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FAO anyone who breastfeeds their baby to sleep and worries about it

29 replies

DitaVonCheese · 28/01/2010 23:36

DD is 16 months and has been breastfed to sleep for most of those 16 months, despite dire warnings from our MW at about 6 days old and various friends, family, strangers and anyone else who felt like offering an opinion I did worry that I would be doing it forever but also took the view that I might as well do what was working now and worry about the future if and when it became a problem, plus I thought that if feeding made babies go to sleep then nature probably had a plan and we should just roll with it.

From time to time we thought we should "break the sleep association" and tried things like Pantley's Pull-Off, but DD never really went with it so I'd always give up.

About six weeks ago, I found that DD would generally unlatch herself while still awake and I could then rub her back for ten minutes until she fell asleep. About four weeks ago, that stopped working and I now give her a feed then DH goes in and cuddles her to sleep (she won't sleep for me at night at all!).

So I have now gone from worrying that I would never stop feeding DD to sleep to being unable to do it - and I really miss it! It does still work for naps sometimes, but not always.

Just thought I would post for anyone who is in a similar situation - I know all babies are different but for us it has just worked itself out naturally and I'd do the same again next time. Hopefully someone will find it useful/reassuring

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ShowOfHands · 28/01/2010 23:43

DD was exactly the same.

I too figured it was nature's way and one day she just decided to latch off while awake, had a quick look round, said goodnight and nodded off. She never feeds to sleep now.

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CharCharGabor · 29/01/2010 00:08

DD also did this,although she was a few months older. She went from needing to feed to sleep all the time, to a story and a cuddle and she's asleep within 5 minutes every night. She never asks to feed to sleep now. It was lovely to be able to meet her need until she didn't need it anymore I am due with DD2 in 4 weeks and will be doing the exact same thing again.

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Lizum · 29/01/2010 13:37

DS has stopped feeding to sleep too, although he still wakes at night to feed.
He stopped at around 8 months for naps and around 13/14 months for evening time.
Best rod I got for my own back!

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Cadelaide · 29/01/2010 13:38

I still feed DS to sleep.

He's 3.7

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ChairmumMiaow · 29/01/2010 13:43

I still feed 2yo DS to sleep. It was very inconvenient when I was unable to do it in early pregnancy because of sore nipples! Made bedtime much longer!

He has, however, fallen asleep with cuddles from other people for maybe 9mo so I never stressed about it. Why mess with a good thing!?

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rubyslippers · 29/01/2010 13:47

DD is 16 weeks and fed to sleep at night mainly as she passes out from the breastmilk!

nap time she goes down awake with some bum patting to help, and she weirdly can settle herself after her middle of the night feed so am not worried

MIL has put her to bed once so i know she can do it

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cleanandclothed · 29/01/2010 13:50

Thank you Dita for the thread (and everyone else). DS 15 months still feeds to sleep, although not all the time. I do wonder how/when it will stop....

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StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 14:00

i still feed DS (almost 3) to sleep but i don't have to, he'll now go to sleep on his oown if his little sis is crying or whatever. Never did anything to train him other than have a 2nd baby

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babber · 29/01/2010 14:34

Thank you for this! DS (12m) feeds to sleep and like you i have half heartedly tried Pantley Pull Off etc but to no avail. I have always felt that he will do it on his own eventually so this proves there is hope yet!
My only 'problem' is that he still wakes several times during the night and requires me then as well - making leaving him with a babysitter hard. But hey-ho, he won't be a baby forever so i guess i can cope! Thanks again (although desperately hoping he won't still be doing it when he's 3.7, or that i will need to have another baby to stop him!)

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StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 15:03

I found once DS Could talk and I could reason with him it got easier. Unfortunately he was a fairly late talker
Go on...have another baby

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CarryOnDancing · 29/01/2010 16:19

What a useful thread! I have an 11 day DD who constantly wakes and then will only go back to sleep on the breast. I am drowning in Lanolin and am seriously sleep deprived, but am most pleased to hear I am not setting myself up for an impossible lifelong situation!
I have been considering introducing a dummy for those times I know she just wants comfort? Feeding time can be a 2hour scenario with the disruption of nappy changing making my little darling wake so she needs to suckle again, this then makes her poop again so again off with the nappy, and now shes awake, so again she suckles... Any tales or opinions?

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Flightattendant · 29/01/2010 16:29

another 2.7yo still feeding to sleep here...he is getting more amenable to sleeping without it though, for instance in the car, or when he was poorly and didn't want milk...I know they get there in their own time and tbh I think there is HUGE pressure from all corners when you just go with the flow in this respect...people like to see you taking control somehow of what your baby needs, when in fact you can't really - all the sleep trianing and stuff is a bit of an illusion imo.

Can I just ask another little question - what does everyone else's child call their milk/boobs?
Have recently realised that mine are called, respectively, 'Molkies' (RH) and 'This one Molky'(LH) and will frequently break off to tell me he is having one or the other.

My friend's 2.5yo toddler calls it 'Noodle'

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4andnotout · 29/01/2010 16:35

I'm so reassured by this thread, I stil feed dd4 (15mo) to sleep and have been under pressure to wean her off bf as I will have to go away for a few nights in the summer with my brownies, but I don't feel ready and now know I'm not the only person still bfing to sleep at this age.

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loler · 29/01/2010 16:42

From this thread it looks like 15/16 months seems to be an average break off point for feeding to sleep. ds2 was 16 months he came for a cuddle - gave me a smile then pushed me away, last bf ever with completely no warning!

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Cadelaide · 29/01/2010 18:28

Flight, mine are called "ugguh".

It started as he was learning to speak and I would ask "other side?", so "other side" became "ugguh".

I'm quite pleased really, when he bellows for "UGGUH" in the dentist's waiting room no-one understands what he's asking for and I can just say "later darling".

Sorry, but I just can't feed a 3.7yo in public

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Peachy · 29/01/2010 18:34

DS4 calls mine boobies,he has started to carry around a pink puffle toy that he also calls B0obie PMSL so I can use that as a aget out if needed

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Flightattendant · 29/01/2010 18:34

That is SO sweet Cadelaide! [awww]

It is good code as well.

Ds2 sometimes just points with a shy smile and says 'want these' or 'I neeeed'

which is not quite so subtle.

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CharCharGabor · 29/01/2010 18:36

DD calls them moresies Is handy as noone knows what she's talking about, although the hand shoved down my top is not so cryptic!

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DitaVonCheese · 29/01/2010 20:39

Yay! Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and glad to hear that some people have found it helpful

Jealous of those for whom feeding to sleep still works! Did work for us tonight, but only because she refused to nap today and was exhausted and I'm not sure I'm willing to swap naps for easy bedtimes yet.

CarryOn oh I remember those days - I remember one night in particular when DD just pooed every time I fed her and then I'd have to change her and feed her back to sleep and I remember thinking "THIS WILL NEVER END" but it did, eventually. No advice I don't think but my heartfelt sympathies - just the usual stuff, nap during the day while you can, get your DH/DP to do his share (my DH did all the daytime nappy changes as I was doing all the night wakings but you can work out your own jobshare), don't do any housework, or cooking either if you can help it. I don't think a dummy is recommended for bfed babies before a month because of nipple confusion, but DD would never take one anyway - maddening at the time but I'm relieved now!

Flight DD says bee-bee - it was her version of boobie, but I decided to go with the mispronunciation as it was better for public situations, so now DH and I call it beebee too Like CharChar though, the hand-down-top and nipple-grabbing is a bit of a giveaway.

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ShowOfHands · 29/01/2010 21:23

DD was an earlyish talker so from 12 months we had 'mummy milk' and 'cow's milk', one from boobies, one from 'dudders' (we live on a farm, she's fascinated by animals feeding).

My dd was probably just over 2 when she stopped feeding to sleep. She will feed to sleep when ill and it's still a brilliant re-set button at 2.8.

I did find that the ability to talk has helped enormously with different paths to settling.

What a lovely thread.

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CharCharGabor · 29/01/2010 21:42

DD uses it as a reset button too when she's feeling tired or overwhelmed. She's feeling very insecure atm as I'm very pregnant and she has been feeding a few times a day. It obviously provides her with a lot of comfort and I think heads off a lot of negative behaviour. It helps that I can bargain with her too (a bit!) when I don't feel like feeding.

Agree this is a lovely thread

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iamaLeafontheWind · 29/01/2010 21:43

DD stopped feeding to sleep at about 14 months here. She would still feed, just not go to sleep. Bit gutted really but kind of smug after the amount of advice we got along the lines of 'she'll sleep through when you stop feeding her to sleep' and the old 'rod for own back' cherry. We're just finishing feeding now at 17 months and she still won't sleep easily.

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PrincessBoo · 29/01/2010 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrincessBoo · 29/01/2010 21:55

Oh no I accidently put DS name - how do I edit?

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TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 29/01/2010 22:00

gecko will be three a week on sunday and she still demand feeds through the night

only recently did she start unlatching, saying goodnight and then going to sleep

she wakes every 3 ish hours for boob in the night

one day in the future I may get 6 hours striaght sleep
but I have xddecided not to makew it happen
it will happen eventually

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