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Anyone thinking of taking there dc's out a week early from school due to the change in routine leading up to x-mas?

(26 Posts)
Marne Wed 08-Dec-10 13:41:27

Following on from my other thread yesterday about dd2's not giving her enough hours 1:1 and me having to take her out at 1pm.

Today i picked dd2 up at 1pm, her face was red (been crying) and she ran towards me with a big smile (only does this when she's had a bad day), SENCO tells me dd2 had been tearfull all day and it got to lunch time and dd2 could not handle the lunch hall and they had to pull her out, as she has no 1:1 the SENCO had to calm her down and i'm guessing she missed her lunch. Today was the x-mas buffet so a slightly different set up, i sent dd2 with her luch box and opted out of the buffet as i didn't want to change her routine but she must have noticed that most of the school where having the buffet.

Tomorrow is the chrismas cook lunch, most of the school are having it including the teachers but again i oppted out as dd2 is used to having her lunch box.

Now the SENCO has asked me if i can pick dd2 up before lunch so she doesn't get upset and so the staff can eat the christmas lunch without having to calm dd2 down. I wasn't happy about this as i had plans to go shopping with my mum tomorrow (something i only do once a year) and now i have to cut it short to pick up dd2 just because they can't be doing with her meltdowns and because they have no 1:1 in place for her.

In her home/school communication book her TA has wrote that 'dd2 was very tearful today, maybe due to the christmas build up and the changes in routine', her TA is great but is only with dd2 for just under 3 hours a day (which is why i take her out early).

Dd2 is now happy as lary now she's home but i am now worried about how she will handle next week with the christmas play's and parties, is it really worth putting her though it? She can't even handle school asembelly without a 1:1 and ear deffenders (and she still gets upset), how the hell is she going to handle the school play?

I have just read lougles thread and i can see dd2 being the same (holding her ears and crying), i don't think me or her could handle the upset of that happening.

Are any of you taking your dc's out a week early?

Any advice?

auntevil Wed 08-Dec-10 14:24:28

Why are there so many things on at this time that overload all children? Some threads seem to have 4 christmas performances - plus all the rest of the hullabaloo. They've probably had to practise singing where to stand etc etc tons of times - aren't they at school to learn? That sounded really judgy, as i'm sure there are some learning objectives in there somewhere. 1 morning, 1 afternoon performance should be plenty.
But i feel a bit like that about christmas too - a month or more of present buying, food shopping, arranging family visits, decorating. It's a shame that what should be a happy family time is sensory overload city.
Just remind the HT - 'PEACE and GOODWILL' to all - it's the christmas message

My DD1 has been out a few days already. She was out last friday due to the whole day being spent going to different classrooms making xmas decorations. She has spent every afternoon in the ICT room with the Autistim teacher doing english and maths and social stories.
I was asked to collect her at lunchtime today because of the big school lunch and then bring her back at 1.15pm but when it was time to go back she had massive meltdown so I called and told them she wont be back today!
Shes off tomorrow due to school play practices all day and we ALWAYS take her out on holiday the week before they break up.

Now we dont celebrate xmas so this does add to the stress but think either way this would be a horrible time for her
She told me today she keeps getting the funny feeling in her tummy, keeps crying and doesnt know what she is meant to be doing, the poor girl

So yes its been easier keeping her at home and tbh I cant wait for it all to be over and back to normal, think it takes over every part of learning in Dec! hmm

Marne Wed 08-Dec-10 15:37:44

lisa- your poor dd, she must have been cofused with being taken out before lunch and then going back at 1.15, my dd2 would have had a huge meltdown too sad.

I think i will talk to her teacher tomorrow, i don't know how dd2 has been with practicing the school play, i might see how she gets on with dress rehersal on monday, if she can't handle it then i will take her out for the rest of the week.

I asked her 'did you have a happy day or a sad day today?' and she said 'sad day' sad. Dd2 is allways so happy so it upsets me to see her sad, its really not worth making her go if she's going to get upset.

Ineedtinsel Wed 08-Dec-10 16:12:06

I was considering keeping Dd3 off a bit because she is exhausted and stressed but she threw up at school today and got sent home anyway. She is absolutly fine now so I am wondering if it was stress related. Still I will keep her off tomorrow anyway.

We must stick to their 24 hour rule musn't wesmile.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 08-Dec-10 17:17:27

Message withdrawn

intothewest Wed 08-Dec-10 17:29:43

Sorry to hear about your dcs having such a bad time-I thought it wasn't affecting ds,but he had a major melt down for over half an hour this morning before school-just managed to get him on the bus-he's been fine at school all day-I think it must be a combination of tiredness and routine change?

HelensMelons Wed 08-Dec-10 17:38:01

Think its horrendous this time of year, far, far too much on and even my nt dc's struggle with the complete change of routine and a million and one fun things to do; all their behaviour deteriorates; however, i think i would take ds2 (asd) out of school if it was too much. I find this only happens at Christmas and then the build up to the summer holidays but it's not worth it, if ds is happier/less stressed out, out of the fracas then so am I x

Spinkle Wed 08-Dec-10 18:09:40

Oh Marne - I feel for you. I think it is the right thing to do to take her out but I also think it's a bit bloody cheeky of the school to ask you to take her so they could have their lunch in peace!!

I took DS out (6, ASD) at lunchtime also today as it was the xmas play this afternoon. We didn't think he'd cope with the performance and we (me and husband) didn't actually want to put ourselves through it again this year. The teacher's relief was palpable - he wasn't there to 'spoil' it for everyone, I guess.

He's now part time till the end of the term. I've got a million and one other things to do so I'm a teensy weensy bit resentful tbh. We have to do the same leading up to the summer hols too. I'm sure the EWO doesn't like it, but tough.

imahappycamper Wed 08-Dec-10 18:19:09

The school should not ask you to take your DD home for lunch unless they make it an exclusion- for which they would need better grounds than they have given.
However from a parent's point of view I used to keep my DS off school for the last week before Christmas just because he would get so upset and get himself into trouble. I am hoping this year he will actually make it to the end of term. He is Year 11.
Do what you think is best for your DD whatever the school say.
He made it to the end of the summer term this year (end of Year 10) for the first time.
I can see why Spinkle feels resentful about having DC home but I made the decision with DS in mind not the school.
I didn't have any trouble from the EWO. Maybe depends where you live.

anonandlikeit Wed 08-Dec-10 18:54:02

NO I always leave him in school. He does react, in various ways but we his TA gives him extra time & breaks etc.
For ds2 who is so rule bound & routine its a good way to stretch him a little.
Obviously if it ws causing him too much distress I would have to think again.

SauvignonBlanche Wed 08-Dec-10 18:56:18

When DS was little, I took him out early.

SantasMooningArse Wed 08-Dec-10 19:01:31

Hmm, in many ways I would like to but as we are off away a few days after break up thee's be no pint routine wise in facing the fury of The Old Cow (oh sorry I meant the head. At least I deleted the first name I called her!).

DS1 has managed to get himself a technical role for the play which helps (sound desk, he's turning into his dad LOL) and ds3 doesn;t care less about the play as he has no embarassment factor which is fab- he just joins in happily with the MS part of the school, oblivious to the fact he is hard to understand and compeltely out of tune. fab kid!

DS1 has been struggling though, lots of hitting again and the like, but i think it's keep my head down and plough on as I think we need the schoolday apart.

marne I;d go for it in your circs: sounds like a bloody nightmare! Hugs X

donkeyderby Wed 08-Dec-10 19:19:55

I might as well shoot myself. DS1 is far too difficult to manage at home for an extra week!!

I would consider taking ds2 out (NT) as he is getting stressed with Christmas performances and was in tears yesterday with the worry

Ineedtinsel Wed 08-Dec-10 21:42:26

Since I was on this thread ealier I have found out from another mum at school that Dd3 told the teachers she felt sick and they didn't believe her. The whole of year 3 and 4 had been told off for not performing their play as well as they should have done to key stage 1. They were made to rehearse again after lunch all in one class room [about 80 of them].

I am really upset for her, she has always enjoyed the production at xmas before but has been nervous as she is supposed to sing 2 lines of a song on her own.

If someone has shouted at her or casued her to be upset enough to vomit I am going to go bonkers.

Sorry for moaning but I needed to tell someone, OH is on nights and I feel like cryingsad.

Marne Thu 09-Dec-10 16:15:31

Ineed- thats so wrong, poor dd3 sad, i would be angry too, no wonder she was so upset. Sending you hugs, its so upsetting to see our little ones this upset sad.

I didn't send dd2 in today, dd1 is still off with pox so we all went x-mas shopping instead, i told the school she was too stressed to go in today, i gave her the choice of staying at home or going to school and she chose 'stay at home' (she allways chooses school). I spent an hour this morning crying, the thought of sending her in made me feel sick, i'm glad i kept her off, i will send her in tomorrow but if she gets upset that will be it until after christmas.

Ineedtinsel Thu 09-Dec-10 16:59:21

I kept Dd3 off to and we went xmas shopping. She had a great time choosing presents for her friends and no crowds.smile.

I also gave her the choice about whether she wanted to do tonights performance at school . She said no so I rang them and said she wouldn't be there. They probably think she is still sick.

We spent sometime this morning talking about what happened yesterday, she was able to use a scale of 1 to 10 to describe how she had been feeling, during the rehearsal and when the staff moaned. She finds it really difficult to talk about her feelings so I was really pleased.

I think the biggest contributing factor to her vomiting was 80 children in one classroom with the heating on!!

Marne Thu 09-Dec-10 17:42:14

Glad you had a good day Ineed, i have asked dd2 if she wants to go to school tomorrow and she said 'no', she looks pale (might be coming down with something) so i'm not sure if she will be going in now, i don't want to force her to go in sad. I wish dd2 could explain how she feels, i did ask her 'why she didn't want to go?' and she said 'crying' sad.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 09-Dec-10 17:49:33

Message withdrawn

just take them anyways grin

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 10-Dec-10 13:11:21

Message withdrawn

Shannaratiger Fri 10-Dec-10 13:48:09

I suffer from dyspraxia, as well as my dd and I'm getting really stressed with the changes in routines and all the extra things I've got to remember . Dd now she is in yr2 is coping all right as everything extra is the same as in yr R and yr 1.
If you think they won't cope though don't send them in, it's not worth putting them off school for a couple of days when not much acedemic work gets done anyway.
I can't wait until term starts again in January though and everything goes back to normal!!

ouryve Fri 10-Dec-10 16:45:05

School was closed most of last week and yesterday was the first day I had with no one home ill (and I don't count Monday when both boys were in school because DH was at home under my feet!)

DS1 took part in yesterday's Christingle service (though he ate all the sweets off his Christingle!) and survived the Christmas fair, this afternoon. He'll find the build up to his party on Monday difficult, but will be fine once he gets wind of cakes and hot dogs. He wants nothing to do with his class's nativity performance, but will do something else with his support assistant, instead. DS2 seems to be taking it all in his stride.

So I'll be enjoying my last few days of solace, TYVM!!!

dammitjannette Fri 10-Dec-10 17:51:14

DS is supposed to do four performances of an hour and 45 min xmas play (with a 15 min interval so 2 hours all in all).

He's 7.

The children have been practising for ages. They seem to do nothing else. It is all the junior school. There's no choice. They are supposed to do it.

There are 3 evening performances - 7 til 9. The 7 year olds are in the choir who have to sit still at either stage looking at the back wall of the hall. They are not allowed to turn around and look at the action on stage.

I think this is pretty disgraceful actually and too much for most 7 year olds let alone one with AS and a Sensory Processing Disorder.

I have already switched to flexi schooling as the school are USELESS. He has just had a statement issued (although we will be arguing about provision) and the head still doesn't see why she should use resources to help him rather than the literacy groups she has set up. She says 'I'm not doubting there are issues, but we just don't see it'.

Well strangely, even the LA do!

So he's not been in today and will not be doing the play. He did a rehearsal yesterday and was sat for two hours with the light in his eyes.

We need to move schools.

ouryve Mon 13-Dec-10 12:54:06

7 til 9? My 7 year old goes to bed at 7:30 most school nights - he's usually pretty knackered and no way can he sit still when he's so tired.

How unreasonable I hope you can find a much better school for him.

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