Hi
I have a 4 year old boy who is autistic. I recently decided to give up work to spend more time with him and because I was finding it difficult to get mainstream childcare for him. I am now thinkign of setting up a cattery to try and get a balance between working but being at home for him. However being realistic I am going to need some extra help with him, mainly for a couple of hours each morning. I am thinking of getting an au pair as its home based care and affordable.
My mum has kind of put me off the idea by making a snide remark that my DS needs stability and that I may as well have stayed at work if I was going to get an au pair. This is what she did with me and my sister and in her words wouldn't have dreamed of having iot any other way. She doesn't seem to understand that I have to have a balance between caring for him, having an income and interests of my own.
I wondered if anyone had any views/experience of if an au pair would be disruptive for an autistic child? Henry is quite sociable and very good at reading emotions, his autism more manifests itself in the sense of not following instructions/having his own agenda.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
Getting an au pair for an autistic child
henryhsmum · 17/10/2010 12:03
From my experience, you need to be sure the au-pair understands fully the difficulties she will encounter while looking after your ds.
When i was 19, i came to London as a foreign au-pair girl to stay with a family who had 2 dc. A boy, 9y old, NT, and a girl of 6 with Rett syndrome.
The au-pair agency had of course told me she had SN before i accepted the job, but they told me she had Down syndrome. 
(bad practise! hey) so i did a bit of research about Downs to try to understand it a bit better, and left thinking i can do this.
My english was not too good and when talking to the mum on the phone a couple of times, i still didn't realised how disabled the little girl really was. So it was a shock when i got there and i found it very hard trying to adjust. But i stuck with the job.
If i were to look for an au-pair that would be one of the priority, making sure she knows what to expect with my child for a good start.
Good luck.
Yes, she is live on. Cost is an issue, but you obviously get more for your money too.
Our many does 8am to 7.30pm mon-fri, plus 2 evenings babysitting for 300 net per week. Then there is food costs on top, but tbh she doesn't actually.seem to eat
You could find a younger person, looking for experience for cheaper than that. Whereabouts are you, as costs vary hugely. You could try asking on the nappies/childcare board, they are very helpful.
I like the live in aspect, as it means dh & I can get back to doing things together again, eg theatre trips and suchlike, where we would leave before bedtime - having someone who is a constant across daytime/babysitting has helped dd1 accept this. But you might be able to find that flexibility with a daily.person too.
thats a very odd post jasmijn
Personally from my experience of Au pairs they dont tend to stick around long especially in a family with issues.
Could you look into getting mothers help? if your planning on being there all day then its not a problem. Where abouts are you?
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