How do we teach our kids? Any good ideas?

[donaldducksgranonceremoved]

My kid doesn't have diagnosed SEN (does have behaviour that's presenting similar, personally I believe this is due to his life experience which has had some very challenging things historically) he simply wouldn't get a diagnosis (and I don't believe he has)- he will fall under any threshold

My friends kid does likely have ASD, probably will get a diagnosis but so far has fallen under the threshold

Both kids now unhappy at school (same class) and struggling- hers more so to keep up, mine more so to manage emotions so he can keep up

Numerous reasons why school isn't quite meeting each child's needs and losing battle currently but fighting that - decent teacher, not her fault, she's just not superwoman in this - so ignoring school out of the equation in solution for this post or it'd get much longer 😅

Both of us (mums - both dads not involved or helpful) struggling with our own stuff at times and want to help our kids and we think we will manage better supporting each other. Both our kids have similar challenges but caused by different reasons, both kids great friends.

Current plan - put the two together so if one of us can't manage it, the other one can and between us share teaching our kids in a way they can learn and want to - so they keep up in school

I hope I've summarised the background, (2 frazzled mums, 2 kids unhappy at school, kids similar in their challenges but for very different reasons. We want to share extra teaching them)

Really what I wanted to ask... teaching resources. We know our kids aren't being taught in quite the way they will learn, we know together they will be keen to learn and enjoy it if we can do it right and hopefully then keep up at school. We just don't know how we should be teaching them.

Any good links to information for finding out how we get through to our kids and can help them catch up? One kid can't read - one can but isn't interested anymore after challenges behaviourally at school- they're both 6.

I'm really talking an extra hour or two a week where we get it right and it's fun. Other parents seem to manage this helping kids with education alone - we haven't so far so going to try together and see if that works for us all.

Apologies if wrong topic for posting... wondered between primary education or SEN