Explain to my DH why getting an ASD diagnosis for DS was not a bad idea.

[whohaa]

DS is 3 and has just been diagnosed with HF ASD. DH came out of the appointment very angry and has insisted that we don't tell anybody. He is in denial that DS had social difficulties and doesn't believe what the doctors, nursery or myself are saying. He admits that DS is different, but doesn't think he should have had a diagnosis.
Dh is not a bad person at all, I think he's just so shocked and is worried that he'll struggle through life and miss out on a lot. How do I explain that this isn't a 'sentence' and doesn't change DS? Surely a diagnosis will help?

[SuperLoudPoppingAction]

It's like your ds can now live a life where he knows he's a hexagon and can speak up for himself when he's treated like he should be a triangle.
Without a diagnosis people would go through life being angry or confused when he doesn't act like a triangle.
Just replace with neurotypical and autistic.

It's not a great feeling growing up feeling whatever you do is wrong.
It's awful for your self esteem.

Your ds is lucky.
Even if people discriminate against him he will know this is their problem, not his.

He has a name for a very big part of his identity.

[whohaa]

Thank you. That's a really good explanation. DS had an enormous melt down over something so minor this evening, that I think it got DH thinking.

[Punxsutawney]

I think it will help your son to have a diagnosis. We are currently on the autism pathway with our 14 year old. I so wish we had pursued a diagnosis earlier. It has been a difficult time whilst we wait for assessments. I really feel like I have let my child down as he would have had more intervention and support if he had been assessed before now.

I will always feel guilty for not pursuing this sooner, I definitely think you have done the right thing.

[whohaa]

Is it wrong that I don't feel at all emotional about the diagnosis? I thought I'd come out crying if they gave an ASD diagnosis, but I felt nothing. I don't know if it's because I was actually expecting it.

[whohaa]

@Punxsutawney don't feel guilty. You've done the best for your child so far.

[Punxsutawney]

Maybe like you say as you were expecting it then you weren't that shocked. I guess though you might feel more emotional about it at some point in the future. It might just hit you when you least expect it.

I have felt very strange going through the process with my son. I have found it quite difficult and stressful and also upsetting at times but I'm not emotional. I would really like a good cry about the whole situation but I just don't seem to be able to!

I think that it will make life easier for your son to have an early diagnosis. Much better to start school with support in place than struggle through without. I'm sure your DH will see it as more of a positive as time goes on, it could just be his way of processing the information you were given at the appointment.