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(14 Posts)
gillian81 Mon 21-Mar-11 22:47:32

hi ive only just joined but would like some advice ..my 11yr old son is on medication for ADHD but recently things have become really bad he is loosing his temper daily He has been kicked out of school its hard as a parent to know what to do as i feel no1 cares does any1 else have anger problems with there children ? x

walesblackbird Tue 22-Mar-11 13:56:41

My 6 year old has ADHD as well and is on medication. Not sure which medication your son is on but we found things improved when we asked for our son's to be changed. Initially he was on Equasym and had to take it morning and again at lunch time. The comedowns - which coincided with lunch time and home time were horrendous. Changing him to slow release certainly helped but, having said that, he is now in a PRU as his school simply weren't able to manage his behaviour.

Is your son receiving any support in school? Is he statemented? Does he have an IEP? Do school understand ADHD and do they know the triggers?

My son has other more complex issues as well so, for him, ADHD is just a part of it. We have no other diagnoses yet but his new teacher suspects Aspergers - we feel it's more likely to be developmental trauma.

Lolly75 Wed 27-Apr-11 15:03:42

Hi Gillian81 - my twelve year old son has ADHD and Dyslexia, he was diagnosed at 7 and started on ritalin which made a tremendous difference to his ability to control himself and be less impulsive and fidgety. You need to check they have got his dosage correct but also if you aren't already on it consider asking for slow release concerta - as Walesblackbird mentions - it avoids the lunch time dip and gives a more constant release.

Re: the temper tantrums - oh yes my son has these regularly - they are worse when his medication has worn off or on days he does not take it. He has to be supervised with his DS as he has punched it twice cracking the glass because "it was cheating him", he has pulled the wires out of his X-Box controller because the game wouldn't do what he wanted. He has smashed his pool cues in half. When angry he destroys his things then bursts into tears because he has broken them and then hits himself in the head and says he is rubbish. It takes a tremendous amount of patience to realise this is part of their condition. My son's psychologist suggested giving him a length of pipe lagging (foam tube) that he can hit the floor or wall with when he is angry. If you can find someway of helping him release his anger that will help but unfortunately you are unlikely to be able to stop him getting angry in the first place. The only other thing is to try star charts and have really clear beahviour rules and expectations and punishments they understand and know what the consequences will be. Unless anyone with more experience has any suggestions in which case I too would welcome some advice!

I have never really had anyone else to talk to about my son and his problems so it is quite nice to know other mums out there are sharing the same exeriences! It can feel quite lonely and isolating sometimes. You only want the best for your children and want them to grow up healthy and happy but sometimes you wonder how life is going to turn out for them when they have special needs.

Lolly75 Wed 27-Apr-11 15:04:55

oh and consider changing schools. My son's first nursery threatened to expel him but when I moved him somewhere else he was so much happier and in an environment that was far more understanding and supportive. he was like a different child.

exileinbrussels Fri 06-May-11 08:24:30

my son also has ADHD and dyslexia. He tries so hard to do well and really works more than other kids in his class but doesn't get the results. I feel so sorry for him and so worried about how he will cope in future.
He is on Ritalin and the school are aware of his issues but this doesn;t really lead t any practical help.
I think maybe I help him too much with his h/w but he gets so much of it and it is tough for him.

qwertysue Mon 09-May-11 22:20:15

Hi, my son was first diagnosed with having an attention defacite aged 4. but was told he was too young for medication, he then went through school being known as " naughty J" every day was a challenge for us both, as i was bringing him up alone, but i used to compensate for his lack in school by teaching him things in a way that he could learn, eg maths.. we played card games, we did sport that was one on one, or that was acheivable and no failiure eg swimming. this continued right through until high school, where the children achieved credits in their lessons, or lost them for negative or un-ruly behaviour etc. i contacted the school, as my son had lost 193 credits out of a possible 207, he was re-assessed and finally confirmed with having ADHD at 12. he went onto the medication for approximatley 3 months, within that time, my happy hungry boy had become a very unhappy boy with no appetite. and his whole manner had changed for the worst. so i made the decission to take him off the medication and again try and compensate and work alongside with his education. Each time he came home and we discussed the days events, i let him get his rants off his chest, and promissed him that tommorrow was a fresh start. he did receive extra help in some lessons at school, and got a mentor who he saw once a week. and gradually i am pleased to report that he is working really hard in school, is on the school council, is doing the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award, and goes to the young leaders Scout unit. he has also just been accepted into Fire Cadets. He is now 14 1/2 and is in line for c's in his GCSE's. i am proud to be his mum, and the one thing that has kept us going is to know that tomorrow is a fresh start, It is hard being the parent of a child with ADHD, but somewhere along the line it does get easier.

NIGHTOWL65 Sat 11-Jun-11 02:20:11

please do not put your child on ritalin as it will make your child like a zombie with the same unhappy boy as qwertysue and i know from expeince my ds was put on ritalin age 3 and he would not do anything but just sit there so i took him of it and he was a lot better he still had med's for he's adhd but a better one that helps make him calmer but still a normal little boy so please ask for or to try other meds that work better than ritalin.

ps i know what you are going though my dd has behaviour proms and has just been kicked out of school yesterday and shes only 8 and i am feeling the same way right now and am on here because i am to upset to sleep

gillian81 Sat 11-Jun-11 14:47:39

my son is on slow realese equasym aswell his school often struggle with his outburst hes just been excluded for two days . he does reci at eve some support at school we are still waiting on a decision for his statement.His dr seems to think anger management wont help which is worryinhg me ,hes behind in all his classes except art.

Becabout Mon 13-Jun-11 15:58:55

Hi, this is my first post so bear with me. Not sure if this is any help, but i found a free app recently on itunes - ratemyday which shows how your child is coping with certain times of day. Might help with getting a better support at school/Dr's

qwertysue Wed 15-Jun-11 22:15:17

just to re-iterate what nightowl has put, my son was given ritalin. i totally wouldnt recomend it.

MummyHen Fri 17-Jun-11 10:51:04

Hi, I have just joined MUMSNET - I was searching the net to get some advice on ADHD my son aged 10 has just been diagnosed (Hyper Kenetic sub type) I was discussing meds with the Doc yesterday he has prescribed Equasym XL 10mg week 1 & 2 20mg wk 3 & 4 - I am in two minds about giving them to him - he struggles with concentration and has fallen behind considerably at school he is a terrific runner / sportsman and great at art it is just the academic side he battles with - I guess you don't know till you try it - there is no one I can share my concerns with his father and I split when he was 6 months old is totally against him being med and says he is no different to any other boy - the report from the school speaks load and clear about his inability to stay on task or remain seated for any length of time - has all the symptoms - impulsive and on the go continually has occasional outbursts - he is currently also being assessed for Dyslexia also - I feel so alone sad I want to do best by my boy reading about the side effects are worrying me - but again I guess he may not have any - the Doc said it is likely he may get headaches or stomach cramps but these will pass... can suppress appetite - he's hasn't got an ounce of fat on him as it is... any advice would be greatly received.

fabmum1966 Sun 19-Jun-11 18:43:05

My son is 12 and he has been on ritalin it calmed him down but gave him tics
so we took him off it. He then went on straterra this made him sick. He is now on clonidine. He still has times when he has complete melt downs. I think if you son gets the right support in school he may calm down a bit. My son was kicked out of his mainstream secondary school. We managed to get him in a special school with all the attention he gets he has become a lot more settled this means he is more settled at home.

demo Wed 22-Jun-11 13:14:07

My son was on Concerta, it slowed down his growth so much, when he stopped taking it, he shot up quite a few inches in just a few months, this has left him scarred for life with stretch marks right across back, so bad that it looks like he has been whipped with a cat of nine tails!

ADHDguide Tue 12-Jul-11 11:53:55

Hi there ladies,

My name is Ross I am 21 and have ADHD. I would like to offer any advise i can give. I have been through it all Bad times at school and after school too. But i promise you with the right support and some faith it does get better. Also there is a new technology For children with Attention difficulties that helps permanetly reduce symptoms look at www.gamesforlife.co.uk

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