I am trying to put together some helpful strategies to help DS1 aged 6 to cope with particular 'flash points' at school. (none of the teaching staff seems able to offer any experience or suggestions for him)
One of the problem areas is lining up to go out to play, into assembly etc. etc. DS1 will always elect to go last and obviously feels he cannot 'cope' with being in the middle of the line but other children also like to go last. DS1 does not have the verbal skills to negotiate and will become physical to assert himself.
DS1 is about to go into Yr2 so this has been unresolved for 2 years at school.
Anybody have any thoughts / experience as to how to overcome / work through this?
does he have an LSA? ds2 is always either front of the line or back of the line as he finds queues/crowds difficult - the line order is sorted out by the teacher/LSA
ds1 didn't line up at all - he'd wait until everyone else was wherever they needed to be and join them if he could - he didn't make it into assembly until half way through y2 - kept trying to, but would get to the door and then freeze!
Thanks mimsum. He doesn't have an LSA. The teachers seem to think it is unfair on the other children if DS1 is always at the back of the line which I can appreciate, but I am also aware that his reasons for wanting to be at the back are probably different from those of most of the other children.
I'm not sure whether it is better to 'work' on DS1 accepting being in the middle of the line sometimes or better to 'work' on the teaching staff accepting DS1 needs to be at the back of the line!
bloody school, can't they work with him, work out a weekly plan eg: he can be last every other day and 2nd to last on the other days , sort of ease him in slowly and gradually to the idea of not always being at the back but nearly at the back until he starts to feel more comfortable?
these little things really make a difference, are you getting a new teacher in Sept, maybe they might be more open?
Does he have a dx? Make a strong case for 'reasonable adjustment' and when he stops thumping people because he no longer feels crowded or trapped, they'll recognise that you actually know what you are talking about. Are there a couple of more mature children who would let him stand in line between them with enough space so there is no physical contact, and no fussing? Or you can log every time he gets stressed, position in line and then explain to the terminally dim what's going on.
I don't know what DS's needs are but if he has social skills difficulties a Speech & Language Therapist should be involved (ask school to refer) and this is exactly the type of difficulty they give teachers advice about.
Some schools have a policy that the person taking the register that day goes at the front (this could be the back). Some schools have a game where 1 kid is chosen and that kid pats another in the head who is next in line and so on. Some schools have a set lining up order, and that is ok too.
Lots of kids (without special needs) have difficulty with this aspect of school life at some point but it is unusual for it to persist. Good Luck.