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Really fed up of the implication that it's our incompetence as parents.

(8 Posts)
chocolatespread Tue 16-Nov-10 12:14:27

I'm sure this is old ground for all of you, but I'm really absolutely sick of people implying that if we just did this or just did that... angry. These are people who have absolutley no idea what it's like to try to modify behaviour that is close to unmodifiable. Our son is an absolute darling and everybody loves him, but because of that people just assume that any behaviour quirk must come from us, not him. It really has become clear from various comments of a general melee of relatives, friends and acquaintances that some think that we are just woefully incompetent.

Thankfully, the school seems to totally understand - they have regular instances on record of TAs being bitten 40 odd times in one morning. One of his TAs is far from incompetent, having a son with severe Autism and a has been TA for many years. Nonetheless, the school can see that certain behaviour can be managed, not modified.

So why do other people just prefer to look on and think how pathetically inadequate we are?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 16-Nov-10 12:18:35

i don't know but you are definitely not alone!

chocolatespread Tue 16-Nov-10 12:29:53

We bought a dog 2 months ago and it had an immediate impact on how DS2 treated DD. He went from hurting her constantly to doing so occasionally. We are so happy and delighted about this - all the puppy inconveience pails into the background compared to the relief we feel for DD. My mum was telling someone, a friend, about this and they said, "That's nice - if they can cope with an extra being".

IndigoBell Tue 16-Nov-10 12:36:57

It's very familiar ground. At least school haven't suggested you go on a parent course yet

Great that the dog has helped.

chocolatespread Tue 16-Nov-10 12:38:55

No, the school have been very understanding indeed, so I 'm really lucky there - I know it doesn't go that way for everyone.

chocolatespread Tue 16-Nov-10 12:39:57

Oh, Iv'e just realised I wrote 'pails' for pales. Not that it makes much difference really.

Anna85 Tue 16-Nov-10 12:53:44

I too have been made to feel that it was down to my parenting!!!
Luckily enough I changed HV and she saw what I did and a year later we got a diagnosis of ASD!!!


Spinkle Tue 16-Nov-10 18:18:50

I always say I wish I WAS a shit parent.

I could do something about that. As it is, I am pretty powerless against the ASD.


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