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Headteacher thinks DS has Asperger's but I'm not so sure

(5 Posts)
RuthieWhatnot Thu 16-Oct-14 21:11:40

Any advice / reassurance you have would be greatly appreciated. Feeling a bit stressed / worried / exhausted tonight.

DS is 5 and in Y1. During Reception there were a few issues with playfighting the the playground but nothing serious. Since starting Y1 this seems to have gotten worse. Yesterday DS threw a tennis racket at a little girl "Because she wouldn't stop running" and today he pulled another little girl down from a climbing frame by her legs (luckily she fell on grass and was fine).

The Headteacher asked me to come in to her office after school today and after explaining all of the above asked if I could take DS to the GP and ask for a referral to CAMHS because school think something isn't right. She suggested Asperger's, but I'm not convinced.

I think he has some of the traits, which school have obviously noticed. He is very good at maths and reading, but hates to write and has weak motor skills. He has favourite topics (normal things like dinosaurs and trains) and can talk about them at some length with adults (but not to the extreme as I've known some children with autism do). He sometimes interrupts conversations with something irrelevant that has just popped into his head. He does seem to have a problem with controlling his emotions and impulsivity and thinking through the consequences of his actions. After the incidents he doesn't seem to have much remorse / empathy.

However... DS's development has been completely normal and I have never suspected anything is wrong. My brother has CP so I have been very vigilant and wary of missed milestones, but until school no problems. DS doesn't mind changes to his routine, never has tantrums at home (though can be prone to tears in school when things don't go his way). In general at home he is a completely normal 5 year old boy.

I will take DS to GP anyway and talk through school's concerns. But am I alone in thinking this doesn't really sound like Asperger's? What else could be the problem?

Thanks x

HouseAtreides Thu 16-Oct-14 21:22:01

Hi, I can't say one way or another for your DS but I had no idea my DD2 had Asperger's until she was flagged up for further testing by her Y1 teacher. Bear in mind they see loads of different children with different behaviours. To me, she was normal but to her class teacher she had several glaring ASD markers.

HouseAtreides Thu 16-Oct-14 21:23:19

Just to add that there is no set of markers; my DD is chatty, lively and never gives me a moment's trouble.

ssmile Thu 16-Oct-14 21:31:47

I hope you get some reassurance from your GP. My nephew was diagnosed with mild aspergersabout 18mths ago. My sister has been on a jjourney of undetstanding of not telling any one to starting to understand how it effects her Son and now is trying to work though what is "normal" 6yr olds behaviour and what is the aspy. He could "grow out of" or learn to manage alot of his behaviour as he grows up (like his dad and grandad) but it has meant she os getting alot more support from school rather than just the "difficult kid" label. It maybe an opportunity to make school a happier place for your son. My nephew now gets more "quiet" sessions at school yo give him "head" space through out the daywhich helps to control his "overloading" explosion s or tears. My daughter is at the same school and year older but doesn't think he is any "different" which is real credit to the schools handling of lots of children with lots of different needs. Good luck with your journey.

WitchOfEndor Sat 13-Dec-14 19:06:44

Hi Ruthie I am in the same position as you, DSs key worker at nursery (he is 4.5) has told me that she thinks he has mild Aspergers (although said she wasn't qualified to give this diagnosis) and suggested I speak to a Health worker. It has been a bit of a bolt out of the blue to me and worrying as I don't really understand the condition at all. She has discussed her concerns with the school (he starts in January).

He is bright, and like your son is interested in the normal things like tractors, diggers and dinosaurs, talking at length about them to adults and children he knows well, he is quite shy and (apparently, as I haven't really seen this) obviously uncomfortable with close proximity of children he doesn't know well in nursery. I didn't put any importance to the shyness as I an a bit of an introvert and happy to do my own thing!

He also has a problem sitting still and not fidgeting, again, not something I require him to do often so not something I really picked up on. His key worker said that he has trouble reading social situations and will interrupt when the staff are dealing with other children, but again, all the children I know butt in without waiting! My DSil and DNiece both work in education and neither have raised any concerns to me so I am confused.

Your comments on your DS tackling other children he felt weren't behaving correctly rings a bell, DS will forthrightly tell children if they are doing something wrong, and says he is one of the teachers at nursery (after they asked him to help the new children learn the rules), but then I am the sort of person to reorganize the trolleys in the trolley park if they haven't been put in the right order (maybe I have Aspergers too!)

I'm anxious that he may be labelled as naughty because of this when he gets to school. I hope you have found that your DSs school is dealing with this well, if it turns out to be Aspergers (and hope my school can do this as well) or that it's actually nothing at all.

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