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cousin with aspergers and instant messaging.

(7 Posts)
Fettuccinecarbonara Mon 05-Oct-15 21:39:53

Please could I have some advice? I have very little experience around adults with aspergers and so would like some feedback about how best to handle my young adult cousin (aged 21).

He has aspergers, and some learning difficulties. He attended a special school and obtained qualifications, now works part time as an apprentice, and is doing very well for himself. He has a girlfriend and lives at home with his mum and older sister. I tell you all of this so that you can appreciate the kind of person he is and the support he has.

Whenever I am on Facebook he pops up in chat. Just saying hello, wondering how I am. But if I ignore him he messages 'are you there' 'I want to talk to you' 'please don't ignore me' over and over and over.

I have on occasions switched off chat, but I use it to communicate with friends and arrange work meetings. He lives far away and we don't catch up all that often. In person he's fine, but on instant messages he's a complete pain because the conversations are non-existent, but I cannot ignore him for 5 minutes.

Please can you tell me how I could (kindly) ask him to leave me alone, or give me some space whilst I talk to others as my 'I'm just sorting out work now so can't chat' kind of messages don't work.

He's a lovely lad so I don't want to cut contact, but he's driving me to distraction!

Scarletforya Mon 05-Oct-15 21:42:25

Can't you block him or make yourself invisible?

<knows nothing about Facebook>

Fettuccinecarbonara Mon 05-Oct-15 22:07:58

If I can, I'm not sure how sad I don't want to block him as I do enjoy his company, and I really don't want to upset him, or make him feel as if he is in the wrong.

Whathaveilost Mon 05-Oct-15 22:10:51

Instead of using chat can't you use group messages with your chat off?
I cant remember last time I had chat switched on in over 2 years!

jorahmormont Mon 05-Oct-15 22:13:15

If you turn off chat, you can still send messages to people, and receive them - you just won't have the green dot next to your name that says you are online.

Fettuccinecarbonara Mon 05-Oct-15 22:14:44

Oh really?! That's amazing! I assumed it meant I turned off the messaging service!

Such an easy solution! Thank you smile

Fettuccinecarbonara Mon 05-Oct-15 22:15:14

And sorry for posting in Sen when it was obviously an it question after all

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