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What to do

(9 Posts)
Ataloss14 Sat 27-Feb-16 16:18:33

NC as ds knows my username.

Ds nearly 14 has never been diagnosed but has, more than likely, dyslexia, dysgraphia and ADHD. He is summer born so when he went to school in reception there were at least 2 children who were walking and talking before he was even born.

In Reception and year 1 he could not get a grip of learning anything. By the time he was in year 2 everyone else had learnt to read and write and the lessons were way beyond what he was capable of and it has been downhill since then. Rather than getting him diagnosed the school held a wait and see policy then as he was leaving past the problem on to his next school.

Senior school was just awful. I went along to the first parents evening expecting to talk about his work but the focus seemed to be on the fact he had been ill for 2 days at the beginning of the term. He had been at school on time everyday since then. To actually talk to anyone about getting him diagnosed with his suspected dyslexia and dysgraphia was impossible. everything he had learnt was disappearing

I pulled him out and HE him up untill now. He is now reading books, he is doing well in maths and science and trying to stay on par with his peers in school but he is finding it increasingly difficult. I sometimes feel he is playing a game of catch up trying to climb an escalator whilst the stairs are moving downwards.

Which brings me to our latest issue. We found a school that had a drama course which he loves. (Because he didn't learn to read fluently until last year he has developed the ability to be able to learn huge monologues within a few minutes) however we are out of area and it was a 1/200 chance of getting on that course. Their was another course at the same school which focussed on computers, another love of ds's which had an almost guaranteed place on the course as it was so undersubscribed. It looked like a no brainier as he would still get to do drama at the school as a lesson although not as his main focus.
The computer course in all the literature was described as something which catered for beginners. On the day the course name had changed since he applied and apart from it now being an art and design course on computers judging by the questions it is definitely not for beginners.

Is it too late for my ds to actually go back to school. The interview knocked his confidence and I am left wondering how to help him. Any one know of any good drama courses in schools in S/SE London or Home Counties.

I have tried to get him diagnosed myself but I have come up against a brick wall of if I HE I cannot refer him to an Ed Psych that has to come from a school but schools won't refer him. I have over the years spoken to other mums who have found the same problem so I know it is not just me

Congratulations if you have got this far.

LIZS Sun 28-Feb-16 12:56:45

Can you afford a private assessment? Is an independent school an option or a state boarding (even on a day basis). Are there any fe colleges locally which cater for 14-16s as they tend to cater for the more vocationally orientated?

Ataloss14 Tue 01-Mar-16 06:12:20

I can afford a private assessment but in the area we are in you cannot get an Ed Psych unless the school recommend it and when he has been to school there has been a reluctance to put him forward. Now he is HE then there is no chance of him being able to get an assessment, as he doesn't have a school to recommend him.

We are in a position that we could afford to send him to a private school but any good ones require an entrance exam that he wouldn't be able to do or the odd ones that don't are not worth the money, (likely to shut mid term due to bankruptcy).

The school he was trying to get in was a fe college starting at year 10. All the courses say they are for people with a passion for that subject but when you get to the interview and workshop it is for people who have studied the subject in depth since they were 4. One of the questions he was asked was would he be able to build a computer? Not in my mind a question for a complete beginner.

I get the feeling that he has missed out on school and mixing with his peers as he is now so far behind that schools don't want him and dont want to teach him. We thought the school he went for, at least would have one subject where everyone was a beginner but they didn't want beginners they wanted people who were already making a living out of the industry. Having spoken to other parents who were waiting a lot had actually sold designs already

I am at a complete loss as to what to do.

LIZS Tue 01-Mar-16 08:31:29

Really? Can you not self refer to an Ed Psych . There is a directory which I'll find the details of. It may well not be one the LA use but you would probably have more control over the assessment and report.

LIZS Tue 01-Mar-16 08:45:19 has a search facility.

LIZS Tue 01-Mar-16 16:21:38


Ataloss14 Wed 02-Mar-16 23:59:09

Sorry had a lot to tend to so haven't been around a lot.

The lists are what I found when I was going through something similar with dc1. When I phoned a couple of the Ed Psychs there was a reluctance to test as the instruction was supposed to be through the school not by someone just randomly calling.

I have a friend who lives in a different part of the country and she had her Ds tested privately. No one mentioned anything to her that she could only proceed if the school had said she could.

Dc1 was eventually tested at nearly 15 when the school called the EP in themselves.

Regardless of what his test results say I feel that he has missed the boat educationally. The school which he interviewed for, even for a course which their website and all their literature made out was for those that wanted to learn a particular subject turned out was for pupils who had already studied the subject to a very high standard.

Whilst I understand that a subject is taught to a particular year group at that year groups accepted level, what happens if your child is way below that particular level and has no way of catching up because no one is able to teach him at the lower level.

For an example Ds at the moment is learning French with an on line school. Ds has never learnt French before so everything is going completely over his head as he is in a class with children who have studied French since year 6. The beginners classes he has missed and so he is floundering not being able to understand what is going on.

Because he only just learnt to read fluently last year he is behind in every subject. That is why we were so disappointed that the course he thought was going to be for beginners turned out not to be. He was looking forward to not being behind in a class.

littleducks Thu 03-Mar-16 00:16:41

I might be being dim bit can you not contact a private Ed Psych who is not quite so local to you?

Ataloss14 Thu 03-Mar-16 11:54:54

Finally persuaded my Dr to refer him. To give you some idea of his problems with reading and writing for his Sats he got a 1 in English but a level 6 in maths.

Never even occurred to me to try someone out of area.

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