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Advice on how best to word a complaint

(9 Posts)
auntevil Sun 07-Nov-10 23:46:30

I'll try make this as short as poss.
DS1 and DS2 went to a football party at a club where they play regularly. 1 member of staff has made me mad with his attitude and i want to take it further, but i don't want to stop my boys having a good time there.
This member of staff was told by me over the summer that DS1 is dyspraxic. He is now 8 and his gait , and often tiredness during activity is becoming very noticeable. The very next week, he was moved DOWN an ability level. DS seemed OK with this, so i let it slide.
During the party he told DS1 several times to stop 'flapping' his arms. Again, i let this slide as obviously in football you have to watch where your hands are.
the final straw was with DS2. Although he is NT, i do have a feeling he has a few questionable traits. He is very rigid in his thinking. He applies this to football. If you scythe down another player, a free kick is given. This man did not give it, DS2 (5) got upset and cried. Game went on. Ball was kicked out to DS2s team, this man blocked it and passed it back to the other team to score. This is not how referees play, so DS2 got upset and cried. The next bit got me sooooo angry i could have wept. This man decided that everyone should have a 5 minute cry - just like my DS. He asked the other players if they felt like crying too - they all said no.
This man needs to learn how to treat people with respect and not bully or discriminate. I think the club would be concerned if they knew. But how best to do it.
I would have done it at the party but he had disappeared by the time the DSs had got off the pitch.
Perhaps this should be in AIBU, but i know i am not, but don't know how far i should go in complaining.

TheLadyEvenstar Mon 08-Nov-10 00:29:29

I would write a letter to his boss, explaining everything how you have here. He really needs to be put in his place be it by extra training or a warning.

Hope you get a better bit of advice.

ShadeofViolet Mon 08-Nov-10 10:07:18



I would definately write a complaint - to do that to a child of 5 is horrid.

lisad123isgoingcrazy Mon 08-Nov-10 10:43:43

horrible bully who clearly likes to pick on little boys!
give them hell

Smallmonkfish Mon 08-Nov-10 11:13:10

Hi Aunt

How horrible. Although he deserves everything he gets, I understand that you don't want your boys to stop enjoying their time there.

I'd actually mention that in your complaint. The boys love it there, get so much out of it etc, but you could not ignore what happened and are sure the managers would want to know about such an incident.

Good luck with it all and let us know what happens. What a git!

imahappycamper Mon 08-Nov-10 11:15:20

He is not making reasonable adjustments for a child with a disability (dyspraxia). Mention this in your letter to his boss.
He really should not be treating a five year old like that either. Have other parents complained?
I know sometimes the culture in sports can be a bit bullish but this does seem to be going too far.
Is he an older man?

auntevil Mon 08-Nov-10 11:25:24

I have written my complaint - i was still stewing , but calm enough to think before putting it in writing.
The man is - and i am terrible at guessing ages - probably mid forties?
I wrote to the child welfare officer, as the boss gets a little defensive. I witnessed a mother complain about something once and he bit her head off - his wife came and apologised, then must have given him a red card as he came back and explained what had been asked of him in the first place.
I know the culture in sport is a bit bullish, i'm hoping that this makes them think about how they behave. If you are going to open the club up to children and families, you have to be aware that discrimination of any form cannot be tolerated. I read their website again and the football is for all abilities. If they are not prepared to adapt their style of coaching, they should make it clear that all abilities are NOT welcome!

imahappycamper Mon 08-Nov-10 11:31:06

Let us know if you get a response.

auntevil Mon 08-Nov-10 23:12:37

Just got a quick e-mail from the child welfare guy saying that they take welfare seriously and will look into the incident and report back within a week.
I spoke to the mum whose son's birthday it was and told her that i had complained. she is a good friend, her eldest DS has ADHD and she agreed that the incident should have been handled in a far better manner.

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