I have an Instinct that my dd is at the wrong school

[user4564376534875487]

My dd may very well have an assessment for adhd or similar over the coming months. She is in reception, in a large class and quite frankly I think she is struggling.
She is bright but loses focus in projects that she isn't interested in. Has problems sitting on the carpet and concentrating at times, is defiant/ does not recognise authority (though I have been working on this) and worse of all has friendship issues - complaints about her being unkind to other children/shoving from a few parents - children didn't tell teacher at the time (she also has an older sister whereas other children don't and is used to fending her corner).
If she does get a diagnosis, I can't see the parents at this particular school being sympathetic toward dd, I think she has already been scapegoated as difficult etc.
I don't believe the school is best equipped to help with dd - large class sizes etc. relatively young and inexperienced teaching staff and a belief in punishing rather than encouraging.
There is a school not too far away, that offers flexible learning, so basically it covers the core subjects in the morning and arts related subjects in the afternoon. Mixed classes (ages) and small. They claim to have a good track record supporting children with adhd and other conditions. To me it could fit the bill. It is private but you can do flexi learning whereby dd could attend in the mornings then come home with me in the afternoon. She gets tired at school and doesn't eat her lunch properly, I'm thinking shorter days for the next couple of years might be just the thing (with obviously reading in the afternoons/drawing/craft/visit to park etc she also does various activities out of school which seem okay.) It would be more affordable this way too and then look to increase days as time goes by. I feel a bit disorientated contemplating this, sometimes I come up with alternative ways to approaching things but obviously don't want to disadvantage dd in any way. DD has an older sister who has done well - academically and with friendships but they are different and to me dd2 being where she is, is like a round peg in a square hole. Should I be tackling things head on with current school (I don't have faith in them,) or make a change and hope it is a change for the better. The thought of pulling dd out feels like a weight lifting but is also dramatic and logistically it would be more difficult. Anyone else made any drastic school changes in the early years, did it work for your dc?

[user4564376534875487]

I should say, dd has always had behavioural issues, this isn't a sudden thing but I would say far more noticeable now that she has started school. Parents evening last week, the teacher had hardly a positive word to say, it was straight into everything dd does wrong/doesn't quite do right/could do better.

[user4564376534875487]

When I ask dd what she likes about school = sweet desserts after lunch and nothing much else that I can recall.

[user4564376534875487]

Now responding to the thread on education board.