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How to deal with aggressive behaviour..what to do!?

(4 Posts)
morninggirl Sun 05-Dec-10 20:04:38

My son is 6 and while still undiagnosed, it is believed he has an ASD (high functioning), ADHD and an emotional attachment disorder (which was diagnosed by a private child psychologist earlier in the year.)

To avoid this getting too long, he's quite aggressive at times towards me, kicking, hitting, spitting, pinching also uses verbal threats. I have tried time outs, holding his hands so he doesn't strike me, giving him a quiet space that's only his in our flat..I've tried blanking the behaviour (but when I do that, he seems to persist to get a reaction.)
I'm not sure what else I could (or should) be trying, leaving him a alone during a meltdown isn't a good option as he is liable to break,throw,damage something.
I've been working on giving him more positive attention to his positive behaviours, even if it's something small like putting his plate in the sink.

This behaviour is the reason he's now on a managed move to another school. At his previous school, he had many exclusions (usually only for a day or two at a time). He is in the process of being assessed for a statement (this process only started in early November, he's seem the Ed. Psych already, CAMHS, CAMHS have written and said at this point there is no other assistance they can offer.) He sees his paediatrican again on Dec 14. He is also, at this time, not on any medication. At his new school (he started last Monday) and then had most of the week off due to snow, he is only going 2 hours in the morning and both days he went, he had meltdowns (throwing things, kicking, hitting).

I've spent some time reading threads in this section tonight and feel a lot of empathy for other parents out there. It may be worth pointing out that I am separated from my son's father and his father does see him a few times a week.

I could go on.. but for now, any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance

devientadventenigma Sun 05-Dec-10 22:44:29

sorry just a flying visit, however I have done this www.calmtraining.co.uk/ smile

daisy5678 Sun 05-Dec-10 23:41:20

My son is very similar to yours and CAMHS's advice was to try to avoid triggers, leave alone to calm as much as possible and to reward good behaviour...all of which I was trying but not all possible, as you'll know!

Medication may be an option in the future and that would usually go through CAMHS. Autism outreach are helpful here too.

I imagine the school stuff is setting off most of the home stuff, tbh, and will improve once he gets the support he needs in a settled, new school.

Good luck and take care.

morninggirl Mon 06-Dec-10 13:39:58

thanks for the link Devient, I will have a look at it once I can..

we do those things and to be honest, most of the time it doesn't make a difference, I left him alone during a meltdown only a bit ago and he trashed the christmas tree that we so happily put up yesterday.

the new school is worried about him (and basically he probably won't be allowed back due to continued bad behaviour), me and his dad are meeting with the headteacher first thing tomorrow morning.

all very difficult right now :/

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