needing help and advice

[joooly]

Hi, just wondered if anyone could tell me of any good books on Aspergers for a 3 year old? I have a wee boy (no dx yet)who really needs me to understand him better. Struggling with unwanted behaviour (especially in nursery) and just really need to find ways to help him. I posted on here a long time ago when he was 20 months and i had a new baby, since then he has seen a speech and language therapist and paediatrician who see him every six months but dont really do anything else. Have some doubts about my wee girl too but cant really cope with thinking about that too much just now. `Be really grateful for any help or advice. One last thing, he has been invited to his first birthday party outside the family, feel quite ill at the thought of taking him and him standing out from all the other children then having to leave early....would you go or just reply cant make it.

[anotherbrickinthewall]

Hi Jooly. the National Autistic Society website is a decent starting point (www.nas.org.uk). For a general overview of autism and some of the different (sometimes alterantive treatments) Autism for Dummies is OK. (It's part of the "Dummies" series, hence the naff title!). Julia Moor's book on Autism and Play is v. good. If there are eating issues you might also find Can't Eat, Won't Eat useful. If you look on the winslow publications website or Jessica Kingsley press website they have loads of books on aspergers and autism.

In terms of the party - depends how much your desire for him to try out his first non=family party is outweighed by upset to you if he struggles. fine just to decide it's too much and not bother.

[cansu]

as far as the party is concerned, i felt exactly the same a few weeks ago when dd2 (5 ASD) had her first invite. on the one hand I was pleased she had been included but on the other I dreaded a scene and me also getting upset if she couldn't cope. In the end I went but said to the mum I am not sure how she will cope please don't be offended if we can't stay long. We stayed for about 45 minutes but it was mainly OK and she enjoyed a bit of jumping around. I left when I could see she was getting stressy as it was v noisy and before party food which she won't eat. It's very hard as my inclination at the moment is to not do stuff which makes my life more difficult but on balance I'm glad we went. I think whatever you do is fine. If you don't feel up to it this time you might do in a few months time. This is a bit of a ramble but i think essentially I think you should be kind to yourself.

[StarkAndWitchesWillFindYou]

joooly You've had good advice as to next steps but I wanted to answer your question about the party.

IMO it is REALLY important to give your children who struggle with things, as much opportunity to practice and be exposed to the things they find difficult. The earlier you start the better for them. It doesn't mean you don't or shouldn't adapt the experience to ensure it is a comfortable for all around as it can be but please try it with the caveat suggested by cansu.

It isn't just about his practice, but also yours, so you can problem solve and do it better next time to that you don't become isoltated and house-bound.

hth

[StarkAndWitchesWillFindYou]

sorry, I have a practice/practise problem. Had it all my life. Never get it frigging right. Please accept my apology.

[joooly]

thanks for all your messages. I"ll look up the books and suggestions, will try the party too and just leave if it gets too much. He'd be happy if he had a train set with him but i think it's the play games music and food kind of party...not really his thing, he'll probably end up just running wild pretending to be a train and crashing into everyone... maybe i'll take a few trains with me.
Very grateful to everyone. x