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I dont want to take my kid to school anymore

(19 Posts)
Tjorven64 Mon 14-Oct-19 18:31:02

I just dont know what I can do.

My 4 year old only goes 3 hours in reception class , senco told me that he cant attend fulltime due to him lashing out in afternoons,and that until he receives full time support from 1:1 ( she said this will take a few weeks until they'll find the right person) he's not allowed in class.

He's been very good for a month and still no help obviously, but now it's like he's a changed boy. He gets really angry, screaming a lot and throws toys everywhere ( I'm terrified if a toy will hit another child) lucky no biting or kicking though...2 days he's been behaving like this.
My excuse is that he has been having fever and been coughing all night so lack of sleep for a week.
If he cant be nice for 3 hours then what the hell can I do?

He has a bit of speech problem but its progressing.but still He's not fluent like his peers so I believe it could be that.

He has got a statement so funding is available, but his school didn't want him there in the first place due to him being naughty, and wanted me to choose a different school with help. Sure, the problem is the other school it's an hour long walk to that school so that I cant do plus alot of traffic and not safe for riding a bike.

He really hates school suddenly and I just carry so much anxiety dropping him off and picking him up because of his behaviour. And this anxiety I have is affecting him too . It's not good one bit and because I'm his only parent I dont wanna do this to him. I don't think he has any friends either anymore because he always has to leave when the others go to lunch, so he's being left out due to senco dont want to help in the first place.

Shall I just say goodbye to school and have a happier boy at home instead? Obviously he doesnt want to be there for a reason and he doesnt seem to care if he misses the social bit anymore ( he's a social boy btw and not shy).

Ellie56 Mon 14-Oct-19 23:16:19

If your child is ill and not been sleeping I would keep him off school until he is better.

However the SENCO has no business telling you he can't attend school. Only the Head Teacher can exclude pupils and if they do they have to do it officially and send you a letter saying why he is being excluded and for how long. Anything else is illegal exclusion.

You say he has a statement (you mean an EHCP?) so the school presumably knew what his needs were and what they had to put in place before he started school.

I would make an appointment to see the Head Teacher and tell him/her your child has right to full time education just like any other child and they have a legal duty to put the necessary support in place. You won't be taking him out of school and if they are going to exclude him you need the official paperwork.

Information here:

AspergersMum Tue 15-Oct-19 22:02:45

Agree with pp, this amounts to an unlawful exclusion each day. You don't have to keep him at home part-time, absolutely not.

MollyButton Tue 15-Oct-19 22:13:11

I would start by getting everything in writing or at least email. If they verbally say something to you then email them back to confirm what was said.
They have no excuse - they knew your son was coming they should have recruited a TA before. What exactly does the EHCP say he should have in terms of support?
It sounds like a series of illegal exclusions.

Tjorven64 Wed 16-Oct-19 06:51:21

The reason they will not give him support because they told me that they want him to start a different school that's an hour walk away from me, so it's the other school who has now said they cant take him due to being full already.

Yesterday I was told that they are going to take 2 hours away from school and just let him attend an hour now due to him still not behaving and throwing and a toy nearly hit another child, so that was my fear all along. So hes been excluded and they wont give him the help either. What's an hour gonna help? I wont take him to school until he gets his 1:1 , I just dont understand why he's suddenly so angry. He's been feeling poorly for 2 weeks ,he cant catch a break with being having cold and fevers due to this weather I guess.

Beveren Wed 16-Oct-19 07:14:26

You say he has a statement (you mean an EHCP?)

Not necessarily - OP may be in Wales."

If this school is named in the EHCP/statement, it must admit your child full time or, at the very least, pay for home tuition when he's not in school: anything else is disability discrimination. It can't just decide not to teach him and force him out to another school. The excuse about recruitment is just nonsense - the school must have been consulted before being named, so it has had ample time to recruit; and if that was a problem for any reason, they could get help via a supply agency.

It doesn't sound as if they have formally excluded him if they are saying he can come for an hour a day. Have you had a letter telling you he's excluded and giving you notice of your right to have the exclusion reviewed by the governors?

I'd strongly suggest you contact the SEN department as a matter of urgency and get them to intervene. I wouldn't have thought that they will be too happy that they are giving the school funding for a child who isn't allowed to be there.

If you want to try the other school, they can be named in the statement/EHCP despite being full. If it is more than two miles away, you will probably be entitled to home to school transport.

Tjorven64 Wed 16-Oct-19 07:36:32

Thanks for your reply. Its senco that told me he's only allowed to be in mornings. I didn't get any paperwork either. What sort of paperwork do I need?

Tjorven64 Wed 16-Oct-19 07:37:17

He wont be provided school transport I've asked before.

Ellie56 Wed 16-Oct-19 09:28:39

The SENCO is not allowed to exclude. It can only be done by the HT. You say, "My child is being excluded from school. Where is the official notification I am supposed to have from the Headteacher by law?"
If they say it is not exclusion or it's unofficial or any other crap, just tell them that is unlawful and you will be taking it further.

Ellie56 Wed 16-Oct-19 09:36:07

I would take your child to school and refuse to take him out again until you have the official letter from the Head Teacher giving the length and reason for exclusion.

They won't want to do that.

Ellie56 Wed 16-Oct-19 09:40:15

And if it's an LA school I would report the school to the LA. I am so cross on your behalf OP. angry

Tjorven64 Wed 16-Oct-19 10:37:20

I'm going to tribunal next month so can this be discussed with the court as well?

Ellie56 Wed 16-Oct-19 11:15:25

What are you appealing against OP?

Tjorven64 Wed 16-Oct-19 11:52:53

The school hes in now doesnt want him there and want to put him in a different school.

The other school says no so have to go thru tribunal.

So it's all a mess and I feel I cant speak for him or myself due to English is not my first language and I find it difficult to put things into words. It gives me great anxiety just thinking about if I mess up my words ...

Ellie56 Wed 16-Oct-19 12:47:49

Do you have anybody to go with you to Tribunal?

Tjorven64 Wed 16-Oct-19 13:24:43

No nobody but me and my boy I'm afraid...

Beveren Wed 16-Oct-19 23:15:39

Contact IPSEA for help with the tribunal.

Tjorven64 Thu 17-Oct-19 07:24:49

Thank you for your help

Ellie56 Thu 17-Oct-19 11:37:57

Tribunal helpline

Or if they can't help contact or

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