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Christmas chaos - anyone else?

(11 Posts)
Triggles Mon 13-Dec-10 12:03:35

I went to DS2's nativity programme this morning, then came home and cried. He was so overwhelmed by the audience of other school children and the costumes (this was their dress rehearsal), that he spent the whole programme utterly distressed and crying.

The school handled it well, to be fair. His 1:1 sat with him, and took him out to a side room to give him some time to regroup, then would bring him back in for the songs, in case he wanted to try to sing. But it just didn't go well at all. He ended up sitting in 1:1's lap, leaning against her, and listening to the other children sing, looking sad. The 1:1 handled it so quietly and smoothly that if you weren't watching, you wouldn't even have seen them going out of the room and coming back. She's very good with him, from what I've seen.

He's been singing these songs for the past few weeks - he knows them all and loves to sing them. But it was all just too much for him, I think. When I remember DD standing up happily singing for her christmas programmes at that age, it's such a different scenario. If anything highlights to me the difference SNs make, that was it. Add to that the appearance in the post today of a letter from the paed including copies of all the referral letters she has sent, which is basically a bunch of letters that are listing all the difficulties and problems DS2 has, it was too much for me. I just sat and cried. Still feeling teary now.

I just want to take him home and keep him there sometimes, to avoid all the chaos and overload that he is getting every day at school right now. He is just having so much trouble coping with everything, but I'm afraid if I pull him out every times there's a little stress, he'll never learn to deal with it. So I sit home, feeling like a rotten mum, and wait to pick him up after school.

So much for happy christmas.... sad

Please tell me it's not just me...

Larissaisonline Mon 13-Dec-10 12:19:07

No its really not just you, seding you hugs and a cup of tea. My ds had his play last week, he spent it playing with the curtain, singing with his eyes squeezed tight as he just could't bear me and his dad watching him. Is fine with other parents being there, just not us! Also yelled across the hall for me to "shut up" when I dared to smile at him. Great! Would't let me take any pictures, threw a complete tantrum when I had to take him home. Took an hour just to stop crying. However it is an improvment on nursery when I would have to sit with him on the stage.

Bloody Christmas, it is just so much for them and I will be really glad when the week is over and he breaks up from school. Like you I also received a report from the EP on the same day which lists in great detail all his difficulties which really didnt help.

Like you I also think that it will not help keeping him home when things get difficult, otherwise he will never be able to deal with these situations... but it is really hard sometimes

tiredmummyneedswineandsleep Mon 13-Dec-10 13:58:23

really feel for you and ds. it's so hard isn't it. i'm glad the 1:1 is good with him but i totally understand as a parent how hard it is.
tomorrow is ds's first christmas show but he wont be going. the pre school and myself both think it would be too much for him at 3.
i don't think he would cry but i can imagine he would shout out, scream, run around and spin.
it does hurt as working in a school and having been involved in several nativities over the years i couldn't wait for the day to watch my own child in one. have seen so many photos on facebook lately of friends' children in nativities and the proud statuses and comments that go along side them. It does make me quite upset.
It's tough reading the paperwork isn't it. I got a report on DS today from an advisory teacher and it brought home how different ds is to the others.
Take care.

tiredmummyneedswineandsleep Mon 13-Dec-10 14:00:29

p.s sending you some (((hugs)) and chocolate x

sumum Mon 13-Dec-10 14:09:20

I really feel for you, it's a hard time of year.
We went to a big kids party at the weekend, my ds spent his time in the food room alone while the kids played in the activity room and yhen in the activity room alone while the kids were in the food room!!!!
Still he had the bouncy castle to himself grin

Triggles Mon 13-Dec-10 15:23:03

tiredmummy - I went to today's dress rehearsal, and DH is going to tomorrow's performance, so that we could both go see it without taking our 1yo along. So that leaves me free to go to the meeting tomorrow at 10am, so I'm planning on going after all! If I'm not there, it's because I'm driving around in circles in the area, trying to either a) figure out where the centre is or b) trying to find parking. grin I hope it's okay to bring my 1yo DS along.

tiredmummyneedswineandsleep Mon 13-Dec-10 16:30:50

triggles do you have sat nav?
yes can bring one year old along. if you want they'll look after your ds in he lovely creche below or i'm sure you could bring him upstairs. i'm glad it's on tomo now as want to distract myself from the missed nativity.
hope you're ok. i'm not feeling christmassy ,bhouse a tip, ds hard work, the usual.

Triggles Mon 13-Dec-10 16:40:58

no, sat nav makes me crazy (crazier than normal? lol), but I will look it up on the map before I go. smile

Thank you for the info on the creche - I've never left him with anyone we don't know (family really) so I may be a dreadful precious parent LOL, but I'll look in on it, just in case. blush

Yes, I have already pre-warned DH that he may feel upset after seeing DS2 at the nativity, and I have just been teary all day over it. DS2 is, of course, completely blissfully unaware. I was so looking forward to Christmas, and now just feel empty and sad a bit.

And I've already bought all our Christmas presents, so I can't even indulge in a bit of retail therapy. LOL

Spinkle Mon 13-Dec-10 17:44:06

Bloomin Xmas! I took DS out of school the day of his play. He learned the words and actions before anyone else, I just knew he wouldn't cope. Teacher was very relieved.

Now this week I have to handle avoiding Christingle and a party with him, whilst making sure he goes in on Thurs am because the OT is whilst I somehow do extra work at school because of my schools xmas play.

Even the NT kids I teach are off their heads on excitment and tiredness so I'm thinking ASD lovelies are probably at breaking point.

Roll on 'normality' (whatever that is!) and the new year!!

OverflowingMum Mon 13-Dec-10 18:22:32

Well, DD hasnt even done her nativity yet, but is already at total breaking point, and has been for last couple of weeks. It started with the week we were snowed in , and has just got worse since.sad
Today she came out of school, literally threw her lunch box, book bag and letters at me, scrreamed and burst into tears...needles to say the evening has just got worse from there sad
It is all just WAY to much for her, and if I didnt have other dc at school and I didnt work, I think I would seriously take her out of school the last fortnight.
Mind you as spinkle has said, even my other "NT" DC are all over tired and overwhelmed and acting up accordingly, though not as extreme as DD3
Roll on Jan....indeed hmm

Triggles Mon 13-Dec-10 19:18:05

Yes, DS2 is sleeping worse than ever, off his food, and generally all over the place. I can't wait until Friday afternoon, so he can be home and return to some semblance of normality again.

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