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Advice needed on how to talk to DD about her possible SEN

(11 Posts)
Qwertie Tue 17-Jan-17 19:41:50

My DD is nearly 6; ever since she was about 2.5 I have been trying to get some SALT for her. She was not 'bad' enough to have therapy, but we were referred to audiology & to a paediatric surgeon to check for tongue tie. Crazy waste of money on unnecessary referrals and never the help she needed. Her voculabulary is now very good and she is fairly easy to understand. However, she is quite behind her classmates and her writing is pretty illegible. She has some coordination difficulties, which are noticible in jumping, running, on stairs etc.
Before Xmas I talked to her teacher about these issues as DD has been getting upset and obviously confused about why the effort she's putting in is not coming out in the right results.
I want to take her to the GP to talk about this as she also has trouble sleeping, which I've realised on reading more, may also be linked.
My question is; how can I talk to DD about this and explain why we are seeing the GP? I don't want her to think there is something wrong with her, but I want her to know there may be a good reason that things aren't going right for her.
Her emotional intelligence is quite amazing and she picks up on the smallest nuances in what people are saying & how they are behaving.
Any advice would be really appreciated.

NWgirls Fri 20-Jan-17 22:36:37

Sorry you have no responses - you can try reposting in e.g primary education, or education/education.

No great advice from me to your question, but it sounds like you will do it well given how conscious of this you are.

An alternative or additional path is to go to the school's SENCO (who you perhaps have spoken with already?), describe the challenges and ask if an OT referral to investigate dyspraxia/motor issues etc would make sense.

One of my DDs had an OT assessment (fine motor and handwriting issues) which was very useful and actually quite pleasant. The school arranged this (without any GP involvement). The OT was highly experienced in how to assess young kids in a friendly, fun and positive way - which helped my DD take it all in her stride.

Good luck!

Velvian Sat 21-Jan-17 10:31:32

Thanks NW. I have spoken with DDs teacher who was speaking with the SENCO & she will feed back to me at parents' eve in a couple of weeks.
Apparently Dyspraxia is not a term that it used anymore, as this was my thought. I'm feeling quite cynical at the moment & thinking that perhaps the removals of this & other diagnoses is a money saving exercise.
Since talking to the teacher, I think she has been pushing DD a bit more in the classroom as DD is more anxious at school & no longer seems to like this teacher (she does have another teacher that job shares)
I've had similar conversions with DDs reception & nursery teachers, although then it was more speech related as writing wasn't such an apprentice issue at that age.
I really appreciate your response, it helps to talk to anyone. :-)

Velvian Sat 21-Jan-17 10:32:54

Apparent not apprentice!

Velvian Sat 21-Jan-17 10:47:57

Oops, forgot I name changed since op.blush

NWgirls Sat 21-Jan-17 11:45:07

Thanks, OP.

I think you need to be firm (whilst remaining friendly and constructive) and also schedule a face-to-face meeting with your SENCO - just call the school and request this.

In advance of that I would also try to find out more about the SENCO and his/her relevant background, and also speak with parents you think might have had contact with the SENCO (e.g. with dyslexic, autistic or ADHD kids) to get their advice about how to be taken seriously and get appropriate assessments and interventions.

SENCOs vary dramatically in their knowledge and willingness to help - as do class teachers... You need the best help you can get from both of them, and often you need to ask/push quite loudly/clearly to get support. Also prepare yourself for having to put your requests in writing to get anything to happen as schools can be great at fobbing off mere talk so may want to read their SEND policy and take note of dates/content of your conversations etc.

Of course you can hear what the class teacher has to say in two weeks as well - but it sounds like he/she is being at most moderately helpful to date...

Toomanycats99 Sat 21-Jan-17 11:56:43

My dd age 5 in y1 has possible dyspraxia. Main issues being terrible hand writing and very uncoordinated, always falling over. Also cannot do buttons etc very easily. I actually went via gp first with list of my concerns they referred me to consultant. I then spoke to school just before appointment and they were very supportive. They wrote a letter to consultant backing up things from their side. Been referred to OT but got around a 6 month wait. She now has intervention at school for fine motor skills to help with writing - has that been offered? They also call it development coordination delay I think now. Once we have seen the OT the consultant said they will advise whether it is dyspraxia or just a general motor skills delay. She is currently around 12 months behind.

NWgirls Sat 21-Jan-17 12:00:20

Toomany: Great to hear that the GP route can also be fruitful!

Toomanycats99 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:25:22

Just realised I didnt really answer the question - she knows that she falls over and that her handwriting isn't great so I just said we were going to see a doctor about it. If you do get referred be aware my appointment was about 1.5 hours which I wasn't expecting - they had her running up and down the corridors and stairs at the hospital which she thought was a game. Re school she was positive about the intervention. Some others in her class already had intervention for other things so she just said oh I'll see a nice lady like 'x' does to help her. Fine motor skills intervention is things like threading and tweezers. It's like Friday afternoon games for her!

Toomanycats99 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:27:43

One other thing........I don't know what area you are in but I was told in my area they don't do new OT Referrals from age 6 so you may want to try and get things moving sooner rather than later - that might just be my area though.

Gagalady23 Thu 02-Feb-17 23:41:56

Yes I had that situation with my son. Perhaps you can say that you can see she is finding a few things a bit tricky and you are going to take her to the doctor to have a bit of a chat about it. Best not make the whole thing sound too heavy. Then have a list when you go the the doctors. In my experience doctors are are best at basic illness not conditions so say that what you think the problem is eg Dyspraxia for example and also say it's affecting her at school. Doctors are supposed to help kids achieve their potential at school it's part of their job.

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