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more school trouble

(12 Posts)
kittyfu Wed 15-Dec-10 09:54:03

Ds is still only part time, senco admitted today that this is not likly to change any time soon, and they do not no what to do with him. also asked if i would be willing to look at special provision schools, as they would be better able to deal with him. i really do not what to say, or how to feel about this. just feel really sad as i really wanted everything to work out at my local school, i want him to be close so i can get to him if he needs me.

just wondering what any one else thinks, about different school types, and anything else really. am i just wasting my time trying to make it work at this school, when i am really being to think it never will.

wendihouse22 Wed 15-Dec-10 10:04:37

What's your son's diagnosis? How old?

My son (now 10) started school part time. In fact, at the beginning of each school year, he starts in on half days for 2 or 3 weeks or so. He finds it really, really hard (autism more Aspie and newly diagnosed OCD). BUT, the school realised early on that although he was bright and highly articulate, he needed more help than they'd first thought. His Statement (fought long and hard for!!) now provides 28 hrs provision. The help is there.

Are they giving all they can to help him settle? What's his IEP state?

I'd say special school if he genuinely cannot cope with mainstream but, have they looked at all avenues?

It's so hard for you. I feel for you, I really do. We all want to give our kids the best possible start. And, a local school (if they can cope with it) is usually the best for all sorts of reasons. My son is now at the stage where we must think about secondary. I've visited a mainstream school WITH PROVISION for special needs and it's excellent. Whereas, the (excellent) mainstream High over the road from me has a SENCO who, despite my calls and messages left, hasn't even gotten back to me in over a month! That kinda tells me all I need to know. I don't think my son, as he is now, will cope with the mayhem of mainstream at secondary level which will impact his learning. So, I hope I'm doing the right thing gearing him up for a special provision 20 miles away.

I hope......but won't know till we try.

What's the school Educational Psychologist said? CAHMS? WHO'S DOING WHAT, EXACTLY?!

devientadventenigma Wed 15-Dec-10 10:07:48

Sorry for the hijack, but what do you do when your child doesn't cope with special school either??

starfishmummy Wed 15-Dec-10 10:50:54

Hi kitty

My DS - physical disabilities/medical needs/develpmental delay.

We started out with the intention of mainstream as we wanted him to go to a local school. By the time he started we'd agreed on a dual placement - part ms part ss; with the intention of moving to full time ms. It was quickly obvious that ms was not working. It is a school that has a reputation as a high achieving acadenmic school so was just not right. It was stressful for him (and for me as everytime i went there was a list of problems) He was happy at the ss, we were happy with it so we sent him there full time, and now he's 12 we know we made the right decision.

DS's school work closely with many mainstream schools - there are a a number ofchildren with dual placements and some children do move to full time ms; so it may not have to be one or the other, and even if it is ss for now, it might not be forever.

kittyfu Wed 15-Dec-10 13:12:26

ds has just turned 5, he has medical needs and a receptive language delay, as well as behavioural and social problems. we are waiting for an assesment for autism in the new year.

original they only wanted him in for 1 1/2 hours i have pushed and they now have him for 2 hours and 45 mins. he is statemented with 30 hours of support. we have had help from the specialist teaching service, a clinical psy, ed psy, his medical team. the school have now asked for advice on how to deal with him from specail schools in the area. everybody outside of the school seems to be doing everything they can to help and they still can not seem to cope with him, he is lashing out more, having more melt downs, and refusing to do anything they ask and hes started licking stuff. he takes himself out of the class room siting to sit at his table.

i have always felt the senco never really wanted him there. i'm starting to feel that i could keep fighting with this school but is it really worth it, if ds is the only one being hurt.

4nomore Wed 15-Dec-10 13:31:27

Every child is different and every school is different but I'm so incredibly happy now that my son (who's 5 and has ASD) is settled in a MLD school. I feel bad for my older son who is sesitive and "trait-y" and who is stuck in the local mainstream (a fairly unremarkable decently achieving school in a reasonably affluent area which utterly failed my youngest) being processed like product not nurtured as a person.

ommmward Wed 15-Dec-10 17:06:16

We home educate. It suits our square peg. Round peg? Whatever. For us, it means that everyone is calm and happy and learning and we aren't having to fight anyone for anything. I know lots of people on MN manage to get really good support from schools, but we just chose to opt out of all the stress entirely. Horses for courses. [desperately tries to get a couple more cliches in before hitting post]

kittyfu Thu 16-Dec-10 17:47:11

dont think i could home educate. well not if i want both of us to live. i'm definatly going to have to look at other options. i picked him up today and all the children are having a lovely party, my ds is having one just him and his 1:1

ommmward Thu 16-Dec-10 19:22:58

"he is lashing out more, having more melt downs, and refusing to do anything they ask and hes started licking stuff. he takes himself out of the class room siting to sit at his table."

that sounds as if he's really distressed, to me. I would think that a lot of his challenging behaviours would be likely to disappear when the primary source of stress was removed (well, that's what lots of my friends who've removed children with sensory issues from school have said happened to them).

I dunno. I'd go and visit a local home ed group, just to see if there are people there who face similar challenges to you, and whether their lives look less stressful than yours. If they look like they are having a hard time, then it's probably worth persevering with the schooling options.

wendihouse22 Fri 17-Dec-10 12:46:48

Check out home-ed......agree with ommmward. There may be home-ed groups in or around your area. Will try to find alink I was given about this. You don't live anywhere near Bexley, do you? New school opening there, I know.

This little man sounds very distressed to be acting as he is.

Check out the "Lessons from Geese" thread too. Nothing to do with schools etc, just a bunch of mad old birds (us) keeping each other "airborne".

wendihouse22 Fri 17-Dec-10 12:49:57

Yes, a new school opening in Bexley for kids 11 - 16yrs on the autistic spectrum or with special educational needs.

The Govt site is "New Schools Network". May be of some use?

kittyfu Fri 17-Dec-10 19:20:33

thanks wendi and ommmward, i'm gonna wait till after christmas and seriouly look at my other options including home ed. just very concerned that he would learn even less with me. i have had a quick google but not finding much in my area, no where near Bexley.

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