Help with ASD daughter aged five

[strawberryblondebint]

Hi. My littlest child (DD2) was diagnosed with autism just before her 5th birthday. We have accepted the diagnosis and she is doing amazingly well. Started school. Coping wonderfully. Behaviour at school excellent. However for a while now she has been going through a stage where pink is her favourite colour. She will only wear school uniform and pink clothes. She won't wear a school cardigan as it is blue. This is fine. We can manage.
The hurtful part is she keeps saying she doesn't like boys and will only play with girls. Not really a problem however she keeps excluding her ten year old brother. He dotes on her and they have always had a lovely relationship. Now she takes her big sisters side against him and won't let him join in games she previously loved playing wifh him. He is really hurt however it's hard for her to understand that. Doesn't help that dd1 (12) winds him up as well.
How can I get her out of this phase!! I'm sick of pink. I hate boys toys and girls toys. I'm hurting for her poor ignored brother. Help.

[1potato2potato3potato4]

I think you're focusing on the wrong child. DD3 is the same she doesn't like boys apparently although I'm not sure where that's come from and will always side with dd1 over dd2, only thing that helped was having baby DS!
I would ignore DD's preferences and focus on supporting DS and helping him.

[joanne90]

Hi there! I also have dd7 who has ASD. This extreme gender association is common amongst ASD children, my daughter was very similar at that age, I simply ignored it and she grew out of it!
Best of luck!

[strawberryblondebint]

It has a name. Thanks so much it. It helps when I have a name for something. I do help her brother loads. I just feel for him when he actually wants to join in in play and a five year old is rejecting him. I had been trying to correct her. But new strategy. I will ignore it. Thanks.

[joanne90]

Well if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me, in all honesty I can find it lonely and isolating sometimes, especially when a lot of people don't understand DDs condition.
Best of luck

[strawberryblondebint]

Thanks Joanne. I will bear that in mind. Weekend has been tough

[pAEv]

Hi. Have you tried to create social story about her brother. As a first part try to devise a story about all members of your family - you, your other children. Then something like there is a home we are living in together and that she has a brother. Deffinitely don't force her accept that she had a brother but just a story. Don't worry about the pink, however sickening it can be for you. If she has autism then I think it's not about bad feelings towards her brother but for some reason this feeling and attitude has become part of her routine. She just follows her routine and sticks with it as it keeps her safe so to speak. I may be mistaken thoughbof course. Anyway perhaps it would help.