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Flippin Homework again !!!

(20 Posts)
Ineed2 Mon 08-Nov-10 21:57:27

Is it me or has the primary school world gone homework mad.

Dd3 gets numeracy on a Friday to be handed in before Tuesday and Literacy on a Monday to be handed in on Friday. Plus 2 or 3 reading books a week.

Grrr, this weeked she had a sheet of 8 mathematical problems all virtually identical. She was required to use 3 processes for each problem and show all her working out. It was a nightmare, she clearly knew how to do it but was not in the slightest bit interested. After number 3 she took the sheet outside to the recycling bin and threw it in.
She said "I do work at school, I have got more important things to do at home!"

Today the literacy came home it is a long paragraph with spelling/punctuation mistakes in it, she has to copy the whole paragraph and correct it.... OMG What chance have I got of getting her to do it???

Sorry what a moaning old bag I am, I am just sooo sick of it. She is so clever and work really had at school , why do I have to force her to work at home??sad.

auntevil Mon 08-Nov-10 22:37:16

I find i have to catch DS in the right frame of mind to do any homework - properly as requested. When he initiates it it's fine, when i ask an explosion.
DS asked to go to Kumon as he wants to be a DR and wants to get good grades. He is apparently really respectful and hardworking at school, aces it at Kumon and then explodes at home.
I know a few of the teachers at his school and i don't think they really like the idea of tons of homework, but a lot of parents expect it (why?).
main problem to him not doing his homework is that they are made to do it in 'golden time' . He would rather poke himself in the eye with a sharp stick than miss this. If i say 'fine, don't do it' - which is pretty much on every argument of not doing it, he gets emotional and cries that if he doesn't he will miss golden time. Lose, lose really. Empathy winging its way to you

Tiggles Mon 08-Nov-10 22:45:19

Very pleased that our school has a no homework unless absolutely necessary policy. Mainly as apparently loads of parents keep asking for more so they can keep their kids entertained more easily shock. DS1 is now in year 4, and I don't think he has had more than about 8 pieces all term, mainly stuff not finished in lessons. He is meant to have a spelling test each week, but does a good job of forgetting to bring the words home to learn wink.

IndigoBell Tue 09-Nov-10 08:11:06

My 3 kids get so much homework between them it's an absolute nightmare.

Could you put the timer on and say she only has to do 10 mins of homework ( or whatever ). Then hand in the work half finished if need be with a note on about how much time she spent on it.

The teachers don't actually get to choose how much homework to set. It's normally a school policy. So you may actually find the teacher sympathetic if you look like you're making an attempt to play ball.

But definately don't make a big deal or a battleground out of it. If the teacher really wants her to do it he will find a way go suitably 'motivate' her

I so hate that they get homework.

moosemama Tue 09-Nov-10 10:49:57

I used to have hell getting ds1 to do his homework, they have a ridiculous amount. Reading every night, spellings, times tables, literacy and numeracy and they have asked me to work on a touch typing programme at home with him a few times a week as well.

He is in the top groups for everything, but struggles with writing and presentation, so when they give him four sides of A4 with measuring and shape drawing or complex calculations its not only difficult, it knocks his self confidence.

It makes me so mad. Exactly when are they supposed to find time to 'come down' after school, relax and just be children? Let alone find time to work on his core strength, do pilates etc. Then they tell me that he needs to join more after school clubs to help his social skills (he already does chess club and did do Judo till they stopped it). confused

Ds2 has had the same amount as ds1 since Year 1! (Ds1 didn't start getting literacy, numeracy or times tables until Year2).

Ds1 is now ok-ish with doing his homework. There is always a tantrum, but at least it doesn't run into a meltdown these days.

We have a set timetable for after school, as it was the only way to avoid the daily meltdows. I hate being that restricted every day, but we don't really have a choice. I refuse to make them do homework at the weekends, as ds1 really couldn't handle the concept of doing schoolwork during his 'home time' at the weekend and on Fridays its reading and typing only (he loves doing both of those so they aren't a chore for him).

I have the timetable stuck up in the kitchen, on the front door and on the front cover of his home school diary and I remind him to look at it and what he has to do in the morning and before we leave the playground when I pick him up. That way he's expecting it before we get home.

After school timetable goes:

1.Come in, shoes in the basket, coats and bags on the peg, lunch boxes by the sink.

2. Go upstairs, change into PJs comfy clothes. grin

3. Come back downstairs for a drink, snack and a quick trip to the toilet.

4. Stay at the kitchen table for homework.

5. 10 minutes pilates exercises.

6. Once homework and pilates are done they can do whatever they want until tea is ready. Ds1 ALWAYS has his Nintendo hour straight away.

We're told no more than 40 minutes on each topic. I used to make him complete it, as I was worried he would get into trouble if he didn't, but now he times it himself and when he's done 40 minutes we stop and I write a note in his book. This has made a big difference, as knowing he just has to do his best for a finite amount of time, rather than having to finish it at any cost really takes the pressure off.

I have to sit with him the whole time and he needs constant prompting and reminders to get it done. Its significant to note that he produces lovely work at home, but terrible and usually incomplete classwork. (I shall be pointing this out to them at his IEP review next week as evidence that he needs 1-2-1 support to fulfil his potential.)

I also have to help ds2 with his homework at the same time, although have tried to schedule them so that one is doing something like spellings while the other is doing literacy or numeracy.

To be honest, it makes all of our lives a misery and eats up our afternoons/evenings. I used to really look forward to my boys coming home from school, but now its just one long horrible grind of homework. sad angry

Ineed2 Tue 09-Nov-10 11:20:04

Thankyou all I am glad it's not just us.

Dd3 took her book today with only 3 questions completed, I asked her last night if she wanted to finish it and she said no.
I don't know if she will get in to trouble or notsad.

I resent having to force my child to work at home. I dread getting the homework out. If her dad sits with he ends up telling her what to write, he has been the same with all of them, so it nearly always falls to me to do it.

I don't feel like the school are listening to my concerns at all but nothing will change unless we get a dx!! I am seriously p....d off with the whole school thing.

madsadlibrarian Tue 09-Nov-10 11:20:57

I've implemented a 'no more than 30 mins" rule per day. He is old enough to uderstand the distinction between 30 mins taking the p** and 30 mins real work. If I judge that he has worked for about 20 of the 30 mins, then he gets his reward. If he takes spends the entire 30 mins yowling "I can't do it", "it's too hard" etc and firing his pencil across the room, then it goes back in his school bag and he doesn't get his computer time or nintendo (yes we do have a meltdown and it was hell to begin with, but he has got better)
I don't think there is any way around having to supervise him closely for the full 30 mins.

Ineed2 Tue 09-Nov-10 11:26:39

I think it is often the poor quality of the homework which causes the problems for us.

Last year in Y2 Dd3 often completed her h/w on a saturday morning with no help or supervision, sometimes before I was even up[she is an ealy riser]. But it was interesting and made her want to do it. The stuff we have been getting in Y3 has been boring garbage.

I am sure they wouldn't sit them in the classroom with this rubbish it is usually a page of sums or putting words into sentences. Its mindbinding!!

madsadlibrarian Tue 09-Nov-10 11:32:47

Yup - just something they photocopy from a book so that they can say they are sending work home -you may find that there are no consequences if it isn't done - not the best lesson to give your child, but it would be one way of getting round the problem - just ignore it.

I just know mine needs the message that he has to do stuff - otherwise he'd have me holding his fork for him at dinner time!

moosemama Tue 09-Nov-10 11:32:59

Do you write a note in her book if she doesn't complete it. I do and always in pen so - then its there for future evidence reference. wink

I think it helps the teacher to understand that they have tried their best and you are making sure they have a good go at it. Which is essentially all they should be asking.

As madsadlibrarian said, as long as she is actually working and not wailing about not being able to do it, I would just get her to work for a pre-agreed length of time, then stop and write a note for the teacher.

Ironically, I think ds actually gets more done now we use this approach, as we don't get the meltdown at the beginning and he knows that by X o'clock he will have finished.

I feel for you and your dd, homework is the pits and they get far too much of it these days. I didn't get homework until I was in secondary school, yet mine have been bringing homework home since Reception year.

moosemama Tue 09-Nov-10 11:34:09

blush crossposted.

Ineed2 Tue 09-Nov-10 11:41:28

That should have been Mind bendingblush.

I have put notes in her book but on a post it and I have never had a reply. I will write in pen next timegrin.

I am going to set the timer next time and then write a note to say how long she worked for.

I don't remember getting homework in Primary either except tables and spellings. It is too much, as Dd3 said the other day " I haven't got time for this!!"grin.

moosemama Tue 09-Nov-10 12:17:07

I find if I write in pen, I usually get a quick reply.

I love "I haven't got time for this". grin Ds1 says, "homework is a waste of time, this is schoolwork, it should be done at school". Problem is, I don't disagree with him on this one. wink

Mind you, he is also the boy that thinks "clothes are a waste of time". He firmly believes we should all wear our PJs 24/7. grin

sugarcandymonster Tue 09-Nov-10 12:37:18

Homework is always particularly a problem for students with ASD, partly due to the black and white thinking of only associating schoolwork with school, and partly because it's hard to complete any kind of academic work outside of the structured environment of school. And of course they have a real need to unwind after school hours, because just getting through the school day is stressful enough.

I used to take DS to the public library to do homework as it felt more like a studious environment and it separated the activity from home, which he saw as a place to relax. We didn't get nearly as much as other people here though (a few pieces a term) and I guess it would be hard if you had other children to supervise as well. There was a homework club at his school as well but I found that less useful - the supervisor wasn't able to give DS enough support and it was more like a babysitting situation.

I'm relieved to say that DS doesn't get any homework at all at secondary smile. He's in a specialist AS school and they recognise that it's a particular problem for students with AS. It would be difficult for a ms school to organise things that way but the whole teaching timetable at his school is set up to teach everything in school hours and he has small class sizes which makes it easier to to do so.

Ineed2 Tue 09-Nov-10 13:41:00

My dd2 who is 15 and NT gets less homework than Dd3. I think our local secondary school have realised that h/w is pretty much a waste of time and leads to more marking for the teachers. If the students don't finish in class they have to take it home and she has to write up food tech lessons but apart from that she gets very little.

moose...Dd3 also said to me the other day that "school is for working and home is for other things."
I agree with her,by the away she too would wear nothing but pj's if she could get away with it .LOL. I guess she is lucky being a grla at the moment because leggings and hoodies are so trendy and yet sooo comfygrin.

milou2 Tue 09-Nov-10 13:55:25

My ds is 15, year 11. His mainstream secondary is special needs aware and so he basically has very little home work. He gets lots of support from their own support centre during school hours. What he does do, he decides on himself, I'm actively managing it at all, just provide food and smiles.

I can't say how wonderful it is to be in a household with nearly no home work pressure. I am not the 'nagging every 30 minutes' mum or the 'feeling permanently anxious because he won't do it' mum or the 'can't I please just write it for you' mum.

Mind you getting a good grade was fun! That was a long time ago, but I was so pleased with my maths work.

DS2 is home educated so no direct home work issues there either.

DS1 spends all evening reading, surfing his favourite sites to learn loads about physics, computers..., gaming when he wants to, and chatting happily with us. It's all good and he's learning all the time, even when we argue about things.

milou2 Tue 09-Nov-10 13:56:51

I meant not actively managing any home work.

Ineed2 Tue 09-Nov-10 14:13:22

Think I need some homework myself...awful spelling and typos todaygrin.

moosemama Tue 09-Nov-10 14:47:04

Ineed2, if things carry on the way they are going, they will be able to wear their PJs out everywhere anyway when they are older.

I was visiting friends in a big university town last week and there were students everywhere walking around in their PJs. I was freezing in my big school-run coat, but they didn't seem even sightly chilly - made me feel very old. blush grin

Sounds like our two are very much 'of a mind'. grin

Milou2, ds1 is like that. I honestly believe that if he didn't have so much homework to do he would be far busier teaching himself new things all the time. I just looked at the pile of books I've bought him for christmas, physics, chemistry, electronics, history - my secret hiding place for presents looks more like a school storeroom at the moment. grin

Ineed2 Tue 09-Nov-10 16:04:39

Lol at the students in their jarmas!!

Dd3 comes from a long line of fussy clothes wearers. I myself have no problems in that department I just have to choose which pair of well worn jeans and which fleecy jumper to wear each morninghmm.

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