how do I get my 19 mo in his own bed?

[sneezecake]

Bit of a long story I'll try to shorten it.
ds 19mo has always co slept, and breast fed.
thing is he is rubbish at sleeping, wakes up 4 + times in a night has never slept a whole night (come quite close) he needs the booby to get him off to sleep now and will not sleep without it. sometimes wont let go all night!
he has mild cerebral palsy, and cant reposition himself when asleep, I think this is the reason why he wakes up so often.
I need a plan to get him sleeping in his own bed (even if its in our room to begin with)
I have started letting him grizzle during the night, which he excepts and goes back to sleep. I wont leave him to cry his heart out, and I don't have much faith in controlled crying. any ideas,I know its going to be a long process.

[MaryMotherOfManchego]

Sorry your post hasn't been answered yet.

I've no idea about much of that, especially co-sleeping, but I would say controlled crying isn't about letting him cry his heart out. To me, it's about letting him grizzle, then comforting him, then if he grizzles again, letting him do it a bit longer before going back and comforting him again. And that means leaving him in bed, and just patting him, and letting him know that you're there and you care.

Because crying his heart out isn't controlled.

Good luck with it though. I know it's not easy.

[sneezecake]

thanks MMM I don't mind letting him have a grizzle, he does that now, but I think the only way I can effectively soothe him is with the booby
I think I'll wait til he's two and give it another go just at a loss as to what to do? nevermind we'll get there eventually!

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I just moved my 19mo into a bed and I was really worried it wouldn't work. He used to be put to bed in DH and my bed, cuddled to sleep by DH (only takes a few mins). Up until 17m he was breastfed to sleep, but he self weaned (). Anyway, I am pregnant with no.3 and needed him out by June so once the bunk beds were up for the 2 DSs, we just cuddled him to sleep there. One night he has come back in with us, but whenever he cried one of us just cuddles him back to sleep - same as when co-sleeping. Try and get him to co sleep with a teddy or something too, then move him with the teddy. DS has gone straight to a single bed which does make it alot easier to just lie down with him.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I see now he is feeding 4+ times a night. Either just keep going in to him (he may wean a little if it's not right there) or stay as you are if you aren't fussed. DS1 was in with me until about 2 then was very excited to have his own bed

[sneezecake]

I'm not overly fussed with the sleeping arrangements, but dh keeps telling his mum and I get a lot of cat bim faces a bit like one!
and am so with the self weaning!

[icantgetnosleep]

hi, sorry i have no advice but just to say im in the same boat! dd 15months always coslept and bf to sleep sometimes she is def on most of the night. waking all night. out of desperation and dp moaning all the time i starting controlled crying in her cot last week and she is still waking to cry for a hour im finding it really sad after co-sleeping all this time now having her crying ...i might be about to give in cause there is no improvement. I may move into her room and hope dp will stop moaning and she will not have to cry to sleep. hope you get some sleep tonight

[sneezecake]

thing is he sleeps quite well co-sleeping. and i know he wouldn't on his own, ah well!

[happysnowdrop]

sounds to me like your problem is not so much with co-cleeping as with your dh telling his mum about it. How does your dh feel about still co-sleeping?

I have an 18 month DS still in our bed (now huge mattress on floor) and bf all night - and my dh has finally learned not to mention it to his mum (bless her, she wanted us to put him in a cot in his own separate room at one week old).

Here's my two pennyworth: choose whatever you genuinely think is best for your DS, and be proud that you are strongminded enough to do this. Having said this, I know it's not easy... hope it all goes well for you.

[sneezecake]

thank you happysnowdrop, I don't think dh really minds about co-sleeping, as he knows it is the best thing for ds. think he needs to learn to lie to her as she keeps asking.

[Rockbird]

I'm in the same boat and DD is 2.3yo! Not pg (yet) but everyone is suffering with a very severe lack of sleep now, including DD. We're all light sleepers and we wake each other up.