills.

Hopefully the EP will see things school can't.....

pinkorkid Fri 07-Jan-11 16:57:32

Do you have any paperwork from camhs or elsewhere supporting you in showing his difficult behaviours are not limited to only one setting? If you can bring copies with you it may be easier to argue your case. Also, as many of us here can testify, many children with sn, especially asd, can hold it together in more structured times like school but feel comfortable enough with family to let off steam.

Also if you have difficulty getting him to go to school doen't that suggest there may be issues at school causing him stress? Is he able to articulate why he is reluctant to go to school? Does he have difficulty in other social situations?

Good luck with the meeting.

brandy77 Fri 07-Jan-11 17:22:55

il have a look through my old camhs letters to see if there is evidence of the behaviour at other places other than mine. my ex said at the last TAC meeting that our son was the same at his house and that he had got worse.

major problems getting him to school because he struggles so much with the work, he really should be working at reception level as he missed so much due to illhealth/hospital/refusal to go, he can read about 10 two letter words thats it, writing is horrendous and his confidence/self esteem are rock bottom which is what the psychologist said at the last TAC meeting. im so annoyed that i may be going into a meeting where yet again my parenting is questioned sad I have a 16 year old son who is fine, attends school fine, is doing his gcses and off to college in october, i parented him ok.

If it is my parenting it is only because i know there is an undiagnosed behavioural/emotional difficulty that i would not know how to parent! but he needs assessing to find out what his needs aresad im hoping the paed letter from london will carry some weight, as he knows that my sons behaviour is difficult as hes witnessed it and hoping his letter will state this (its in the post)

Thankyou for replying indigo and pink.x

brandy77 Fri 07-Jan-11 19:24:42

pink, ive found a part of his first cahms assessment which says that mother experiences violent tantrums, including biting, punching, kicking etc and that the father and grandmothers relationships with my son are also affected by the above. He was 4 years old then, now 6.4 yrs.

Mum says she feels she has to walk on eggshells when she has him and knows when hes going to go off on one so distracts him quickly. Dont know how she could word that as evidence?

She also reminded me that when she used to take him to toddlers (i worked full time then) on an afternoon he would sit on her lap screaming for the whole 1.5 hours and only get down at the end to gather all the chairs together and push them underneath the stage, which everyone found quite sweet but odd

Also had to leave playschool before the end of the last term before he refused to go there and wouldnt get out of the car and ran around the car park when a staff member attempted to get him out sad

i cant believe that ive gota prove that hes not just like this with me

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