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Anyone have a child who is *very* young for their age?

(7 Posts)
Balula Mon 30-Sep-19 15:08:52

This might be the wrong topic but I don't know where else to post.

I have a 15 yr old son who has a life long medical condition. He spends a lot of time in hospital for weeks at time and always has.
He goes to main steam school on a reduced time table and is now year 10.

DH and I are increasingly worried about how immature he is with his behaviour and social behaviour particularly, he seems to have a huge lack of boundaries and no amount of talking to him, eking a good role model etc has helped this.

He's not gone through puberty properly and is behind but is on testosterone injections to help boost things but whilst physical changes are starting behavioural are not. A few examples.

We're in hospital at the moment, the school teacher came and collected him for school and he legged it the opposite way and hid under a table, not because he didn't want to got to school but because he thought it was funny.

He will often just flop in the floor and demand to be dragged to wherever he needs to be (obviously we don't indulge)

He talks in a fake, baby/feminine voice and uses a lot of 'baby talk' again he thinks this is being funny but even when I have very firmly told him that I've had enough he still continues.

He loves to read but chooses young books for his age, Wimpy kid etc.

He is obsessed with me, sitting on me, kissing me, hugging me, laying all over me - I'm not worried about affection but this is the same as you'd expect from a toddler, I assume because I'm the only one who's been with him through everything and I stay in hospital with him.

He's a bright boy but very behind at school due to absence and zero support to catch up (were working on that)

He has 1 friend at school who is another boy with mild SEN (I don't know the details) but over the past few years he's gone from the funny, class clown to the more irritating, babyish kid in class and that gap is getting bigger and bigger.

His teachers have asked me to have words about how touchy feely he is with the other kids, worried that he'll get reported for being inappropriate although it's obvious he doesn't mean it in that way, he does it at home too. I have spoken to him, DH has. The school have. He gets embarrassed and ashamed and cries but then it continues, either that or her refuses to acknowledge he's done anything wrong.

He sees a psychologist and gets on really well with him but won't talk to him about feeling etc.

He's such a lovely kid, so keen to be social and make friends and explore the world. I don't know if his illness and hospital life has lead him to behave like this, almost regression to when he was diagnosed or if there's other special needs he's got. I'm so worried he's going to be rejected by everyone (other than family) and become a loner.

I don't know what I'm even looking for typing this, some support from someone going through something similar maybe? Coping strategies, advice?

OneGreenMonster Mon 30-Sep-19 15:27:18

My DD is 8 but in many ways younger. She is behind at school and does not have friends outside of school. She enjoys preschool TV and play dough. She is autistic but wants to be social and make friends. As she gets older the gap between her and her peers gets bigger and bigger. Flopping on the floor and hiding under tables feature in out lives too along with pretending to be asleep or be someone else.
It is heartbreaking watching her struggle to meet age related expectations. I don't know how to help. Hopefully someone will come along and help both of us. I just wanted you to know you are not alone

Ellie56 Sat 05-Oct-19 22:25:50

I think I would be questioning whether the mainstream school is the right environment for him. Why is he on a reduced timetable?Does he have an EHCP?

AbsolCatly Sat 12-Oct-19 15:26:37

My son (13) is emotional immature, he has always seemed to be a couple of years behind his peers

What has worked with the invasion of personal space/touching (to a degree) were social stories that he did absorb, these were given home and school so the message was reinforced

He is still very affectionate (during recent assessment it was remarked on how he draped himself over me) but he is getting better at giving others space

Lara53 Tue 22-Oct-19 17:26:03

My DN has a lot of these traits - she’s 11, but behaves more like 6/7. Very babyish behaviour. She has ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia and is also on the Autistic Spectrum

Didiplanthis Wed 23-Oct-19 17:31:58

My ds is similar. He has ASD. I cannot get through to him his behaviour in getting inappropriate. He is much younger (nearly 8) but but behaves like a 3 year old has NO physical boundaries and is very huggy and touchy (in a totally innocent way) and nothing I say or do makes any difference. I know he is still young but nothing has got through to him in the last 5 years so not sure what's going to change. He is academically very advanced but socially it's real struggle ( all his 'friend's' went off together for a play date after school today. He wasn't invited... )....

QRCode Thu 07-Nov-19 18:44:39

It is possible that he has attachment disorder due to his lengthy hospital stays.

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