Smug smug smug!!!!!(26 Posts)
Ok it was me who started the 'phrases that make you weep' thread after a particularly tough few weeks.
Today we went to a friend's BBQ. Or rather my DP did. I trudged round in the heat getting DD to sleep in the buggy. I arrived an hour late and was told 'look at that!'
On the floor was a small sleeping baby..... In the middle of the floor. I just blinked and asked 'are they ok?' 'Oh yes, we've trained him to sleep anywhere'
So I shrugged it off and sat sharing some watermelon with the now v chipper DD watching little man jump awake and resettle several times as people were laughing and shouting around him.
Several times people said 'yeah, you just can't pander to them..... They have to learn to sleep wherever'.
Is it wrong I wished non sleepers on all of them? Only the parents with the little boy had children I should add.
I hate them on your behalf! Can I encourage you also by saying that DS1 was like that- he would sleep anywhere you put him down, ... I like to think we weren't that smug (as we certainly didn't train him to do it, it was pure luck!) but we must've been a little smug because just to bring us back to earth, DS2 is the worst sleeper on the planet!! 7mo and still waking hourly at night... I think that's what you need to wish on these smuggos!!
I felt mean posting it but I was just about to leave early to get bean to bed and she says 'oh do you want a pre bedtime nap?' To her little man And looked at me and laughed
Cheers! (Sloshes large gin back)
My friends dd does this when I'm babysitting. First time she did this I was almost dialling 999 before I realised she was just asleep! Luckily my friend is very easy going and not at all smug (she definitely didn't 'train' her dd to do this, it just happens).
My two lovely dc refused to sleep even in the buggy or car!
Been there and done it. Those sleeping kids and their smug parents. YANBU. I would silently wish them teenage years from hell. Still waiting to see how that pans out.
Ha! Oh god I wish I had had one of those.
My dc will only sleep in their cot, in silence, in the dark for naps and night. Both of them (10 years apart) never ever slept in their pram or car seat, literally going 12 hours awake at one particular day out I remember..was not fun.
Some babies are just stubborn
I have no problem with people whose babies sleep (mostly) but its the bloody phrases like 'oh I wouldn't have them waking all the time' or 'they're just really GOOD' that make me all cranky.
I think unless you've had a non sleeper you dot realise sleep training is a pile of shite and sleep is developmental. DD is now sleeping better than she was but its far from ideal. They just do why they do and all you can do is encourage them.
Bollocks did they "train" him, they just lucky and got one of the ones that sleep. Karma dictates they get a hyper high-needs hysterical harpy next time.
at "trained him", like he's a frigging labrador puppy.
I am ashamed to say I was one of the childless "you can't pander to them" "just put them down" "rod for your own back" idiots. Karma has blessed me with a non-sleeping non-napping hyper-alert baby. What goes around comes around.
<sprinkles non-sleeping baby dust on all of those smug parents>
My two were/are terrible sleepers (silent reflux, food intolerances and tongue tie being the cause>
Oh it winds me up when parents think it's their magical, wonderful parenting that has 'trained' their babies to sleep. If it was that easy everyone would be doing it and Gina Ford, Dr Sears etc would be in alternative careers.
My dd loves nursery and unlike some of the children there, never cries when dropped, is happily playing when I collect her etc. But I don't assume its my superior parenting that has made her independant, confidant etc. It's just her personality.
Millions my Ds is like that. Loves nursery. He's really confident, hugs anyone and everyone, walks around laughing and smiling all day apparently. He is however a terrible sleeper.
I would like to see how far I got giving other people advice on how to make there's kids more happy & confident.
Everyman and his dog had offered me sleep advice and evaluated my parenting skills.
I wish non sleepers on a lot of people.
Lol at 'I wish non sleepers on a lot of people'
A dad and I were discussing how sorry we felt for people who's first child is the "easy" one, because they convince themselves it's down to them and their brilliant parenting skills and get very smug about it. Then the second, more normal child comes along and they don't know what's hit them.
This was in no way an attempt to make ourselves feel better about our hyper, wilful, non-sleeping first borns!
I think the baby's parents are passing off having an easy baby as something they've done. Pure luck though I'm sure. Do they think the rest of us are just too lazy to 'train' our babies?
I know where you're coming from. I had a friend tell me they wanted to mske sure their 3 month old got used to being in/liking her pram. My babies have always only settled in slings at that age. It was as if she thought something she had done made her baby like sleeping inthe pram and i shiuld have persevered with mine and they would have too. II smiled snd resisted telling her she just is lucky her baby is easy going.
It's the knowing tone that grates.
Yes, yes. You're super parents. Well done.
Was thinking yesterday, as I pushed dc2's pram around in the sweltering heat to get him to nap, that nobody, NOBODY, can claim to know anything about how to get babies to be good sleepers, unless they have had AT LEAST two children, possibly three. We did the same with both of ours; dc1 was a moderate-good sleep, dc2 shite-moderate.
Also (dangerous to get me started on this...) I hate how ppl see it as the be-all-and-end-all. A rather smug friend with one Perfect Child said when I was talking about dc2's sleep- 'ohhh, that's the worry, we think we want another child but dc1 has been soooo good, what if we get a non-sleeper?'
I pointed out, in what I hope was a patient and non-snippy way, that whilst dc2 may not sleep that well, this does mean I adore him any less, does not make him any less gorgeous, sweet and funny, and does not (ffs) make me think it was a bad idea to have had him (FFS!).
Tiny babies will sleep anywhere ime. Is only when they get to five months or so that they totally lose the ability to self settle and sleep for any length of time.
We did it all in reverse, dd1 was an awful sleeper, or for those positive parenters, very good at staying awake. From day 2 she spurned sleep, fed more than she slept and was 100% durracel bunny, dd2 was a little better but then ds came along and he will sleep anywhere and everywhere, even now and with life just going on around him, he's nearly 4. Of course he will only sleep when he wants to now, but I'll still turn around and find him napping on the sofa. Oh how I've had a silent chuckle about those who got the easy one first!
5 weeks mine stopped sleeping. I didn't get that version I don't think signora!
The most reassuring advice is had from a good friend of mine with twins. Having been in hospital for a while they were in a routine by the time they got home. They've always been treated in approximately the same way. One has been a good sleeper and the other was not. It's just their characters and you've got to work out what suits each individual baby.
I like that story Brug and night use it next time I hear someone trilling on about sleep training.
This weekend we're attempting a cot bed transition as she's now trying to crawl off our bed rather than sleep. Expect hysterical, sleep deprived posts....
As I looked at my non-napping wide awake DS earlier this morning I wondered if I could try some reverse smugness, eg "DS is so advanced he can easily manage to be awake, happy and alert for 3-4 or so hours at a stretch already rather then the 2 hours I believe is expected at this age"
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