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So if you discovered your child's TA had lied to you?

(32 Posts)
asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 14:52:13

What sort of action would you take? A bit of a saga about an IEP that was written by a TA to cover up the fact that the teacher couldn't be arsed to write one despite dd being statemented. IEP was absolute shite so TA thinking if she told me it had been ok'd by headteacher I wouldn't question it.
Now it will be easy enough to check with headteacher because I will tell TA that if HT ok'd that IEP then I'll complain to the governors so expect her to spill her guts because the HT is fearsome.
Ultimately of course it's the teacher at fault and will be tackling that one but I'm not sure I'll find it easy to trust either TA or teacher and am furious that the TA would lie to my face without even a hint of embarrassment. So WWYD?

HecateQueenOfWitches Sun 28-Nov-10 14:59:34

Exactly that. Tell her you intend to complain to the head about it.

You have to be able to trust the TA. If you can't, then it makes sending your child to school a really anxious time for you!

I've had my fair share of crap TAs who needed a rocket up 'em grin. Had some wonderful ones too mind! Currently both lads have got brilliant TAs!

When you get a 'bad' one, you have to go in and take no prisoners. I learned that the hard way. Trying to be nice and make them my friends. Ha. That came back and bit me in the arse.

You do what you have to do. At the end of the day, all that matters is your child. I know I'm done trying to be nicey nice at the expense of what's best for my children. I don't mean being a cow without reason grin. Be nice, have a laugh, connect, but if they fuck about - take 'em! wink

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 15:05:29

but if they fuck about - take 'em! That's my policy too Hecate grin just wondered if I was going to be too harsh by tearing her to pieces.Suspect she'll have been sweating all weekend because I told her Friday I'd like to make some alterations and then said I couldn't discuss it Friday afternoon so she's had plenty of time to stew grin

HecateQueenOfWitches Sun 28-Nov-10 15:08:21


She started it. grin

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 15:10:30

Ooh lovely grin and I'm feeling particularly vindictive because of PMT as well I'm going to have fun <rubs hands and cackles>

HecateQueenOfWitches Sun 28-Nov-10 15:14:59


Did I ever tell you about the TA who wrote about taking my sons into "unfamiliar situations" ?

The shop.
The library.
The bank.

I was very angry indeed.

Did she think I brought my children home after school and stuck them in a box?

Unfamiliar situations indeed.

I'm still pissed off about it!

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 15:22:56

asdx2 - maybe it is unfair to be angry at the TA? She might actually have had it OKd by the Headteacher, but what does the Headteacher know about your ds??? The poor TA was dumped in the position where she had to do something she wasn't trained to do, then had to run it by someone who really didn't know enough about the child in question.

Perhaps you should be gentle on her and explain that you don't think it is good enough that the HT checked the IEP and that you are cross that the teacher didn't go through it??? That way, you don't lose faith and goodwill with the TA!

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 15:24:49

Oh, and then complain to the Head and to the teacher.... in a very angry way, for not supporting you, your child or their staff. And escalate it to the governors if you have to!

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 15:29:12

No but what's unbelievable is that I am supposed to be handled with care after dragging a complaint about dd's last school for failing to meet her statement to the Director of Education. The previous HT told this HT I am the most difficult and demanding parent she has ever had the misfortune to meet grin

HecateQueenOfWitches Sun 28-Nov-10 15:32:58

When we lived in Hemel, I told the head that she was dictatorial.

She hated me grin

She was though! and crooked! Getting full time 1:1 funding for my children yet wanting me to pick them up at 2pm hmm AND having them babysat by the secretary in the school fucking OFFICE while the ta funded on their statement was acting as a bloody classroom assistant! angry

I could have swung for her! (the head)

Ta was so disgusted with the school and their treatment of my sons, that she showed up on my doorstep one evening, to tell me all about how they were really treating my kids.

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 15:43:40

There's no way would the HT have ok'd that IEP knowing my reputation. He would have known they would be playing into my hands.The teacher and the TA don't know what happened in detail about the previous school so that they weren't intimidated blush

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 15:46:42

Still worth pretending you believe the TA, though! You never know... after all, why didn't she say the teacher had OKd it? Surely that would make more sense - someone must have told her to write it and give it to you, so she could be right in saying the teacher OKd it, in that by not bothering to check it and letting the TA give it to you, that is implying she thinks it's OK... Or is the TA just not that clever?!

keepyourmouthshutox Sun 28-Nov-10 15:51:00

My guess is that they will all close rank.

When ds's teacher (and senco) terminated his statemented provision, she admitted that she made the decision at an emergency review meeting. However, when the headmistress wrote to me, copying the governors, the decision was one made by a highly professional team comprisiong teacher, TA and headmistress.

The woman lied even though there were 7 other witnesses at the meeting where the teacher admitted making the decision solely.

However, I think usually with the TAs, they do what the teachers tell them. Their careers do depend largely on the teachers they work with.

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 15:53:35

No she's just not that clever. When I said I'd like to make alterations she said that she had never written an IEP before and usually the teacher would have written it around her input.When I pointed out there were no outcomes she said I'd need to speak to the teacher about that because she didn't know I was so particular grin Teacher asked to see me friday night but I couldn't because of ds's taxi. The TA said the head and teacher had ok'd it when she gave it to me on Thursday. I didn't raise my concerns until friday morning though because I was gobsmacked that the IEP was considered acceptable.

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 15:58:44

Well, it certainly wouldn't be fair for the TA to get most of the blame! Teacher first, TA second (for lying) and HT, if genuinely unaware, last (unless poor management at the top is what caused this sort of behaviour, of course...).

If you want to retain any sort of constructive relationship with the teacher, though, maybe you should act confused rather than angry and ask for a meeting with the teacher and TA together, ASAP, to go through how on earth this could have happened, so that the teacher and TA can get out of the situation with a little bit of apparent integrity, whilst secretly being aware that you know they were lying and won't ever let them get away with it, again...

purplepidjrobin Sun 28-Nov-10 16:00:53

Having been a TA, I agree totally with what keepyour just said. TA's are totally reliant on the good will of the teacher involved, and that of the head teacher. We are seen as general dogsbodies on the same level as the dinnerladies and far less qualified even than the school receptionist. IME, 1:1's are employed only as long as the child they work with is at that school - I had a week to find a new job (and therefore pay my mortgage, bills and feed myself) when one kid I worked with was moved suddenly. Added to the sense of superiority teachers can give off, even the most experienced TA has little hope of getting their opinion listened to or acted upon.

15 hours a week is a fantastic provision for a child with SN. 15 hours a week at approx £6.50 an hour does not pay a living wage for a TA. The time I spent as a TA, I was running my flat on about £8.5k for a years work, and that was on a 28 hour week - I managed to get to run after school club, and did some gardening for cash for a mate.

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 16:13:36

No I don't blame the TA for the IEP it wasn't her job. It worries me that she really hasn't got a clue about dd's difficulties though and that she'd be prepared to lie so easily. The teacher iis definitely the puppeteer and I will make sure she is accountable for her inaction. I think because I speak to the TA daily and thought that we had a good relationship and that she cared about dd's well being is what hurts. It won't worry me sorting the teacher but I'm disappointed in the TA.

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 16:17:01

There is a bit of a difference between understanding your child and knowing how to prove that in an IEP, though. Her lack of understanding probably isn't as great as it sounds.

You could always take advantage of the situation - write your own IEP and give it to the TA to run by the teacher! That way you get what you want!!!!!

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 16:17:39

Serves the teacher right for taking her eye off the ball... you can then flog the teacher for not carrying out her own IEP...

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 16:24:17

Oh I've written my own IEP that will be implemented to the nth degree grin.The HT oversees dd's everything to do with dd because of the nuisance I made of myself with last HT grin so it would have been expected that it would be run by HT. TA knows that HT takes a special interest if I'm not happy so telling me he'd ok'd it is what I'd be expected to hear.

keepyourmouthshutox Sun 28-Nov-10 16:39:59

purple At another review meeting with teacher, senco and LA, LA said teachers were all trained in blah, blah, blah... and worth 6 times more than TAs.

And the teachers laughed and agreed with her.

asdx2 like you, I was really hurt by ds's TA who had been with him for 4 years. Like you I thought she cared about ds but it was clear that she had really given up on ds towards the end of last year and did the minimun required. Like you, I thought we had a good relationship and when things got bad with the school, I tried to not let it impact on her but it was clear that she was, probably on direction from teacher, keeping contact to a minimum. This was a person I relied on to write the home-school diary.

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 16:51:16

Have emailed HT (it's routine for me because I keep everything in writing and he emails me most weeks checking all is well) asking whether it would be ok to make some alterations to target 1 on the IEP. Said I'd discuss it with teacher on monday but wouldn't put too much effort into it if he felt it was ok as it stood. He'll either email back saying he hasn't seen it and so proving TA had lied or he'll bluff and start panicking when I produce the IEP grin

rabbitstew Sun 28-Nov-10 17:00:19

This is like a game of chess! If it weren't so sad, you could almost start to enjoy it.

asdx2 Sun 28-Nov-10 17:04:51

I have learnt a lot since the last school wink. Disappointing though that again I'm dealing with incompetence and deceit.

TheArsenicCupCake Sun 28-Nov-10 20:47:33

Ohhhhh .. I'd write to just nicely clarify that the TA had been left to write the IEP herself, but seeing as it was her first IEP the head okay'd it.
( would do a little ps email).

And anyway you cannot be the worst patent to deal with cos I hold that title... I make people force a kindly smile at me and shuffle.. And one lea professional litterally walks across the road if she sees me.. And yet I have never raised my voice nor smiled in a meeting.. and I don't give a monkeys.. Do the job your paid to do and it won't be stressful for you.. The numpties!
If you don't woe betide you!

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