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Behaviours only really seen at home...

3 replies

Nottheshrinkingcapgrandpa · 19/10/2016 20:43

Just after some advice really. My eldest child (year 4) has always been quite shy at school, hates loud chatting and noise in the classroom and When they come home, spend time upset thinking that everyone is laughing at them.

However at home when there is a little thing that upsets them, it can turn very quickly and they can have a full on angry melt down where they throw things, try to hurt themselves and repeatedly tells us that they don't deserve anything good, or that they want to hurt the self (think hitting themselves with a fist on their chest over and over again). We've noticed the beginnings of social anxiety too with regards to worrying all the time what other people think of them. Today for the first time I saw tics ( in the form of repeated blinking) - they didn't realise that they were doing it and they started before today's meltdown.

Any advice from anyone who's been through something similar? My partner wants to watch and wait for a while (our child has a melt down 2-3timesper month) but I'm really not sure what to do for the best.

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Fanjango · 24/10/2016 22:16

Being honest here I'd ask the school SENCO for advise and a referral to the paediatric team. They sound very much like my son. His anxiety continued to grow and he was referred. I don't know what the times are in your area but it's taken over a year to get to full testing for ASD and my son is now in year 7. And a full school refuser. Currently waiting referral to a specialist unit as he managed only 3 days at huge academy. If there are concerns the sooner they are seen the better. Year four doesn't give you much time, even though it seems there's plenty. Make a note of all the things you have noticed. Keep note of dates and details of events so you remember what you need to discuss when you see the SENCO and doctors. Good luck

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PigPigTrotters · 24/10/2016 22:20

We've been through similar with ds1 and 2, both masked and managed at school, then let rip at home!
It can be tricky if school can't see anything, but hopefully they'll be aware of the coke bottle effect (stress adding up - bottle being shaken - throughout the day, get home, take the lid off and woooosh!)
There might be hints you can do at home, predictable routine after school to help your DC wind down