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private school & development delay child

(9 Posts)
Kanga59 Sun 29-Nov-15 14:49:22

my son is two and will be starting pre-nursery next term at a private school. I would like him to go to school there because it is a wonderful school and my other children currently attend.

I am concerned about my youngest son who has mild development delay owing to an underlying medical condition. I am concerned about how he will be treated by the school. There is already talk of SEN involvement. I don't want his school career to be filled with informal assessment. I just want him to be left alone to develop at his own pace without contact pressure on me to be doing x,y,z.

is there anyone with experience of a mild development delay child in private school who can share experience. thank you

Kanga59 Sun 29-Nov-15 14:50:04

Sorry that should have said CONSTANT pressure

Flanks Mon 30-Nov-15 08:24:08

Hi Kanga

At pre-nursery I would not expect there to be any concerns, at this level it would be expected for their to be wide variations in children's development. Therefore, your little one should not be noticed unless they have serious concerns, in which case I suspect you would wish to know!

Assuming they are completing their assessments, as they would for any young person, you will be able to observe his development in his new environment and raise issues if you wish.

If you are concerned about what you should say (if anything) when he starts, I would recommend you make sure they are aware of his early difficulties, but emphasise that he is catching up and you want to let things happen naturally. By making them aware, you will head off a lot of the concerns you currently have, because they will know there is a reason for any delay and be happier to let things develop on their own.

SleepyForest Mon 30-Nov-15 08:27:18

Have you considered holding back a year? It worked very well for our family.

WildStallions Mon 30-Nov-15 08:30:43

Flanks - the child has 'mild developmental delay'. That is a medical term. Ie he is already well behind where he should be. The OP doesn't need school to tell her that. She already knows it.

OP - all schools are different. You really need to raise it with them. But it is a very tricky one. If the rest of the class are learning to read, and he isn't how do you want them to approach it?

Because while you don't want him to be pressured to do something he's not ready for. I'm sure you don't want him to be ignored either.

And your thoughts on all this might change over time as he changes......

Kanga59 Mon 30-Nov-15 09:10:30

Thank you for all your replies and thoughts, they are all helpful.

I would like him to start pre-nursery ASAP because I'm sure it will only help his development. I would be happy for him to repeat nursery year if needed, thus being held back.

I guess I need to understand the schools expectations of children better..

Good point about my expectations wild stallion. They have already changed so much! My initial goal was for him to live to age 2 and we are six weeks away from that. My second goal was for him to get to age 10 and have a nice life including a cuddly prep-school and I didn't care about achievement. But yes I can see myself having higher aspirations for him as he gets older, especially if he continues to defy the odds and do so well!

katieskitchentable Sun 20-Dec-15 23:47:10

Just found this thread. I am interested in this discussion in terms of SEN and private schools.
I have a 3 year old girl who has just been diagnosed with ASD, her main issue being speech delay. I am agonising with the best school for her. I am concerned a mainstream school will be just too busy for her and perhaps a smaller prep school may be better. That said I am concerned she will stick out more in such an environment as its smaller with high expectations. Does anyone have experience of SEN in the private system and also what if any SEN associated financial implications?
Many thanks

Clobbered Sun 20-Dec-15 23:50:59

SEN provision varies widely in the private sector, and in some cases you are better off in the mainstream, where there is more funding available. That said, some private schools offer really excellent support for children with SEN, and don't charge anything extra either. You really need to check out your local schools individually and find out what they have to offer.

katieskitchentable Mon 21-Dec-15 00:06:02

Thank you Clobbered.
Do you know any schools with the Tunbridge Wells area that are known to be good for SEN? I understand Beechwood has a learning support department for example?
Many thanks

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