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Advice needed.. feel so frustrated..

(2 Posts)
Confuzled24 Mon 06-Jun-16 20:48:16

I'm feeling very frustrated and unsure where to turn or what to do next.. sorry this is so long, but please bear with me..

My son is on the SEN register and has been since year 2.. He has never had a statement or EHC plan (though I have tried twice for an EHC. And the school were cross that I applied for a EHC)..
Back in early 2015, we were asigned a primary mental healthcare worker (PMHW) with regards to my son (now 11).. he was struggling (and has been since year 1) at school in English (reading and spelling) with a reading age of 7 (he was 10 at the time), his behaviour at home went downhill with angry outbursts/meltdowns (and being agressive when angry), and his bedtimes got later as he struggled to said i off at night despite a regular routine at bedtine.. The PMHW thought a VIG intervention would be a good idea so she arranged that. The result 6 sessions later being, 'your sons loves you and you are a good parent'.. kind of helpful but not addressing the issues concerned.. So she suggested a CAF, and a TAC was opened in October 2015. The family lead worker was assigned and we had that chap until Xmas 2015, three weeks prior to Xmas hols my son refused school for 3 weeks the family lead basically threatened me and my son re him not being at school i.e. if you don't go you and your mum will be in trouble.. this escalated the problem and my son eventually returned to school I Jan this year. The Family lead worker was a nightmare so much so that along with other complaints logged against him and an investigation, he was dismissed in January.. so that was no help.. I was assigned a new family lead in February.. She seemed pretty switched on, empathetic and friendly. She went through everything with great detail and said she would be having 6 sessions with my boys in feb-apr (before the next TAC meeting in April).. Lovely as she is, she only had 1 session with them in march then one email before the next TAC.. she has had 2 more sessions since then with no feedback, no further meetings and we are now arriving at the 3rd TAC meeting this Friday!! My son I the meantime has had 2 weeks off with school refusal and refused to go in today having had half term.. I don't know what's going on in his head, or at school?? I tried to work out a contigentcy plan with the school before half term in case the school refusal continued but they said to wait until after half term?? They don't appear to care until it affects their 'league tables'..
I've been in regular contact via email to the PMHW, the family lead worker, the school but they respond with we need to meet with you and then I hear nothing more until I email again and they say and do the same thing again!!! I've taken my son to the doctors who said if he's getting anxious then it may well cause 'stomach' migraines and headaches and result in frustration and anger.. they can't refer to child development because it will just be referred back to the TAC process whilst it is still open. And even if the TAC is not open, they still need the school's input (a letter to say further help is needed!)..
I don't really see where any of this is going?? I'm going round in circles, feeling frustrated and just not getting anywhere..

All I want is to be able to understand and help my son, I don't feel that's much to ask..

So I thought I would post to see if anyone has gone through a similar experience? And if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom that may help?

Minkeymook Mon 06-Jun-16 23:06:54

Yes sounds much like my youngest who is now 11 and only last year got diagnosis of ASD. Go to your GP. Get referred to child development centre at your local hospital or GOSH if you can get there. CAMHs are rubbish and don't have expertise to assess for anything other than behavioural, they need to look at triggers - the cause and not the behaviours!! My so was excluded from many schools, ended up in PRU then finally assessed last year now in specialist autism school and is like a different child, you have legal right to ask and get second opinion. Also IPSEA is good helpline, contact a family, young minds and local parent partnership don't bother with school unless SENcO is extremely experienced as most of them don't know the difference between ADd and ADHD let alone more complex issues!!
Good luck. It's just about finding right professional who can help you and sign post you to right help.

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