Help- Son failing exams "U"- very poor working memory. Feeling like I've failed him

[LilMissRe]

Hi everyone
I'm looking for some words of encouragement really. My son, who is 15 has always achieved things much later than his peers; he crawled late, delayed in walking, talking, pretty much everything. He has always had lovely reports from his teachers that tell me how hard he works and how, despite being unable to access the subject's content, he'll try and keep trying.

He enjoys school and has never had issues with peers or anyone else. He struggles with Maths and English, very badly.

I've been told that he could understand a formula, or a method very well, and could accurately answer 100 questions, but the minute there is context and abstract text, he can't get it. This is rippling into his other subjects too. So long as the there requires to be abstract analysis or context to a question that he is unfamiliar with, he is lost.

He has see an ed psych in primary school and they have told me he has a poor working memory. They haven't said anything else which I assume means he doesn't display signs of autism or dyslexia.

I sit with him and create mind maps and for his recent English Lit exam, where he had to analyse Shakespeare, I nearly cried- How can they expect him to ever to access complex text like Shakespeare? The exam also contains poetry and again, its so abstract and he can't look or read between the lines. He failed his exam, and got a very poor mark. I just want him to have good opportunities in the future and I am running out of ways to help him.

The teachers at school all said the same thing "repetition, mind maps, videos" should help but I've tried with no luck.

Are there any parents on here with children with similar struggles, or maybe who have gone through this and can offer some words of wisdom?

I feel like such a helpless crap mother and that I have failed him. He deserves so much better than this and it's not fair that this is happening to him.

[FortunesFave]

My DD is younger but I think she has similar issues. I'm already steering her towards practical work. There are lots of careers that don't involve a uni degree or the kind of abstract thinking you're describing.

Working in the arts.
Antiques
Vitaculture
Farming (food production is one of the safest careers for the future)

Talk to him about it and make sure he doesn't feel 'dumb'. Big up his strengths and begin prepping him for a non academic life.

[LilMissRe]

@FortunesFave Thank you so much! I hadn't thought of those particular areas- I'll definitely look into this.

Thanks again

[FortunesFave]

No worries....talk to him about the things he enjoys most in life and discuss career options they could provide...then talk about the paths one could take to reach success.

For example....if he loves animals, he can start now looking for volunteering positions in shelters or stables or even the zoo.

I know a man...not university educated...who started a dog sitting business and he makes better money than I do as an editor. He has a special van he collects them all in and people pay good money per dog....his life is wonderful! All day with dogs...walking and playing and caring for them.

Other areas of interest...again...look for volunteer positions right now.

[FortunesFave]

And remember...there are more forms of intelligence than 'book smart'. My DD is the most articulate child...very funny, very popular....she can tell stories off the top of her head but writing them down? Hates it.

She's not dyslexic....she's been assessed too and has help in school. I think she's like me....finds school very cloying and doesn't like certain subjects. Have confidence in your son...he'll sense it and feel confident too.

[byfleetpuddles]

Ed Psych don't necessarily spot autism, two different ones didnt spot my DSs but that wouldn't completely explain the school issues. Was his overall IQ below 100 or just working memory? I would look at agriculture, animal type work, or a trade. Without GCSEs in maths and English further education is out of reach.