need a friend

[loner82]

hi, i'm new to this so bear with me as i dont understand all the abbreviations yet. i just want to talk to people in a similar situation to me as a feel so alone.

i have a daughter 9 and a son 6 who has autism. they both have coeliac also. i dont drive and feel isolated as my son doesnt like going out and he doesnt like wearing clothes. the only break i get is when his bus comes to take him to school and i'm free to take my daughter to school and do the shopping. thats my life in a sentence. anyone else in the same boat?

[tiredmummyneedswineandsleep]

hello.
i feel for you. my life is similar. my ds is 3.4 and asd/adhd.
i am a single mother and only break from him is when i work part time.
i am shattered and exhausted. dont get nights out etc.. bringing ds anywhere is hard. he runs off etc.. no sense of danger, likes to lie on floor, chuck things everywhere etc.. i dont drive and am feeling increasingly isolated.
do you have a dh/dp who can help? dc being coeliac must be tough too.
can you apply to family fund for help with driving lessons? i'm thinking of doing that soon.
i'm sorry life is tough. you are not alone, i promise and i'm sure you are fab mum.

[loner82]

thanks tiredmummy. i just got a pc from the family fund and a trampoline which is still in the box. dont think i can apply again for 3 years now.
i've been seperated from my husband for 6 years now. he does have a little involment with the kids but he's in and out of jobs all the time and skint.

[tiredmummyneedswineandsleep]

hi think you can apply too have something 12 months after.
it's hard isn't it being a lone parent. do you live in england? i live in gloucestershire.

[tiredmummyneedswineandsleep]

lots of good advice on here. i'm fairly new and very grateful for the advice given.
sorry to hear that about carers group. is there anything else in your area? i recently found a childrens charity in my town for children with special needs. lovely people go from all walks of life. has been a godsend. they hold an asd meeting for parents once a month.

[loner82]

no just the one group for all disabilities in this town. i am finding this site very helpful thanks

[sickofsocalledexperts]

Poor you, it is tough. I have a girl of 9 and my boy is 7 and autistic, so almost same ages as yours. I am no-where near Wolverhampton, otherwise I'd suggest a coffee.

My boy also went through a phase of not wearing clothes, but I would just insist and keep putting them back on, albeit loose clothes. Then he learned that the only place he can be naked is in his room, and he has to put clothes on before coming out. It takes persistence, but it can be done I think.It is hard though as you have to pick your battles, and this may not be your priority at the moment. Could you make his room like a place where he can do anything, have all his toys etc,thereby also giving you more of a break? Or would that not work for you, as every child is so different.

[purplepidjbauble]

Allan White
autism.westmidlands
18 Highfield Road
Edgbaston
Birmingham
B15 3DU

Phone: 0121 450 7575
Email: [email protected]

www.autism.org.uk/directory/resources/15071.aspx

www.autism-outreach.org.uk/

Private message me about clothes - I have a "hobby" business making reasonably priced clothes for SN kids, including soft materials and enclosed seams.

I really hope some of the above info is relevant

[mariagoretti]

Hi loner82. You'll probably think I'm talking rubbish here, but have you considered contacting the local adhd support group? The reason I say it, is because my dc has adhd and probably an asd as well. Though they are 'medically' different, the issues that adhd parents face are pretty similar to those of asd parents. It does look as though health and education services might have hijacked your local group somewhat though, so try to talk to a parent/ carer when you ring, rather than a professional.

www.wolverhampton.gov.uk/community_living/interest/charities/wadhd.htm

I do wonder whether the feeling of isolation at the carer's group might be as much to do with your exhaustion and lack of support, as to the group itself. In which case, continuing to go might be worth a try. I felt 'the odd one out' in my group initially but this improved with time, even though my son is one of the few dc in mainstream, and I'm one of the few working mums that go. (My depression/ anxiety reducing also helped, but that's another story).

[hermitmum]

name change

thanks for the link purple. most helpful :)

[hermitmum]

will the adhd group let me go as he does not have adhd maria?

[mariagoretti]

hi hermit. You could say he's hyperactive and impulsive and you're waiting to ask camhs / your paed about the possibility

[Ineedtinsel]

You mention that you have a trampoline still in the box, do you have a garden? if you do I would seriously recommend getting it put up for your kids. Make sure it has a saftey enclosure and then the kids can play.
Trampolines are great for fitness and coordination.

I take a cup of tea outside and sit down for 5 minutes while mine are bouncing.

[hermitmum]

will do that. when the weather improves, tinsel :)

[Ineedtinsel]

LOOL hermit mine were bouncing in 2 foot of snow the other day, I tried to tell them to be careful but with a garden full of teens it wasn't easy.

I have to say I was watching from the window

Luckily Dd3 survived and had lots of fun.

[Ineedtinsel]

Of course that should have said LOL not lool.