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Give me strength

(44 Posts)
FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 13:57:36

Staying with ILs over New Year.

DD isn't sleeping and the 3 of us are crammed into a tiny room.

BIL is being his usual charming self, classics of his this visit include telling us with great glee and giggling that someone he knows has got a job 'driving the spazzy bus' and talking about 'spazzys' at his work.

SIL is being interfering as per and said 'just leave DD to feed herself, you aren't going to feed her forever are you?'

Well,yes, might have to, she has poor motor skills.


Roll on Friday!

dietstartstmoz Sun 02-Jan-11 13:59:54

Ooh, i'd find it difficult to bite my tongue. Can you make an excuse and leave early? Friday is a loong way off

silverfrog Sun 02-Jan-11 15:28:20

Oh, Fanjo, that must be hard.

I had my fair share of this too, when I could be bothered to speak to my inlaws (famil rift means we don't see them any more - in part due to their non-acceptance that we need to do stuff differently)

can you try a sweet smile, and say "oh, we all do things differently, wouldn't it be boring if we all only did things one way?"

or a very general "my goals are all long term - I am aiming for ehr to be feeding herself by the time she is <insert age, preferably somehting like 25>, so today isn't really worth the battle"

I used to have to contend with stuff like this form my step children too ("mum says she should be using a knife and fork by now"; "shouldn't she be talking a bit more? mum says I was reciting shakespear by 18 months" etc)

it is hard, but it is temporary.

when are you back home?

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 15:32:18

I meant roll on Tuesday, thankfully!

Biting my tongue for DH's sake!

My auntie is actually even worse at going on about how I should be 'training ' DD so I get it at home as well!

At least BIL and his vacuous GF are going away tomorrow, I can't bear him.

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs Sun 02-Jan-11 16:11:03

i dont think i have ever stayed as long as we were meant to, well thats when they were talking to us and before we were banned from the house grin

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 16:26:45

I would get up and leave. Seriously

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 16:32:49

I would if I was saying with them, but we are at MIL and FILs, she s lovely and he has been trying really hard this visit too, and been kind.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 16:38:57

They should step in then, it's bad enough kids hearing this shit off the public never mind family !!

<grumpy cow>

intothewest Sun 02-Jan-11 17:31:00

totally unacceptable word- my ds has cp and if anyone used that word in front of me there would be serious trouble-oh and I feed him sometimes too - good luck with the tongue biting,but I wouldn't !!

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 18:22:18

They, and fortunately DD, didn't hear the comments, just me and DH

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 18:37:10

It sounds like he's doing it on purpose tbh, to get at you. I'd confront him in an icy sp ? if I were you, make him look like a twat.

I know where you're coming from, I have a relative who seems to take pleasure in making her 5yr old recite sums, read etc very loud and in my presence all the while loudly repeating how clever are you being able to do all that when you're only 5 all the while her eyes firmly fixed on me and the dcs.

At least she did until I confronted her wink

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 18:44:32

Yea, I think he is, but not because of DD. Before I had DD he would take pleasure in making racist and homophobic comments in front of me, as if trying to shock me.

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 18:49:16

SIL (other brother's wife) Annoues me more than him though with her well meaning and patronizing advice on how to bring up DD as if I am responsible for her delays (DD: is 4 and DN can clap better than her, he is 9 months old)

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 18:49:43


TheArsenicCupCake Sun 02-Jan-11 19:40:12

Your a better person than I am... Because I would be very blunt and very cutting in response!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 19:42:17

Tell em both to do one, believe me, you'll feel better for it.

Maybe something like, oohhhhhhhhhh reallllyyyyyyyyyyy, I wasn't aware your son had cp ?? He's making such ammmmaaaaaaaazzzzzzziiiiiiiiinnnngggggggggggggg progress, please, tell me your secret

All the while with this -----> grin look on your face

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 22:16:12

I wish I could, sadly I'll have to see them for the next 40 odd years, hence the tongue biting! grin

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 22:28:15

Exactly, it needs to be nipped in the bud woman, doooooo itttttttttttt !

You should ave a poll on chat, see what they say wink

FanjoForTheMincePies Sun 02-Jan-11 22:29:21

I am too wussy!

intothewest Sun 02-Jan-11 22:39:53

agree with apocalypse ' NIP IT IN THE BUD ' do you want 40 !!!!!! years of this ??

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 22:41:44

Double dare ya !!

Seriously, do it for your child at least, words like this stay with children eventually he will start picking up on it, s'not on. You don't have to be harpy, just firm.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 22:43:21

she blush

Although it could be arranged for bil to become a sil wink

borderslass Sun 02-Jan-11 22:53:59

That's appalling I no longer see most of my in-laws due to their attitude to DS and awful treatment of DD2 you need to get it sorted now before your wee one notices.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Sun 02-Jan-11 22:58:39

You tell her borderslass !

2shoes Sun 02-Jan-11 23:05:47

just smak the idiot BIL in the mouth
why bother to bite your tounge, he didn't

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