getting angry

[frances5]

I find it really hard not to get angry with my four year old son for having no co ordination, problems with pen control and weak gross motor skills. I know I am being irrational

a) After 18 months of physio he can now run and walk about quite happily. His gait looks a bit unusual but it works and he is happy.

b) His pen control is truely dire and his teacher thinks he might need an iep. He has worse pen control than a little girl in his class who is statemented for having moderate learning difficulties.

c) In spite of being very clumpsy my son has loads of friends and doing nicely at his reading.

I feel frustrated that he is is a low literacy group inspite of the fact that he is good at reading. He can read almost any thing that is given to him phonetically and does not need pictures. Unfortunately he just cant hold a pen.

May I am a complete nutcase. I find it so frustrating at the moment. My son is a sweety pie, but I find hard not feel cross with him.

[peachygirl]

You are not a nutcase simply concerned about your child
Have you asked for a referral to an OT? you possibly can do this through school (SENCO) or the GP. They will be able to make some good suggestions, Maybe even provide equipment like pencil grips etc. (you may have to be prepared for a wait to see one)
A child in my class last year was seen by an OT and was then referred to the hand clinic.
Otherwise I would suggest you (and school) keep doing activities with him that encourage fine motor skills, not just writing (some of the children I teach (in a special school) have terrible pencil control and we do lots of different activities including 'writing'.
You could try these,
messy play - foam / cornflour creating letter shapes with different fingers, especially on the tiles on the bathroom wall at bath time. Encouraging children to write on vertical surfaces is very good as it make them use more pressure.
Play dough - making shapes, sausages, balls cubes etc,
eating small finger foods, raisins, cheerios etc
Using chalk on a chalk board again the resistance is good for developing early writig skills.
In the summer we get the children painting the walls with water, obviously no good at this time of year.
Construction toys such as lego.
An IEP may not be a bad thing It will help focus his teacher and any support assistants in class on his needs.
I hope this is of help.

[frances5]

Andrew is under the community paediatrian and we are seeing her on 14th December. The problem I have is lack of patience and my temper. As Andrew is under the child development centre its probably the quickest way to get an occupational therapist.

My son refuses to play with lego or do jigsaws. He likes play dough and I feel guilty that we dont do much messy play. All my son wants to do is role play or play with small world objects.

[flyingmum]

You sound so like me it is scary. I also have a very limited patience span and as a teacher find I have used it all up on the little darlings at school and so my own sprogs tend to get grumpy mummy syndrome (GMS). I can remember getting really wound up with my son when he was four or five because despite the fact he could remember events which happened when he was 2 he couldn't remember which way a C went. His fine motor control is so dire and he never did jigsaws or anything else. he is now 11 and we have managed to get him into a lovely school who are giving him onsite psysio and OT (he never had any!) and we have noticed HE WALKED IN A STRAIGHT LINE the other day instead of bobbing and weaving around. His handwriting is still ultra crap with wings though. Remember they can get scribes for all exams that matter now (GCSEs and Yr 9 SATS and also KS2 SATS) as long as they are bad enough. My chap also qualified for a laptop provided from county from the age of 6. I remember I used to get really embarresed at christmas time because all the rest of the class from about year 2 onwards would write their own cards in nicish but readable handwriting and DSs would still look like toddler writing or else I would 'forge' his writing. . . ! Good luck and I do now how exasperating it is when you have got this perfectly intelligent child who cannot draw, catch a ball or write their own name properly.

Best wishes.

[fuchsia0703]

Do you know I was thinking about this very thing this morning. DD is 9 with Dyspraxia. I frequently get very impatient with her because she can't do things. Other times I just do them for her because it's easier although it doesn't help her learn. I find it very hard to be patient when she gets things that are so obvious wrong even though I know she can't really help it. Then I feel like a wicked mother.