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HELP; at a loss & cant stop crying

(17 Posts)
moneytree Mon 15-Nov-10 11:59:01

I feel I have exhausted all avenues and letting my DS, aged 6, down. I desperately need some advice. Lets start from the beginning, my DS was born 2 weeks early, had severe reflux and was a very unhappy baby. He was late walker, had a speech delay and would have a meltdown or run around (when meant to be sitting down) if I took him to any sort of playgroup (there were many!). He would pull other childrens hair, chew their toys and bite them on occassion. He had speech therapy and they also put him forward to be assessed by an OT for dyspraxia. His preschool tried to help and although he is lovely he is very very stubborn when he doesn't want to do something. He is an Aug baby so started school shortly after his 4th bday which was way too soon. It was very traumatic for him, he didnt settle well & his teacher said he was "away with the fairies & very labour intensive". He finally had his OT assessment and although his lack of balance was noted he "passed the test". He is being treated by an Osteopath (which is great), homeopath and by an developmental therapist (brushing...sounds odd but I will try anything to help him) His school put him forward to be assessed by an ED Psychologist who said he had a very active mind and could not filter excess stimuli which affected his concentration. He was recently seen again by the Ed Psych who ruled out Dyslexia but wants a medical referral for assessment of his attention difficulties. I had a parent consultation with his teacher who said she feels she is letting him down as she doesn't know how to motivate him (he wont do any work) and asked for help from me. (I am working on a reward system that she & I can work together on)

Behaviour at home is fine as long as he his not under pressure and master of his universe. It does take a lot of patience as tasks are never done upon first request & things need to be explained over & over. I have read most child development books & implemented most strategies which work for a short time.

Sorry about this rant however this has been a long road for us and I just can't stop crying. I feel I have run out of tools to help my child and just need some help to get us through this. We have an appt with the GP tomorrow but I just don't know what to say, who to ask to be referred to etc. I just want diagnosis & guidance on how to deal with this. Can anyone give me some advice? sad

Triggles Mon 15-Nov-10 12:33:25

Don't have a lot of advice to offer, but didn't want to read and run. Only thing I can say is that I would think the GP needs to refer your DS to paediatrician.

Don't be sorry about ranting - we all do it - we all NEED to do it sometimes! Take a deep breath and collect yourself a bit if you can. Someone will be along soon with good info. The people here are brilliant about that.

IndigoBell Mon 15-Nov-10 12:37:42

I def think you need to be referred to a child development paed.

He could have ADHD, ASD, Dyspraxia or any number of other conditions I know nothing about.

You really need a paed to look at him.

meltedmarsbars Mon 15-Nov-10 12:39:08

Sounds like you need a referral to a paediatrician who specialises in his sort of attention issues, and CAHMS, who can help you with strategies.

And also sounds like you need some help and support yourself - I think there are others on here who will know what you are going through and who can offer advice.

However, I'm really not sure how the homeopathy will help.

moneytree Mon 15-Nov-10 12:46:09

Thank you for your support, appreciated. I will def ask GP to refer him to Paediatrician. I never heard of CAHMS before?

meltedmarsbars Mon 15-Nov-10 12:54:07

here run courses on behaviour development all over the country.

redhappy Mon 15-Nov-10 12:57:04

It might sound obvious, but write as much down as you can before the appointment to take with you.

When I approached the gp he didn't want to refer ds initially. So I was able to reel off a list of concerns as long as your arm and lo and behold we got the referral.

Will also help you in the future to keep these notes to refer back to, when you are asked about his behaviour/development etc at different stages.

Good luck, and please don't feel you have let him down, sounds like you have done lots already.

Triggles Mon 15-Nov-10 14:23:36

Definitely agree with redhappy. We jotted down any unusual or concerning behaviour that was saw with DS2, then typed it up and printed off a copy and brought it along to appointments. We've been told a couple times that the list was extremely helpful, especially as they can just make a copy of it and put it in his file with that particular professional. Plus if you sit down at one time, you may miss some things, but if you're jotting things down over a week or so, you'll catch a lot of little things you otherwise may have forgotten.

TheArsenicCupCake Mon 15-Nov-10 14:34:28

You haven't let him down, you just need a bit of outside input to see what's going on, that's all... And we have all been there on this board.

Referal to pead is good.
And totally agree with jotting things down as you go and making a big list for people you see.. Also worth doing is if you number the list of issues.. Make another list with corrisponding numbers for things you do or have tried to help with the situation.
Keep all reports, paper work etc together and have a file of your own to copy and dump on desks of professionals... I've been told this is very helpful by those who have worked with ds.. Particularly as medical and education donttalk to each other much!

moneytree Mon 15-Nov-10 14:35:02

Great advise, just making a list now and reading up on past reports from other professionals.

moneytree Mon 15-Nov-10 14:38:11

Thank you, thank you & thank you

anotherbrickinthewall Mon 15-Nov-10 15:04:36

might be worth getting an audiology referral as well, just to rule out whether he has a hearing problem.

moneytree Tue 16-Nov-10 12:40:57

He was referred to audiology in 2007 and result was good. He also wears glasses. Just doing my list to bring to the GP which means I am going over his history and referrals & results. It really brings it home how much of journey it is (sorry for sounding rather corny!) and what you have to go through to try and get a diagnosis and support.

mariagoretti Tue 16-Nov-10 14:47:17

Hope all goes well with the appt today.

moneytree Tue 16-Nov-10 18:24:29

Thank you. We spoke with the GP and she was very grateful for the history/list that we provided! Thank you. Good news, we got the referral to a Community Paed! Just the waiting game now. x

redhappy Wed 17-Nov-10 09:38:32

That's good news.

Keep posting, there's sure to be a lot more questions along the way! smile

moneytree Wed 17-Nov-10 10:59:50

Thank you and I will!

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