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Advise re next steps after Aspergers and ADHD diagnosis

(8 Posts)
Abbott10 Sun 28-May-17 07:53:18

Hi all, my 3 year old boy (August birthday so starts school in September) has been diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD. It was a privately diagnosis after his nursery spoke to us to advise things they had priced that pointe sto him being on the spectrum - being excluded by his peer group, not being able to sit/listen, not knowing how to play with others, having very narrow interests etc... his speech/vocabulary is great but his conversational skills not so good.

We are now really unsure what to do next, who to contact, what to do re schools etc... and would appreciate any advise.

The teachers seem to think he is very bright (the brightest in his class according to them) but he social awkwardness/differences are really starting to show within his peer group.

Specifically regarding schools we are wondering if sending him to an independent or state school would be best? We wonder if he would benefit from smaller class sizes, better sports etc or if state school and possible extra support would be more beneficial?

I have no experience of neurological conditions and /or SEN. Do children of 3 that have been diagnosed and areseemingly high performing/not at the extreme end of the spectrum tend to get worse or is his behaviour now an indication of the fact he will stay at the lower end of the spectrum?

Any advise /help welcome... we just want to do the best by our child and give him the best support/intervention as we can but we don't really know where to start.

Littlemen2 Mon 29-May-17 17:39:27

Hi, when you say a private diagnosis do you mean that you didn't go through your GP? The reason im asking this as you may have to go through the whole process again via your GP who may refer you to CAHMS. As sometimes a private diagnosis isn't recognised by some schools. The National Autistic Society are so helpful and there will be a local NAS in your area who you could contact. My son is now 15. He was diagnoised at the age of 5. He was very laid back when he got his diagnosis (he still is) but used to jump and flap his arms. He preferred to talk to the teachers than his peers and played on his own. He used to talk at length about certain things he was interested in. He attended a state mainstream school. Which i think was the best thing for him. He didn't have a statement (EHC plan) as he had no behavioural problems and wasn't behind his peers academically. He is now 15 at a state Grammar school. He no longer flaps,is managing to organise himself (which is something i never thought he would be able to do) and hangs out with a few friends at lunchtime in school. The school have been fantastic, nothing has been to much trouble. He has slow processing so they have arranged extra time in his GCSE's. He is very bright in the top sets for everything. Your son sounds similar, i know he is very young at the moment but Grammar School's have lots of children on the spectrum and are used to children with ASD. I would look around local state schools first and ask to speak to their SENCO. Even tho private schools have smaller classes sometimes their knowledge of SEN can be very poor. I hope this helps.

Abbott10 Wed 31-May-17 14:19:55

THanks for your reply, its reassuring to read your message and does help with our decision making process.. At the moment we only have the private diagnosis. We are waiting to see the NHS community paediatrician but the waiting list is approx 4-5 months. From your username , I assume you have 2 boys. If that's the case does your other boy have any SEn/learning difficulties? I also have an 18 month old and whilst he isn't showing any signs that worry me I'm obviously concerned that he could have the same issues as my 3 year old also didn't really show signs at his age. Would you also mind me asking what borough you are in as it sound she like there are good primary and grammar schools in your area. We are currently thinking of moving as it appears the funding/support in the area has really diminished and continues to do so. They are planning on completely scrapping diagnosing children with ASD and saying it's just something parents should deal with - shocking I know!
Thank you

Littlemen2 Wed 31-May-17 15:06:09

Hi, we are in the Bexley area. My other son is 8 and he doesn't have ASD or any other difficulties. It is a long process i know, and the waiting lists just get longer and longer. I purchased a book called Autism Spectrum Disorders by Chantal-Sicile-Kira very helpful and i have lent it to several people over the years, who have all said the same. Due to my son not having an statement/EHC plan he wasn't given any support at primary school. He just had an IEP which was revised termly. He was visited by our local ASD team at various times through primary school and they were very helpful. The best way to start is by speaking to the SENCO at the primary schools. The SEN can vary at schools. If you need any further info you can inbox me. Good luck.

Abbott10 Wed 31-May-17 15:39:51

THank you. I will order a copy of the book. Really appreciate your advise and the offer for support. I'm also really pleased to hear your other son doesn't have any difficulties as I had read the chance of siblings having the same condition us higher. I will inbox you when I gather my thoughts... thanks again!

Littlemen2 Wed 31-May-17 18:11:11

Your wellcome.

waterhorse123 Sun 11-Jun-17 09:42:55

Hi, my son with late diagnosed ASD went both to private and state schools and we were not impressed by either. Private schools have an SEN specialist who generally knows a little about several problems but not a lot about any. They couldn't cope with our son. State schools likewise were useless despite having an ASD unit (only for new entrants in year 7) and ended up putting our son in Inclusion (SEN space) to study by himself unsupervised. You can imagine how well that one went. We took him out of school and he is currently doing his GCSEs as a private candidate. I don't think most schools are up to much with ASD kids.

Imaginosity Mon 19-Jun-17 20:59:18

Please watch this video if you get a chance - m.youtube.com/watch?v=B-xgdqNtcDI
DS's psychologist recommended it to me after DS was diagnosed and it made things seem less overwhelming. It shows social skills cam be learnt to some extent.

This is also good
www.theguardian.com/global/video/2017/jun/14/when-saffron-opens-her-world-its-amazing-video

I also found this book good
www.bookdepository.com/Max-Me-Ines-Lawlor/9781855036161

Your son sounds quite like my DS1 who is age 7. My DS still has issues but is coping well in school now but does need help as he sometimes gets upset about things etc. He's happy going in everyday. He still tends to play alone and only joins in with play when he is interested in what the others are doing. The school are working on his social skills all the time. The other children seem to like him and are used to him ignoring them at times and make allowances for him.

Can't advise about schools as we're not in the UK.

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