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Advice please - normal behaviour or something more serious?

(12 Posts)
plus3 Wed 09-Sep-09 22:00:23

Ds (5.6) has just started yr1. He has always struggled with change, mostly in the form of not listening,fidgeting, pushing/bumping into and hitting other children(especially in queues and when on the carpet) This tends to settle down but never goes away completely. He is academically very bright, and his reception teacher praised his concentration skills once he had settled to work - he is dedicated to finishing whatever he starts. He is quite sensitive and responds fantastically to positive praise.

Had a meeting today with his new teacher who fairly quickly said 'So DS obviously has low attention...'to which I replied 'you are the first person to actually verbalise that'

I'm just not sure if he is just adjusting to another new class, or if there is a geniune underlying problem -if so we would like to address it as soon as possible.

Sorry for the long post, if anyone has any experience of this I would be most grateful.

plus3 Wed 09-Sep-09 22:10:29

bump - sorry. anyone out there? sad

hollytom Wed 09-Sep-09 22:19:16

He is only at start of Y1, boys do find it difficult to sit still as do some girls.
Hopefully he will settle as he matures but I think it is a little early to be categorising this as something other than normal.
It is difficult to comment without seeing him but believe me there are lots of little boys out there with the same difficulties. I think part of it is unrealistic expectations of how long chn of this age can sit still.
Hope things work out.

plus3 Wed 09-Sep-09 22:31:49

Thanks Hollytom - I think DH & I feel it is a maturity issue.His reception teacher would always say it's nothing to worry about, but I do worry. She mentioned that she had read something that'screamed DS' ...rainbow ????

Does this make any sense to anyone? It wasn't followed up at the time as things seemed to improve. I just feel so sad for Ds because he is a gorgous,bright,funny little boy and I don't want him to feel miserable at school.

Danthe4th Fri 25-Sep-09 22:54:36

Children especially boys can often not be expected to sit still and concentrate for 1 minute for every year of their lives plus or minus a year. So 6 mins!!! some children also need to fiddle with something in their hands be it a soft toy or some other sensory item while they are sitting and it helps children to listen and concentrate. Some schools have small baskets of toys to hand out at the beginning of assembly it keeps childrens hands occupied and focuses the brain to listen, stops fidgeting and poking of children in front.
It may help to experiment.

mimsum Thu 01-Oct-09 07:51:21

ds2 had his own special spot on the carpet (a red carpet tile) and a basket of little toys to play/fiddle with - usually topic related, so dinos when they were doing dinosaurs etc

He also had his own place in the queue

plus3 Thu 01-Oct-09 10:55:11

mimsum - and how was his concentration otherwise? My DS can focus completely whilst reading, writing etc. It seems to be the queue and carpet which are his flash points. Am I wrong in thinking that this does not consitute an attention disorder?

punchandjudy Thu 01-Oct-09 19:39:12

My ds displays all of these plus3, and atm is being seen by the ed psych. We are having terrible problems at school for agression as well.

I really don't think it is ever to early to raise concerns...the whole process takes forever...months, years even, so if you are worried then I would push for some intervention now rather than later.

My ds was 3 when school (nursery) and I raised concerns, and now we at a year later and are still only just at the beginning of the process.

plus3 Fri 02-Oct-09 11:36:16

thanks punchandjudy. In nursery school we had him tested for glue ear as we had reports that he was reacting badly to other children - that all went away quite quickly though.

We had another meeting last night. the school raised several agreesive incidents and were extremely concerned that he seemed to display no attempt to explain himself or be sorry. He was sent to his reception teacher (he's now in yr1) who he spoke completely openly with and she was able to see both sides of the picture. This was in week 1 of the new school year. Since then the agressive stuff seems to be settling, but the concentration issuses are stiil there.

They are going to give him until just after half term to settle, then we are to meet again. I am beside myself with worry and feel so desparetly sad for my DS. I want to be able to reassure him at school and I can't sadsadsad

punchandjudy Fri 02-Oct-09 11:50:37

plus3 I'm with you on the worry and sadness and the absolute helplessness of it all.

Will try to follow and keep up with you and see how you do. It's nice to find someone who feels the same as me.

mimsum Fri 02-Oct-09 23:41:09

sorry plus3 - didn't see this

his concentration on things which interested him was/is fine

he's not been diagnosed with adhd, however he does have a diagnosis of (mild) asperger's/dyspraxia

fwiw ds2 just could not say sorry in reception/y1 - he would sometimes lash out at the other kids (not often, but enough for one of the other parents to go into school and complain)

he's now in y5, with a fantastic teacher and is in the top groups for both maths and literacy and coping extremely well

plus3 Sat 03-Oct-09 17:23:17

thanks mimsum - I think that I just want to know what the school is suggesting - they are certainly suggesting that there is an issue, but initally their main concern was his lack of communication when challenged with reference to his behaviour.The fact that he spoke to his previous teacher would suggest to us that it was a trust and confidence issue with his very new teacher.

However now they are focusing on the fidgeting on the carpet/assembly, the lack of awareness for other children's personal space and repetive behaviour ie: continuing to play guns despite being asked not to.

punchandjudy - this feels like such a bombshell...I swing between convincing myself that there is nothing wrong and that the school are just being harsh on my DS who just isn't quite there yet socially, and trying to work out what it is that's wrong so I can start to fix it. I too will look out for your posts. sad

I'm just glad that this board exists.

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