1st time poster so please be nice.
Just wanted to share my experiences and add my voice to the growing number of parents who have become disheartened and appalled by the treatment of our kids in mainstream.
Yes, there will be lots of parents who want to sing the praises of their child's school and the support they give. Fantastic, I'm pleased for you all, but unfortunately this is not the experience of increasing numbers of parents who are at their wits end, fighting a system which is geared up to support the LA.
As background, my DD is 17 and in December we took our LA to the SEND Tribunal against B, F and I. My DD has moderate physical and learning difficulties and autism. Due to her needs being consistently overlooked despite an EHCP her mental health nosedived and she started self harming and refusing to attend. We decided that enough was enough and sought a move to a residential independent placement.
Thankfully the Tribunal agreed with us and she now has her place!!
What I want to get from this post is to offer advice to all the parents who read this and are just starting on their journey.
My DD struggled all the way through school. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know to fight harder for her during the early years. I knew she needed fuller assessments when she about 7, but I allowed the school and professionals she saw to sway me into thinking everything would be ok. It never was and she lost out on years of a proper education, despite having a 25 hr Statement in place before even starting Infants.
I never knew what questions to ask and when to demand to be taken seriously. I didn't know what my rights were and that there were options. I trusted those who I thought knew the system and would guide me through it. Now I'm cynical about everything and everyone. The system is designed to keep you at arm's reach and only the most determined will survive.
What would I tell myself to do if I could rewind 10 years?
Listen to nobody. Trust my own judgement. As a parent you know your child best, but that won't count for diddly squat when things get bad. You need evidence! Get anal about record keeping!
If you have a meeting, even a brief chat with the class teacher, email your understanding of the conversation to the teacher afterwards to minute that it even took place. Keep a copy of every letter/email you send. Every request for assessment. Every conversation at parents evening. Don't discuss your child at all with anyone without ensuring it is documented in some way, and what actions were agreed and timescales to see progress.
You may not want or need to go anywhere near as far as we have, but I never knew this would be our future when DD was 5,9,11 etc
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. SEN budgets will only continue to be more and more squeezed. If you don't fight for your child no-one else will! If your child is struggling now, the situation is likely to worsen as they get older and the pressures are ramped up. Take action now. If you never need the evidence you collect then great, but it is hard to look back with the benefit of hindsight and reproach yourself for not taking action sooner. The System will tell you as many lies as it thinks it can get away with. Don't let it fob you off like I did.
Took luck with all your journeys.
Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.
SEN
Took on Tribunal and won!
Survivor18 · 13/02/2019 00:16
Survivor18 · 13/02/2019 00:16
1st time poster so please be nice.
Just wanted to share my experiences and add my voice to the growing number of parents who have become disheartened and appalled by the treatment of our kids in mainstream.
Yes, there will be lots of parents who want to sing the praises of their child's school and the support they give. Fantastic, I'm pleased for you all, but unfortunately this is not the experience of increasing numbers of parents who are at their wits end, fighting a system which is geared up to support the LA.
As background, my DD is 17 and in December we took our LA to the SEND Tribunal against B, F and I. My DD has moderate physical and learning difficulties and autism. Due to her needs being consistently overlooked despite an EHCP her mental health nosedived and she started self harming and refusing to attend. We decided that enough was enough and sought a move to a residential independent placement.
Thankfully the Tribunal agreed with us and she now has her place!!
What I want to get from this post is to offer advice to all the parents who read this and are just starting on their journey.
My DD struggled all the way through school. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know to fight harder for her during the early years. I knew she needed fuller assessments when she about 7, but I allowed the school and professionals she saw to sway me into thinking everything would be ok. It never was and she lost out on years of a proper education, despite having a 25 hr Statement in place before even starting Infants.
I never knew what questions to ask and when to demand to be taken seriously. I didn't know what my rights were and that there were options. I trusted those who I thought knew the system and would guide me through it. Now I'm cynical about everything and everyone. The system is designed to keep you at arm's reach and only the most determined will survive.
What would I tell myself to do if I could rewind 10 years?
Listen to nobody. Trust my own judgement. As a parent you know your child best, but that won't count for diddly squat when things get bad. You need evidence! Get anal about record keeping!
If you have a meeting, even a brief chat with the class teacher, email your understanding of the conversation to the teacher afterwards to minute that it even took place. Keep a copy of every letter/email you send. Every request for assessment. Every conversation at parents evening. Don't discuss your child at all with anyone without ensuring it is documented in some way, and what actions were agreed and timescales to see progress.
You may not want or need to go anywhere near as far as we have, but I never knew this would be our future when DD was 5,9,11 etc
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. SEN budgets will only continue to be more and more squeezed. If you don't fight for your child no-one else will! If your child is struggling now, the situation is likely to worsen as they get older and the pressures are ramped up. Take action now. If you never need the evidence you collect then great, but it is hard to look back with the benefit of hindsight and reproach yourself for not taking action sooner. The System will tell you as many lies as it thinks it can get away with. Don't let it fob you off like I did.
Took luck with all your journeys.
longwaittobeseen · 26/10/2022 14:17
Hi, thanks for sharing, my daughter is only 7 we just won tribunal for EOTAS early this year and it is going strong. We used an advocate as couldn't afford solicitors. Me being me, was searching high schools and residential and couldn't find any girls residential in my search. My plan is to reintegrate back into school in secondary but am also considering residential as well
Survivor18 · 13/02/2019 00:16
1st time poster so please be nice.
Just wanted to share my experiences and add my voice to the growing number of parents who have become disheartened and appalled by the treatment of our kids in mainstream.
Yes, there will be lots of parents who want to sing the praises of their child's school and the support they give. Fantastic, I'm pleased for you all, but unfortunately this is not the experience of increasing numbers of parents who are at their wits end, fighting a system which is geared up to support the LA.
As background, my DD is 17 and in December we took our LA to the SEND Tribunal against B, F and I. My DD has moderate physical and learning difficulties and autism. Due to her needs being consistently overlooked despite an EHCP her mental health nosedived and she started self harming and refusing to attend. We decided that enough was enough and sought a move to a residential independent placement.
Thankfully the Tribunal agreed with us and she now has her place!!
What I want to get from this post is to offer advice to all the parents who read this and are just starting on their journey.
My DD struggled all the way through school. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know to fight harder for her during the early years. I knew she needed fuller assessments when she about 7, but I allowed the school and professionals she saw to sway me into thinking everything would be ok. It never was and she lost out on years of a proper education, despite having a 25 hr Statement in place before even starting Infants.
I never knew what questions to ask and when to demand to be taken seriously. I didn't know what my rights were and that there were options. I trusted those who I thought knew the system and would guide me through it. Now I'm cynical about everything and everyone. The system is designed to keep you at arm's reach and only the most determined will survive.
What would I tell myself to do if I could rewind 10 years?
Listen to nobody. Trust my own judgement. As a parent you know your child best, but that won't count for diddly squat when things get bad. You need evidence! Get anal about record keeping!
If you have a meeting, even a brief chat with the class teacher, email your understanding of the conversation to the teacher afterwards to minute that it even took place. Keep a copy of every letter/email you send. Every request for assessment. Every conversation at parents evening. Don't discuss your child at all with anyone without ensuring it is documented in some way, and what actions were agreed and timescales to see progress.
You may not want or need to go anywhere near as far as we have, but I never knew this would be our future when DD was 5,9,11 etc
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. SEN budgets will only continue to be more and more squeezed. If you don't fight for your child no-one else will! If your child is struggling now, the situation is likely to worsen as they get older and the pressures are ramped up. Take action now. If you never need the evidence you collect then great, but it is hard to look back with the benefit of hindsight and reproach yourself for not taking action sooner. The System will tell you as many lies as it thinks it can get away with. Don't let it fob you off like I did.
Took luck with all your journeys.
Thatsnotmycar · 28/10/2022 19:53
I hope EOTAS is going well, but in case you revisit schools in the future there are several coed school that have boarding for girls e.g. several of Cavendish, Acorn, Aurora, Witherslack, Aspris schools as well as Alderwasley Hall and Brentwood school. And Limpsfield Grange is girls only.
longwaittobeseen · 26/10/2022 14:17
Hi, thanks for sharing, my daughter is only 7 we just won tribunal for EOTAS early this year and it is going strong. We used an advocate as couldn't afford solicitors. Me being me, was searching high schools and residential and couldn't find any girls residential in my search. My plan is to reintegrate back into school in secondary but am also considering residential as well
Survivor18 · 13/02/2019 00:16
1st time poster so please be nice.
Just wanted to share my experiences and add my voice to the growing number of parents who have become disheartened and appalled by the treatment of our kids in mainstream.
Yes, there will be lots of parents who want to sing the praises of their child's school and the support they give. Fantastic, I'm pleased for you all, but unfortunately this is not the experience of increasing numbers of parents who are at their wits end, fighting a system which is geared up to support the LA.
As background, my DD is 17 and in December we took our LA to the SEND Tribunal against B, F and I. My DD has moderate physical and learning difficulties and autism. Due to her needs being consistently overlooked despite an EHCP her mental health nosedived and she started self harming and refusing to attend. We decided that enough was enough and sought a move to a residential independent placement.
Thankfully the Tribunal agreed with us and she now has her place!!
What I want to get from this post is to offer advice to all the parents who read this and are just starting on their journey.
My DD struggled all the way through school. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know to fight harder for her during the early years. I knew she needed fuller assessments when she about 7, but I allowed the school and professionals she saw to sway me into thinking everything would be ok. It never was and she lost out on years of a proper education, despite having a 25 hr Statement in place before even starting Infants.
I never knew what questions to ask and when to demand to be taken seriously. I didn't know what my rights were and that there were options. I trusted those who I thought knew the system and would guide me through it. Now I'm cynical about everything and everyone. The system is designed to keep you at arm's reach and only the most determined will survive.
What would I tell myself to do if I could rewind 10 years?
Listen to nobody. Trust my own judgement. As a parent you know your child best, but that won't count for diddly squat when things get bad. You need evidence! Get anal about record keeping!
If you have a meeting, even a brief chat with the class teacher, email your understanding of the conversation to the teacher afterwards to minute that it even took place. Keep a copy of every letter/email you send. Every request for assessment. Every conversation at parents evening. Don't discuss your child at all with anyone without ensuring it is documented in some way, and what actions were agreed and timescales to see progress.
You may not want or need to go anywhere near as far as we have, but I never knew this would be our future when DD was 5,9,11 etc
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. SEN budgets will only continue to be more and more squeezed. If you don't fight for your child no-one else will! If your child is struggling now, the situation is likely to worsen as they get older and the pressures are ramped up. Take action now. If you never need the evidence you collect then great, but it is hard to look back with the benefit of hindsight and reproach yourself for not taking action sooner. The System will tell you as many lies as it thinks it can get away with. Don't let it fob you off like I did.
Took luck with all your journeys.
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