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How would you want the school to tell you your dc had additional needs?

(8 Posts)
Ducklings45 Sat 09-Mar-13 14:09:15

How would best like it approached if your child's teacher needed to tell you she thought you child might have additional learning needs?

All advice welcome, need to have a conversation with some parents next week and not sure how to tell them! I've tried broaching it before and they brushed it off as nothing.

PolterGoose Sat 09-Mar-13 22:49:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlemiss06 Mon 11-Mar-13 14:16:12

As a parent of a little girl with problems for me I think maybe the teacher talking but perhaps at the same time handing them something in writing explaining your concerns and what you plan to do to support their child

incywincyspideragain Mon 11-Mar-13 22:35:12

As a parent I'd say... Be honest but imagine how it would feel to be on the other side of the table, give them time to ask questions, ask them if they are concerned, don't forget the positives as well as the negatives and highlight both, don't be fluffy ie 'something is wrong but I can't possibly be more specific' be specific, you don't have to use labels that you aren't qualified to use but use specific examples to highlight your concerns and your incident log, explain how you are going to help and what (if anything) you'd like the parent to do
If they get emotional let them vent but don't carry on, arrange another time to meet and discuss, also let them know how to get in touch if they have more questions.

marcela55 Thu 14-Mar-13 16:06:56

I think the best way for a teacher to tell a parent is by being upfront and honest. I think this will ensure that the child is given the appropriate care as soon as possible. I find that an open communication between the school and the parent is the best situation possible. Some schools are better than others. With my sons school we were forced to get a lawyer.( ended good in the very interest of my son, it just took time. So Definitly honesty and openness between the parents and teachers is always the best way to approach this.

BlueAndRedMakePurple Sun 24-Mar-13 14:48:55

Honestly and factually.

This comes from someone who has ventured into the SN board for the first time after having just been told at parents evening that the teacher feels my DD is Dyslexic.

Is it a parents evening style meeting or a one off? If its a one off theres a good chance they'll be expecting some sort of news, if its parents evening then my DD's teacher started by talking about some of the good school work first and then started talking about reading and writing and mentioning her concerns. She had also flagged it last Nov at parents evening but at that stage had said she wanted to monitor her first. So if you have already mentioned it then recoup oin the fact you've been monitoring x,y and z and as per previous mention you feel a,b and c.

bigTillyMint Sun 24-Mar-13 14:53:44

Hopefully the teacher would have flagged-up their initial concerns previously, so that this would be a follow-up meeting to discuss what the teache had observed following the raising of initial concerns. IE, not just a massive shock!

I would also say that you need to focus on all the positives whilst making sure that the parents have taken in the concerns too. And thinking about how you would prefer to hear if it was your child.

And I agree, it is always useful to have something in writing as it can be easy for parents to forget/not get what the main issues are, and what you are all going to do about it.

tallulah Sun 24-Mar-13 15:20:13

For us it was a relief. I'd been telling GP/ HVs etc for 5 years that Dc2 wasn't NT just to be patted on the head and told I shouldn't compare him to Dc1. After half a term at school the Reception teacher, who was also the SENCO, called us in and said "I'm sorry but there is something wrong with your son". I could have kissed her. I suspect she was a bit shock by our reaction grin.

Still if these parents have brushed off previous concerns then I think you need to tell them exactly what it is you've noticed and tell them why their child is different.

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