I can't sleep after 2am feed - any tips!

[PaddysMa]

hi there, i am a newbie to mumsnet and motherhood, currently cradling me beautiful 8 week ds who is grizzly after his injections today. Just getting used to typing with one hand, please excuse the mess!

My son is doing great. Has settled into a routine on his own and wakes once at night to feed at 2/3AM. My problem is that i am finding myself wide awake after his feed and can't go back to sleep, it is driving me mad! Some days i feel i can't cope as i am so tiered. my mum has had to come up, and it is a fair drive. I just lie there feeling guilty if i have to ask my husband to help as i get tearful. He is brilliant btw, but does need his sleep with a new job.

I suppose i am just interested in if other people have been through similar. I don't feel depressed, but obviously have little sleep does make you feel a bit low.

Many thanks xx

[SydneyB]

Hello - I've been through bouts of this kind of insomnia with both my my DCs. Those night feeds can really mess with your sleep patterns added to all the hormones which are probably still flying 'round your body. No particular tips but try if you can to relax about it. Get up, read a book, try not to stress too much and it will settle down again. Hang in there!

[Theresalwaysroomforpudding]

Call me! I'm awake with you!
Feels like your own body is working against you sometimes doesn't it!

Mine wakes at 3am AND 5sm so I figure it's not worth going back to sleep again anyway. It's horrid I know, but you are NOT alone!

[PaddysMa]

Thanks for the replies, nice to know i am not alone!. I keep telling myself it will pass, but it is easier said than done to believe it. I always wanted a big family, but wonder how you do this while looking after more kids. It is just the pits! i am going to bed at 8.30 just to be sure i get some sleep beforehand, no trouble initially dropping off at that time. I just worry that in the long run my mental health will suffer.....

i bought a bumper pack of chamomile tea today. Am thinking of getting some relaxation podcasts too.

[Igglybuff]

Hi, welcome to mumsnet and motherhood! I find myself awake in the small hours - I just wile away the time surfing the net on my iphone (usually reading mumsnet....!). Occasionally I'll drift off.

Maybe get up and make yourself a hot drink - I used to keep hot choc in a flask in the bedroom which made a huge difference!

[PaddysMa]

Ah, good idea! i am trying to limit trips downstairs at night as this seems to wake me up. A flask sounds a great idea!

[cleanandclothed]

I found audio books wonderful for the late night feeds. Gives your mind something to concerntrate on but not to worry about. For when you need to stay awake to feed, use something like detective stories (Paul Temple is great, and is done in half hour slots for radio) and for when you need to sleep, something that you know quite well anyway (Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh). My library has lots.

[PaddysMa]

Harry Potter it is! Thanks!

[countrylover]

Just wanted to add to the others sentiments of 'you are not alone'. I have always felt as if I'm the only one who suffers with this. The more tired I am the less able I am to sleep. The more sleep I have the more relaxed I am and therefore the more able I am to nod off easily.

I have two DS's and both times I have ended up with chronic insomnia for months after they started sleeping through. I've never been a heavy sleeper but getting up several times a night messed with my head and left me unable to switch off at night. It felt like I still needed to be on duty even though they were sleeping 12 hours a night.

There's nothing more frustrating than being wide awake while your baby sleeps. Both mine slept through around 12 weeks so I used to get so cross that I was blessed with good sleepers and yet felt as knackered as the mums who were up half the night with their LO's.

I have ended up having CBT both times but then I did suffer with PND after each birth so mine was a more extreme case. But if you find it persists it may be something worth considering.

[BeckyBendyLegs]

I am so with you on this. On Christmas Eve night I was awake from 1.45am onwards and was chronically tired on Christmas Day and even had a bit of a meltdown after dinner as I could not get to sleep and even last night for love or money. DH gave me some piriton in the end to try to make me dozy. It worked! But when I get overtired I cannot sleep at all and it is the worst feeling in the world. You are not alone!!!

[countrylover]

I have been sleeping well for weeks after my CBT but I too was awake from some ungodly hour on Xmas morning and no, it wasn't because I was excited! DS2 (8 months) unusually woke at 4am for a cuddle and I couldn't get back to sleep at all.

Then last night I woke at 2.30am for no reason and I was awake until 6am, got an hours kip and then up at 7am with the boys.

Overtired = bad nights sleep for me. I've never been able to work out why it does the opposite for me. So very very annoying.

[BeckyBendyLegs]

PS This is my third go at it and it is hard when you have two other DCs to look after in the day too but I came back for more after suffering from lack of sleep two times already. What keeps me going is know that it doesn't last forever and when you need to sleep you will sleep even though it feels like you never will when you are wide awake at 4am knowing your baby is going to wake any minute, maybe, maybe not!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

PPS I have the cold from hell too now so anticipate a really bad night! I can't breath at all...

[BeckyBendyLegs]

PPPS Isn't it annoying how easily men can sleep after being woken by babies? My DH just goes straight back to sleep and even can't remember DS3 waking up the next morning when I say 'oooh he woke up at such and such a time'. Not fair!

[ilovemydogandmrobama]

Earphones and the World Service always did it for me!

For me, as long as it was before 4am, then it was late, and could go back to sleep, but after 4am, then it was early and it was morning. Ridiculous.

It isn't clear if you are breast feeding? It does get easier and you will get into a rhythm -- both of you.

But have to say that since having children, I don't sleep the same anyway.

[Hanoigal]

Sounds odd but try having a bowl of porridge. My mother recommended it to me and despite my scepticism I tried it one night when just couldn't sleep (Mum knows best, after all). Well, it worked for me and I do it now sometimes when I have tossed and turned for a good long while. She says there's something in oats that makes you sleepy - plus a nice full tummy!

[MumtoEliane]

Same here! I used to take Valerian tea or tablets when younger to sleep in exam time at Uni so had to go back to them. Its a herb so totally natural. When I go downstairs to make the night feed, first thing I take one tablet (although the packet says two) and then by the time I finish feeding I am ready to sleep! You can also drink the tea but it is absolutely disgusting, my stepmum brought some so I thought of using it so it didn't go to waste. It does the efect quicker, and what I did was prepare it before going to bed, by the time of the night feed its cold you can down it in one without breathing

[grayal]

I had terrible insomnia second time round with DS. Ended up having about 2 or 3 hours sleep a night even though DS slept longer! Got very emotional and frustrating. A couple of things I did were to have someone do the nightshift one night and take a sleeping pill for that one night, this was to get my body back on track as overtiredness made the situation worse. Secondly I did a breathing exercise where you breathe in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 5. It really worked and now I get back to sleep (unfortunately DS still getting up in the night even though he's 9 months!!) Good luck!

[mololoko]

I had this too. In the end I went to the GP it got so bad. He told me to go to bed later as by the time I was waking up I'd had 5 or 6 hours sleep and my body wasn't tired enough. I was very [hmmm] but it worked! I was amazed. It was very tough staying up until 10.30 the first few nights though.

He also gave me some sleeping pills for "emergencies" ie. when i was truly exhausted. I only used them 3 times.

I also downloaded some mp3 hypnosis sleep thing to stop myself getting into a "thinking loop" when I couldn't go back to sleep. A glass of milk and turning the clock round so I couldn't see how long I'd been awake for also helped.

Good luck.

[silvia81]

hello - my baby's 4 wks tomorrow and i've got the same problem too. for the first 2 wks i only slept 2/3 hrs per night, then started expresing so my hubby can do 1 night feed, so i'll go to bed at 8 but wake at 2 and find it very hard to sleep again. plus i just cannot nap in the day. GP will NOT give me any sleeping pills cz of bf.

I'm drinking lots of chamomille tea, having a hot bath with lavender oil and warm milk before bed. I'm worried I'll go mad if i can't get more sleep - can you please tell me I'll be ok? I think a bit of reassurance will make a difference.

[BeckyBendyLegs]

You were me two weeks ago. It won't last forever. Even now at six weeks I am sleeping better and feel better. It does get better. Why can't you nap in the day? Is this your first? When I had DS1 we used to both conk out on the sofa infront of Neighbours every afternoon.

[silvia81]

not sure wwhy i can't nap in the day - i'll close my eyes but the brain won't switch off. very frustrating!!!

[froglegs]

I totally understand. I have had sleep problems since I was 20 weeks preggers. My son is now 8 weeks and my insommnia is terrible.

My baby sleeps for 4 hours at a time now so I have the opportunity to sleep but I just can't! its so frustrating!
My pattern goes a bit like this - 10pm baby finally gets to sleep , I go to bed lay awake, baby wakes for feed at 1am, I go to bed at 2am and lay awake, baby wakes at 4am for feed, I finally get to sleep at 5am only to have to get up at 7ish. Its difficult to nap in the day as he doesnt sleep unless I am out with him in the pram (and of course wakes up immediately as soon as we come back through the front door!)

I am so tired sometimes I cry uncontrollably and think I am going mad. I have talked to my GP and have been given tamazepam with helps when I can get my boyf to do a night (I breastfeed the day after and its fine) and I am going for counselling next week.

The most annoying thing is when the HVs etc say 'you need to get rest' I KNOW THAT!!

Sorry I dont have much advice (I ive tried everything) but just know that when you are tearing your hair out at 3am know that there is a new mum in South London doing exactly the same.

Goodluck, am thinking of you x

[silvia81]

hayhi froglegs - thank u for ur post - actually really helps to know it's not just me! let's hope it gets better soon hey .. xx

[Josephineshuts]

Have just googled this and I know I’m years late to this conversation! My baby is coming up for 4 months and is an amazing sleeper - last night she did 7 till 330, fed and back to sleep till 730. I woke up at 330 for her and that was it - and I’m also unable to nap in the day ( I just lie there awake) this happens maybe 4 out of 7 days a week. (And I can never nap when given the opportunity) Now you are on the other side... any tips? Will it pass? Any words of wisdom?!