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Co-sleeping - your experiences wanted please

(47 Posts)
welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 13:33:51

DS sleeps in our bed. He's 7 weeks old and he wakes a couple of times a night for a feed (bf) and then goes back to sleep - doesn't cry at all and is happy as a sandboy cuddled up to me. Problem is I don't really want to do this for much longer as I'm sleeping really badly. Books I read seem to suggest that I need to nip in the bud quickly or sign up to it for the next couple of years But how do I nip it the bud? He feels way too little to just let him cry, I'm all at sea over this one (dd was really independent and went in her own cot in her own room at 5 weeks and was really happy there)
Would be interested in your experiences and any advice as to what might work. Thanks

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:35:05

How about a bedside crib or cot - like a half way stop.

That is what we used with DD, although we did co-sleep until DD was well over a year in this way.

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:36:26

Like this - bedside cot

welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 13:37:18

Sorry hulababy should have said that we've got one but he doesn't like to go in it. He fossicks and moans and then works himself up to full on wailing - should I just let him cry in it? It's so hard to do that at his age.....

welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 13:38:30

Oooo that looks good - we've only got a moses basket. Where's it from please?

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:38:39

Can't advise on that I am afraid. DD slept beside me in her bedside cot or in our bed. She was up half the night (and more) if left onher own. Co-sleeping meant she slept right through.

Hope someone can be of more use.

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:39:11

The bedside cot - we got ours from Mothercare for £150. Currently out of stock there though. But sure loads of places do them.

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:41:14

This is what I have found:

Kiddiecare - £134. Normally £145 on most other sites.

We used our bedside cot from about 4 weeks, with a Grobag.

welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 13:42:15

Is she still sleeping with you? If not what age did she go to her own room and was it really difficult?

welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 13:43:06

Thanks hulababy - kind of you

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:45:29

No she isn't - she is just over 3 years now.

Because of circumstances with our accomodation DD was in our bedroom until we moved, age 16 months.Before that, we would put her to sleep in the bedside cot with the side up. Then we went to bed I would drop the side.

I was lazy though and quite enjoyed co-sleeping too, so wasn't desperately worried about it, so did nothing to stop it really. It was when we moved house she went into her own room. It actually wasn't too bad a transition at that age either.

Hulababy Sun 10-Jul-05 13:46:12

It's pretty quiet on here today - hot weather! For more hints and avice I would bump this tonight or tomorrow when more people will be about.

welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 14:26:44

Will do - but appreciate your help v much.

hercules Sun 10-Jul-05 14:28:33

I cosleep and it doesnt bother me but if you dont want to be still doing if in 2 years time then, yes, i'd stop it now.
I dont know best way of doing it but I'm sure others will come along with great advice.

MarmaladeSun Sun 10-Jul-05 16:11:36

Hi. I co sleep with DD2 who is a year next week. I love it, and will stop when she is ready to. She goes in her cot until about midnight, and when she wakes I take her in with me. I co slept with my other 2 also, and they both went into their own rooms when they were ready. It doesn't affect my sleeping though; in fact I get a lot more sleep this way than if I insisted on her going in her cot. I can't really offer any advice though, as I'm a firm bneliever in letting little ones set the pace (within reason) but if you're not sleeping well then something needs to be done for your own sanity. Nothing worse than sleep deprivation. 7 weeks is too young to be left to cry though, in my opinion anyway. Hope someone else has some suggestions for you.

spidermama Sun 10-Jul-05 16:14:41

Hi WM. I've had all 4 of mine in bed with me (no.4 still currently co-sleeping) until they're about 10 months old or until dh can't take it any more.

I find I sleep far better and doze whilst feeding.

I've never had any problems with easing them out of bed and have always done it gradually, seeeeeamlessly, eeeeesily.

MarsLady Sun 10-Jul-05 16:24:25

Have had all 5 in bed with us (which incls twins). Been wonderful. No getting up and out to sort them when they need feeding. DT2 still coming in with us, DT1 finally worked out that she can spend the entire night apart from me. Clever girlie!

Kept them until I wanted my space back. It was lovely. No real difficulties getting them into their own beds. Just started them there until they stayed there.

Would do it again and again (except that 5's my lot!)

spidermama Sun 10-Jul-05 16:27:07

Yes Marslady. I've loved it too.

Raggydoll Sun 10-Jul-05 17:09:11

How old were they marslady, when they went to their own beds/rooms all night?

Lonelymum Sun 10-Jul-05 17:28:30

I did this mainly with my third (dd) and fourth (ds3) because I was too darn tired to get up to them in the night. I remember the last one (ds3) best as it was most recent.

I used to put him to sleep in his cot and then when he woke up, dh would put him in bed with me and either stay with me and put him back when ds3 had fallen back to sleep, or (more usual) dh would go and sleep in the spare bed and ds3 would spend the rest of the night (however long that was) with me. Neither dh nor I really wanted to be separated, but I was just too tired to be up every night. It gradually petered out as ds3 began to go the whole night without a feed - perhaps when he was about a year old. For a long time, he was simply waking at about 5 ish so most of the night he was where he should be and so were dh and I.

We never went cold turkey and refused him access to our bed - it never came to that.

NotQuiteCockney Sun 10-Jul-05 18:01:49

I did this with DS1 and DS2. DS1 we kicked out at 3 months, did controlled crying. It was hard. But it did work. I stopped night feeds at 6 months, so I had three months of going next door for feeds, which wasn't fun.

With DS2, I started putting him down on his own at 6 months - he had naps in his room, and did the first part of the night in his room, and the rest of the night with us (again, we did CC, but it went much better).

At about 8 months, he discovered he urgently needed to talk about the aaaAAAAAaaaah in the middle of the night (when chatty, moving him to his own room made him go to sleep). He also bit me a few times in the night, and started trying to wiggle his way off our (quite high) bed. So I left him in his own room, and spent about a month feeding him next door. At about 9 months, I stopped feeding him in the night. He still grumbles sometimes in the night, and DH visits him, but generally he's ok.

So it certainly isn't a matter of "kick him out now or wait for puberty". But doing CC isn't nice, and you do have to be firm and tough for it to work. I highly recommend cosleeping as long as you plan to do night feeds.

vickiyumyum Sun 10-Jul-05 19:11:59

i co slept with my ds2 and it has turned out to be a bit of anightmare as he still insists on coming into our bed at 5 every morning weithout fail! and hes 3 now.
at 7 weeks i would be temepted to say leave it for a while as you still need to recover from giving birth and all those early sleepless nights, i would probably start putting him in a cot in my room at about 3 months and then using controlled crying to get him to sleep alone.
it is true that the longer you leave it the harder it is, although i would say that you have a whime to worry about that yet, if at 6 months you still don't have abetter routine then i would be inclined to be a bit stricter. (if only i had taken my own advice)

toria77 Sun 10-Jul-05 19:46:15

i had ds next to me in moses and sometimes in bed right up until last month- he is now 6.5 months- he has just settled to sleeping in a cot in his own room - dropping off by himself- but it took a few weeks to get him to this point. until i stopped bf i found it much easier to have him next to me in moses then cot at 5 months and so be able to have him in bed some times

welshmum Sun 10-Jul-05 20:01:52

Thanks for all your thoughts/advice.
I'm finding it a really tough one to make a decision about. If I knew for sure that seperating from him would be ok later on - at say 3-6 months - then I'd carry on as it definitely does make night feeds easier. Just not convinced that he'll go in his cot then either. He doesn't like the moses basket, the cot, the buggy, anything except me......but I don't think he should cry either.....thought this parenting lark would be easier 2nd time around....

milward Sun 10-Jul-05 20:05:37

Co-slept with my 3 dds when they were babies. The best thing I did as I got to sleep & could bf without having to get up. Mine all moved to their cots when around 1yr old. No problems. Happy & confident kids. For many cultures it's the norm to sleep next to your baby - it worked out really well for our family. My next is due in sept & will also be co-sleeping from the start again Check the unicef website for excellent info brochure on co-sleeping.

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