Night weaning over easter... please tell me how to go about it!

[babber]

I've been wanting to night wean for a while now but am too lazy tired to try anything. However, DS is now 15 months old... he eats fantastically well during the day and i am pretty sure he does not 'need' BF during the night. So, i have DP at home for 4 whole nights, should we go cold turkey with him and just let DP go to him with water? will this work? i can only envisage him getting so worked up he screams and screams...
I really do have to do something because at the moment he refuses to be settled by anyone else but me,. making it very hard for me to go out anywhere at night because if and when i do i can be sure to come home to a tired grumpy baby who has been giving his babysitter hell. Within 2 minutes of me being home and giving him boob he will be asleep. Which is what has led to my laziness in doing anything really because i can settle him straight away. however, i feel now that 15 months on i should be able to relax enough to go out for a whole night without worrying about getting home to an awake baby. not to mention the 4 or 5 times he wakes during the night wanting me...
whenever i think about doing anything though i start getting racked with guilt that i'm putting myself before him, which is silly i know because he's as happy as can be but thats just what i do. i also am starting to think about weaning off BF altogether but thats a whole different thread!
anyway - sorry for long ramble... hope someone can decipher what i've written and help!

[MrsBadger]

we did Jay Gordon with dd at about 17m and it worked a treat.

I took it slower than he suggested though, spending up to a week at each stage until I was sure dd was happy with it.

Having dh on side was vital but it had to be me that actually did it else it wouldn't have worked - dh could have done a week's worth of nigfhts but the first time I went back in she'd have demanded to be fed, iyswim

[DrDoobs]

Have you done any 'prep' work? Does he still feed to sleep for naps and when he first goes to bed? If so it might be worth you working on getting him to be able to go to sleep on his own first.

If he's already ok at that and it's just feeding, then it could also be worth cutting down gradually for a couple of weeks before you go cold turkey - give him a chance to build up daytime eating. When I stopped feeding DD in the night I spent 2 weeks cutting her feeds back by a minute every couple of nights until she was only feeding for 5 minutes before going back down. Then when I did stop it wasn't too stressful.

May not be relevant if he only feeds for 2 minutes anyway...

[babber]

Thanks for quick replies!

I was reading the Jay gordon article the other night actually. Interesting to hear that it definitely works (for some anyway!) maybe we should try this and just be prepared for the initial disruption (warn the neighbours etc).

DrDoobs - he quite often wakes crying, gets louder until i go to him and then instantly settles as soon as he latches on... 5 mintues later he's back in the cot sleeping. I know this isn't a terrible scenario as i an usually get to sleep pretty quickly again but the thought of an uninterupted nights sleep is just too amazing to contemplate... if i have 4.5 hours unbroken i feel like i've had a full nights sleep at the moment!
in terms of prep- i did start trying the NCSS gentle removal plan but didn't seem to be getting anywhere so gave up. lazy i know. i hear what you're saying though.

Thanks for advice ladies x

[DrDoobs]

sounds like you are already down to min calories then and i would go for it if it was me...(at least that's what i have done in the past and plan to do in due course this time round too)

[babyphat]

i'm on night 2 of cold turkey with my co-sleeping 19mo, i have done some of the prep work in jay gordon over the last few weeks like delatching before sleep and cutting night feeds shorter.

the first night wasn't too bad - grumbles every couple of hours but she was knackered so didn't put up much of a fight. Last night she was more screechy but it didn't feel wrong, iyswim.

hoping it won't be too many more nights till we've nailed it but it feels quite do-able - even last night it can't have been more than ten minutes of crying at the most, so am not too shattered.

good luck!

[babyphat]

btw meant cold turkey on night feeds, still breastfeeding in the day

[babber]

Thanks for the support, we're planning on starting with the Jay gordon style training after next week (am away next weekend so thought it best to start once we're back home...
just wondering thjough, and perhaps you ladies who have done/are doing the'training' can help: what happens when you go to put your LO back in the cot whilst they're awake and they scream and stand up - as I am sure this is what my DS will do. Do you think i should just keep lying him down?
BTW We don't offically co-sleep but he does usually end up in our bed at some point as it means i get more sleep than if i'm in his room trying to get him to stay asleep as i put him back in his cot. I think, overall though, the quality and quantity of both mine and DP's sleep would be improved if we did have our bed to ourselves so would prefer him to stay in his cot...
I think i will try and use this opportunity to get him to stay in his own bed at least till 5ish... Any ideas if this will work?
I think i am nervous about starting... went into him earlier as he was crying and picked him up and tried to shush him... he cries and arches his back until i sit down and get my boob out - not looking forward to denying him what he wants!

[babyphat]

yay, only one wakeup last night without much crying, though she woke at 6 and was wide awake saying 'time milk'! i held off till half past when it became clear she was not going back to sleep!

i feel really good, i think i am also dealing better when she does wake up as i'm not laying there seething in resentment as i was with numerous feeds per night!

babber, we co-sleep with a bedside cot, we have a gigantic bed too so not in any hurry to move her. i am starting her in there but generally comforting her in our bed. i think that as she goes longer she will spend more of the night in the cot.

but fwiw, i am lying her down on her side or front, cuddling, and stroking her back and whispering nonsense in her ear, usually a long list of everyone we know who is asleep . you could do most of that in the cot.

but i totally sympathise as it's only very recently i could have done this without it becoming a pitched battle

[babyphat]

sorry to be a thread hog but thought i would post an update for anyone who searches night weaning later - night 4 and only one tiny wakeup - no crying just mumbling, quick rub on the back and off to sleep again. woke again at 6 so I gave her a feed and we both went back to sleep for another hour or so, then another feed, then a cuddle and story in bed before finally dragging myself out of bed

i can't believe it has been so easy, she was a dreadful sleeper - wakeups every 1.5-2 hours, couldn't put down asleep without snapping wide awake and furious howls -but all of a sudden recently has been a lot better which made me think night weaning might be do-able.

good luck to anyone else doing it!

[babyphat]

oh and she slept in her bedside cot all night, till the 6am feed!

oh and I have been trying to do proper bedtimes, we never bothered before, but she has to be really exhausted to fall asleep without a feed, so invariably we do stories in the cot and then she jumps out for another play and falls asleep on my lap after a feed half an hour later and I transfer her to bed after that.

Doesn't seem to make any difference to the night sleep - this might be helpful to others as I felt that I had to 'fix' everything to get her to sleep through.

[babber]

Thanks so much for the update babyphat... great to hear such a success story I hope it goes as smoothly for us!!! I am definitely ready for some more sleep thats or sure... feeling very tired...

[babyphat]

hope it goes well for you too babber, i thought it would be a nightmare, i'd been putting it off

last night was night 5, and two tiny wakeups, was quite cute actually, at 4ish she said 'bed', climbed in with me and snuggled up and went back to sleep, and the second one at 5ish asked for milk, i said no, and she went back to sleep till gone 7!

i really don't think sleeping through is the be-all and end-all but it will nonetheless be very nice to go to bed and not wake up till the morning!

good luck!