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Is this messing herself behavioral?

(10 Posts)
mummyloveslucy Fri 05-Nov-10 20:27:04

My 5.8 year old daughter has a developmental delay of 2 years. she suffers from constipation and is on Movicol. She soils herself at least once a day, on some occasions it's up to 5 times a day. I know that she can't help it when it's overflow, but she'll often go somewhere quiet and blatently push one out. If I look at her, she'll shout "I'm not pooing mummy!" hmm I've asked her why she does it and she says "I like doing it in my knickers"
She doesn't use the toilet at school for poos. She'll hold it in until she gets home. She'll often do it in the car o the way home. I've tried to make her use the school toilet before leaving but she won't.
If this is behavioral, how can I stop her doing it? I've tried star charts etc, she just looses interest. I can't understand why she would prefere to mess her knickers? hmm It's not for the attention either as she hates being cleaned. It's a real struggle to clean her every time. If you have experienced this and have any insight, please let me know. It's starting to get me down big time. sad

Eveiebaby Fri 05-Nov-10 21:11:04

Maybe it could be sensory if she says she likes doing it in her knickers? She may just like the feeling of the weight of the poo. Sorry can't be much more help my DD 4.5 ASD is still in pull-ups sad

auntevil Sat 06-Nov-10 11:29:39

Sorry, can't help on the why as i don't understand it either. My DS (NT) no developmental delay is on fybogel. Soils daily. We have been through all types of behavioural systems to try to stop this. He has been on different meds - gastro tests etc.
Latest suggestion was to offer as a reward 1-1 time with parent of choice doing an activity of choice. This was to see if it was a middle child behaviour of feeling he had little time of 1-1. His choice was going to see chelsea play with his dad. He managed 1 day, then reverted back and hasn't been clean again sad.
He does poo at school, and does poo throughout the day in the toilet at home. It's just that time after school and before bed that he soils. He laughs when we ask him why.
Frustrating isn't it.

PolarEyes Sat 06-Nov-10 13:33:47

DS1 has chronic constipation and I find the soiling etc is a combination of things. 1)his bowel has got stretched through withholding so therefore doesn't get the right signals and 2) he has real anxiety about pooing so doesn't want to do it at all. I've found you really have to be on top of the constipation side - so the right amounts of movicol, fluids, diet and to do whatever it takes to get him to toilet regularly. For DS1 this involved a nintendo DS (only time he would get it was when he was on the loo).

I would concentrate on trying to get her timed so poos happen at home and ask the school to ensure she goes for regular wees (as weeing stimulates the bowel).

I really sympathise it is distressing for parent and child and everytime I think we've got it sorted something happens and we are back to with holding and soiling again.

mummyloveslucy Sat 06-Nov-10 17:03:25

Thank you,It would be great if we could get her timing right to only need to go at home.
She went to visit a work colegue of my husbands today, and although she was getting a nice lot of attention, she did it there too. hmm My husband was so embarassed.

I hope we can sort it out soon.

PolarEyes Sat 06-Nov-10 21:51:21

it took a long time to get DS1 to poo other than at home, even the in-laws who we see and visit a lot. He had a leaky episode there tonight but as we hadn't had pudding yet I told him he couldn't have any until he really tried to do a poo. Sure enough he managed it.

DS1 also has senokot on prescription. I find that has a more immediate effect whereas movicol is more like 24hrs from when the dose was last given. Try sticking to a strict time of giving it for a few days to see if that helps regulate. DS1's paediatrician did a referral to the continence nurse for us, in our case there was nothing she could really advise that we weren't already doing, but might be worth trying to get a referral for your daughter?

purplepidjin Sat 06-Nov-10 22:56:21

Is there a toy she likes that has lots of bits to collect?

At group of students I worked with at a residential school had real trouble getting along. They all liked to play armies, so we got a fort and they earned little toy plastic soldiers for it for good behaviour. The soldiers were something like £3 for 100. They earned quite an army over the course of a half term, and were really quite friendly towards each other by the end of the first week

I'm thinking maybe a dolls house, then earn an item of furniture or a doll? Start with telling you she wants to do a poo before she does it and build up to doing the poo in the potty, then on the toilet, then flushing, hand washing etc...

HTH?

auntevil Sat 06-Nov-10 23:23:02

We have tried that method purplepidjin - we did it with match attax - football cards. Sometimes with distended bowels and leakages hay just don't know that it has leaked out. Sometimes when i have asked him to go to the loo (regular basis when he comes back from school to stop accidents) he goes into the toilet and is surprised that it is already there in his pants. It is then that he gets giggly/defensive or whatever other attitude he has decided to take. I think his thought process is that if he isn't going to get it right, even if he tries hard, what's the point. we have gone to rewarding letting us know that he has soiled, but he doesn't do that - or doesn't know - i still don't know which. His elder brother managed at about 3.6 by using the method you posted above - so it definitely works for some. His younger brother is 3.3 and has just started recognising that he needs to pee, so fingers crossed grin

purplepidjin Sat 06-Nov-10 23:41:09

I know with Dnephew (DP's nephew really) he has to be asked about every half hour if he needs to go. A couple of times if he's been out with us and one of us needs to go, we just sit him on too and give him the chance.

Would nappies be too much of a backward step? It might help you, at least, with less washing to do...

auntevil Sun 07-Nov-10 08:31:34

DS is NT - although i think he has a few traits - and is at MS school in year 1. Much as my problem with piles (washing!) would love less, it's more about how he feels about himself - confidence etc dressing for PE, peer comment. The enuresis nurse said that wearing pants would make him feel soiled quicker. I think it does, as when his meds are not right and i have to put him in pull ups as he is 'gushing', he seems to do less on the toilet.

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