Please help

[AlasImHere]

This is my first post on here because I really don't know who to turn to. I have 9 year old son who has struggled through school since day 1. All the time, I've been led to believe he has ADHD, while doubting it myself really because he isn't hyperactive at all, he can concentrate, he can keep still, etc (my daughter I suspect does have ADHD). The school are pushing me for ADHD diagnosis so they can get funding, but it wasn't until recently having being led down the wrong path that I realised what my son's problem is. He goes to cubs and they asked me can he understand instructions? And I said no. This is the one issue that affects his entire behaviour. He can't understand instructions, verbal or written, but he can understand diagrams (eg, Lego instructions). I tried to get him to do his homework this afternoon and he really struggled, I tried so hard to get him to actually understand but he cried and kept asking "you know, so why can't you just do it?" I don't know what to do about it. I know that if he understood what he was doing he would just do it rather than messing about in class. But how do I teach him to understand? Does anyone else have this issue? I feel like he's given up now, I've taken so long to realise what the problem is that he just doesn't try anymore. I really want to help him.

[artichaut27]

Hi there,

Not being able to follow instructions is a common trait to several learning difficulties.
Instructions are a sequence to hold in our working memory. So if your working memory is weak you could struggle (I simplify though). I'm possibly dyspraxic/dyslexic and my son is diagnosed dyspraxic. We both struggle with instructions.
Working memory is something tested by an Ed Psych with a cognitive assessment. See if your school has the budget for an assessment for your son.
Your son's issue might be due to ADD which a type of attention disorder that doesn't come with the disruptive behaviours. This is something that would be assessed by the NHS, by a Pediatrics team.
Have you mentioned your son's issues to your GP?

[Tissie]

it is also worth checking out your son's receptive language. Developmental language issues are the most commonly under diagnosed in schools. If he can follow diagrams but not spoken or written instructions it is highly likely to be a language issue.

[Lara53]

You can have ADD (without the hyperactive bit). My DNiece has adhd and her younger brother has add