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Refusing to open gift???

(8 Posts)
WasUnderThirthy Tue 21-Dec-10 15:44:38

Hello all,
My 31/2 dd shows a behaviour when its time to open gifts that really puzzles me, and I was wondering of any of your dc's might be like her. Whenever I tell her that I have a gift for her, she immediately says No, and turns away. Sometimes I try to open the gift with her, but she stills react strangely, sometimes refusing the gift, or throwing it on the floor. Eventually she is glad for the gift. I am thing that her behaviour might be in connection with her rigidity (her eval shows she is not asd but has similar trait)

Here is brief recap that might cause her to react like that, gdd, frontal lobe trauma, future adhd, language delay…

I am a little worried about the Christmas gift opening, I would like it to be a tantrum-free time, as it should be.hmm Can anyone relate, or have suggestions?

thank you

silverfrog Tue 21-Dec-10 15:57:07

dd1 used to do similar.

she would blank any presents, and run away if any mention was made of them. getting her to say thank you to the giver was just not an option.

we used ot do things like leaving the presents (unwrapped - she didn't understand wrapped presents at all for quite soem time) just laying about in the playroom for her to discover. it sometimes took a coulpe of days! but at least then she got to show interest without feeling pressured. heartbreaking though it was for us, it was less stressful for her.

she realy didn't understand that there was anyhting inside the present - so why would she bother going ot the trouble of opening it (which was difficult for her due to poor fine motor skills) for no end result? as you mention, once the resent was open, and she had had a bit of time to acclimatise, she usually liked the contents.

<just to add - dd1 is now 6, and is as eager for presents as any NT child, so there is hope smile>

auntevil Tue 21-Dec-10 16:16:39

My NT DS is 3.5 and does exactly the same. He runs away, rather than just turns! He also repeats no so many times and if we try to open it with him he says don't and no! It takes a while to get him to accept anything and sometimes we just open it and leave it for him to find.
I can't remember my other 2 being like that, but he is the most NT of them all. So i can relate, but apart from ignoring the behaviour so as not to make the tantrum worse - or give him an audience for it - i'm just hoping he grows out of it and realises when he's more mature that it is something to be looked forward to (unless the present's not what they like, but that's a different issue grin )
As far as opening presents in front of relatives - i would do the same and just say that its a bit overwhelming for her and that she'll open them later and then get her to draw a thank you card and say how excited she was with their wonderful gift! - or a photo of her with said gift.

Al1son Tue 21-Dec-10 16:22:11

I have a friend whose son has AS and he does this. They have to tell him that he will be getting a present and what the present is. Then they hand over the gift saying here is your xxxx (whatever is inside) and if they do that he will accept it. If they don't prepare him in this way he absolutely will not open it.

WasUnderThirthy Tue 21-Dec-10 17:03:14

Thnak you,
I am also hoping that seeing the family open gift will somehow ease the process.

mumslife Tue 21-Dec-10 17:54:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Agnesdipesto Wed 22-Dec-10 00:36:43

DS3 has ASD we don't wrap his presents but just put them in a gift bag but so he can easily see inside. He's still not that interested to be honest and usually we take them out of the bag ourselves and leave them around. Asking people to take all the packaging off as well so its ready to use is always good.

wendihouse22 Wed 22-Dec-10 13:30:23

My son was like this. Certainly, as a toddler (has autism, more Aspie). We would have to open one or two gifts at Xmas, which were greeted with "whatever" and then the rest would be opened intermittently. It meant we'd still be opening Xmas gifts in March!!

I think many ASD kids are like this. Now, he is ten but, he loses interest totally after say, 2 or 3 prezzies opened.

Have to say, he is economical to run and (he being an only child) I've never experienced that "I want, I want, I want" some parents have with their children.

This year, he's written to Santa and asked for two cars from Disney Pixar Cars film. I had to trawl Amazon to get hold of them and a number of others besides. The ones he's asked for he'll be delighted with.....the others may be opened and put on one side! That's how he is.

Merry Christmas to you.

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